A Principled Politician goes down in PA

Update and bump, Nov 10, 10:35 am - who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Senators? The Spider Knows! (See the end of the post.) Key quote from the story:

"There were times walking into my caucus room where it wasn't fun," he said, adding that he stayed with the GOP largely because it allowed him to bring federal dollars home to Rhode Island.

It's all about the fun - unless it's about the pork barrels. Who said money can't buy happiness?
-'fly

Maybe you Pennsylvanian people didn't like Santorum's principles, but at least he had some.

But the great citizens of PA have led the way for campaigns in the future: Say as little as possible, avoid taking a stand and make yourself as small a target as possible. Allegedly a pro-life Dem, Bob Casey, Jr. sold out the unborn in the closing days to seal the deal.

How many of you ignorant Iggles fans thought you were voting for his dad? The corpse of Robert Casey, Sr. would be a better senator than the empty suit you sent to DC.

You could have elected him governor where he could only screw up your state. No, you had to foist this soulless being upon the whole country.

Speaking of empty suits, I'm glad that RINO "Weak" Linc Chaffee went down. Scuttlebutt is that he would have pulled a Jeffords if the Senate was tied.

What a difference a year makes

November 2005 - Louisville 56, Rutgers 5.

November 9, 2006 - Rutgers 28, Louisville 25.

The Scarlet Knights rallied from down 25-7 and shut out the Cardinals in the second half. The winning points scored on a Jeremy Ito field goal with 13 seconds remaining. Of course, this being Rutgers, they had to scare the bejeebers out of everyone - first by MISSING the game-winning FG (only to get a second chance on a Louisville offsides) and then by allowing a big return on the kickoff, followed by a last-second play that ended in a sack. Some of the older Loyal Sons may be keeling over at this point.

One only hopes that ye olde campus doesn't suffer a riot. We're not used to this sort of thing. I was actually at the old Rutgers Stadium for the famed Halloween Homecoming win, 50-49, over Virginia Tech. The fans stormed the field but I don't think the goalposts came down. Now, however, with what is probably the biggest win in school history? The posts are halfway to College Avenue right now.

(update, 11:55 pm - yup.)

R-U, rah rah!
R-U, rah rah!
Hoo-rah, hoo-rah, Rutgers rah!
Upstream, red team!
Red team, upstream!
Rah!
Rah!
Rutgers, rah!

Just a guy from Lawn Guy Land

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Northeast Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
The Midland
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Yup. Pegged to a tee. Now you can read my blog in the proper tone of voice. (w/t to the Boy Named Sous - and by all accounts more accurate than most of the online quiz genre. Check it out!)

A small return of a large service

SmadaNek (of Jersey Blog Carnival fame) has been helping with Soldier's Angles' Valour-IT project, and sends word that he needs a little more help to reach their goal - $45,000 by Veteran's Day. All the proceeds go to providing voice-activated laptops to wounded soldiers.

PowerLine gave them a big boost just yesterday, so perhaps the forty or so visitors here won't seem to make a big difference, but believe me, every little bit helps. My Navy grandma would be proud, Ken. Thanks.

Start Learning Spanish

The first casualty of a Dem Congress will be the security of our borders. It was the GOP House than stopped the President, Senate Dems and McCain-kissers like my Senator Martinez from passing the non-amnesty amnesty program.

Remember that bill for the fence along the border that the President signed a week ago? You'll never see it.

The people of Iraq are screwed.

The unborn in the USA are, too.

Here's the first challenge for Speaker Pelosi: She knows that the impeachment of the Savior hurt the GOP in the 1998 election. I believe her when she says she doesn't want to do it. But all those new committee chairmen want it, the people who send Dems money want it, the media want it, the party faithful want it.

We are experiencing operational difficulties

Blogger is giving out some very strange errors while posting. I seem to be up and running OK, but the poor Spider is having issues where his posts are formatted with all sorts of tags I've never seen before. (Anyone know what "div style=[object]" means?)

And where was the admin during all this trouble? Hockey tournament, Lancaster PA. We won't discuss how we did: all you need to know is that the words "shutout" and "repeatedly" figure rather often in the story.

Good Evening and Welcome to Kansas

I saw Kansas Friday night at some dive in St. Pete. Quick observations:

You know your band is old when the opening act is your bass player's stepson.

Guitarist Richard Williams is 150 lbs lighter than he was ten years ago. It has improved his playing. Heathlier? Skinnier fingers?

Vocally, singer Steve Walsh can no longer hit the fastball. It's like watching Willie Mays on the '73 Mets. He should have asked me to sing "The Wall" for him. Maybe it's because he is the sole keyboard player as well and has trouble dividing his attention.

Kerry on, wayward son.

Warning - boredom ahead

I realize that whenever I mention the Lord's Own Hockey, the Hive empties out... but anytime you have a kid do something for the first time in 89 years, it warrants some passing attention.

[Evgeni] Malkin also scored in the first period, beating Dan Cloutier with a wrist shot, to become the first NHL player in 89 years with goals in his first six games.

That was back in the day when there were only four teams in the whole darned league. (Click the proper year on this fabulous site for an idea of the hockey fashions pre-Depression - or even pre "Original Six.") He's in fairly impressive company, all the same.

Malkin became the first player since the 1917-18 season to begin his NHL career with goals in each of his first six games. That's when the Canadiens' Joe Malone established the all-time record by scoring goals in his first 14 NHL games.

Fourteen straight games. That is stupid good. Only six other players have ever gone for goals in 12 straight games EVER - start, end, or anywhere else in their careers.

Kerry on, Wayward Son

I am not even going to post to the links of what this creature did. If you are on the web, you already have seen and know. But some quick thoughts:

• He has killed any hope of ever, I mean EVER, being president of this country. France, I don't know. Not only because the tape is the gift that keeps on giving, but Dems that he is campaigning for are being challenged to denounce him. He can kiss goodbye a ton of support from his party two years from now. Boy, do they hate him now.
• This is a massive Freudian slip. He stabbed his own in the back when he returned from 'Nam. These people wonder why they can't get the GI and Vet vote.
• I wasn't going to say this, but the man has denigrated the service of my father and my brothers, so I need not be kind.
• "I apologize to no one." Oh really, Senator? I bet you do a lot of apologizing at home where Teresa wears the pants with the checkbook in the back pocket, you whipped....

Oh, and I was one of those dumb guys who joined the service. But I wasn't as dumb as my younger brother, who actually got stuck in Iraq.

Musical Monday's soundtrack

I saved this for a Monday, and now it's your turn to play along. Here are the ground rules, as decreed by Groovemaster Nat King Cullen -

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

The fun of it is, you don't pick what you'd want. You just let the shuffle decide. In my case, the shuffle has 3,249 tracks at its disposal, checking in at just over 201 hours. (Yipes.) So, here we go, the Nightfly Soundtrack, Take One:

Opening Credits: Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies, Weird Al Yankovic. (Oh, great start.)
Waking Up: Jingle Bells, Robert Goulet (on the Simpsons). ("Your manager says for you to shut up!")
First Day At School: Theme from Moonlighting, Al Jarreau. (No do-overs, right? Poopie.)
Falling In Love: Burning Love, Elvis Presley. (Luckily, I get to hit "next." Why is this even on here?)
Fight Song: What Makes You Think You're the One?, Fleetwood Mac. (Sweet.)
Breaking Up: Bungalow Bill, the Beatles.
Prom: Flash Light, Parliament. (It could be worse - it could have been that Warrant song that was our "official" prom song. Erk.)
[btw, if the next song is "Life" by Sly and the Family Stone, I'm officially freaking out hard.]
Life: Good Morning Little Schoolgirl, the Yardbirds.
Mental Breakdown: Back on the Chain Gang, the Pretenders. (Um... wow.)
Driving: The Battle of Hoth (Empire Strikes Back), John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra. (Nice touch - a bit of the Imperial fanfare at the start, and the track's 15 minutes long.)
Flashback: Reelin' in the Years, Steely Dan. (I swear I'm not lying.)
Getting back together: Vacation, Connie Francis.
Wedding: Hot Fun in the Summertime, Sly and the Family Stone.
Birth of Child: Don't Forget to Remember, the Bee Gees.
Final Battle: the "Haffner" march, Mozart.
Death Scene: Massachusetts, the Bee Gees. (A repeat, in a collection of hundreds of artists. I'm disappointed.)
Funeral Song: Blue Christmas, the Platters. (And yes, it's an upbeat cover of the song.)
End Credits: Livin' Thing, ELO.

I'm going to have to do this again sometime, with a less stupid computer - other than a nice swing in the middle and a classy Final Battle, it's a mess. A C at best, maybe even C-. And hitting next after the credits (let's say, to open the sequel or score a "bonus scene") got me the Bee Gees again, and while they're great, they wouldn't figure heavily into things if I were scoring this.

Important Police Work

The Tampa Tribune is against a referendum on the ballot in our county that would give more power to regulate “adult” businesses. The Trib claims that this would tie up police resources for more important work.

Work like this:

On Oct. 13, police opened an investigation into Belden after Julie Irwin, a 38-year-old jewelry maker, accused him of kissing and groping her in the bar of a Harbour Island restaurant.


Doug Belden is the Hillsborough County Tax Collector.

I haven’t done the bar scene since the first term of Ronaldus Magnus, so I need advice from those more experienced. The guy‘s a sleaze, but is this a law enforcement matter? Would the police be this concerned if it were a private citizen like myself doing the groping?

Especially since it probably happened about 10,000 times in Ybor City Saturday night?

What this world needs...

...is a Black Jesus:

Director/co-writer/co-producer/star Jean Claude LaMarre, an actor who has helmed several features, most recently "Brothers in Arms," injects a smattering of racial references into his sliver of the greatest story ever told. Indisputably, there has never before been a telling of Jesus' life in which the itinerant preacher has claimed he was born in a manger because discriminatory lodging laws in Bethlehem denied his mother a bed at an inn. And nowhere else has Nicodemus asked his fellow Pharisees, "Can we believe that this dark-skinned Nazarene is really Him?"

Now I know that our Lord did not look like Charlton Heston or Max von Sydow, and a close look at Chapter one of Matthew’s Gospel shows that our Savior had some African ancestry. But the film maker is so obsessed with skin color that he leaves out the most important aspect of our Redeemer (bold highlights added by me):

But lacking the drama of Jesus' trial and the passion, as well as the substance of his teachings, LaMarre's turgid take has very little to offer dramatically or inspirationally.

What is more important to know about Jesus? That he said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life; no man comes to the Father except through Me.” or the color of his skin?

Top Ten time!

Top Ten new features of the "Gerald R Ford" class of US Aircraft Carrier -

10. Free loaner carrier whenever your original is in drydock
9. The captain trips down the stairs whenever he leaves the tower
8. Cool nicknames like "USS Unelectable" and "Lost to Carter"
7. Standard 6-CD changer in the dashboard and XO-side airbags
6. People don't automatically associate "Gerald Ford" with the United States, so you avoid a lot of embarrassing anti-American sentiment in foreign ports
5. New standing orders - land a fighter jet, chug a Pabst
4. Flight deck flips over entirely to reveal 9-hole pitch-and-putt golf course
3. Captain Chevy Chase
2. You get to tell EVERY city to "Drop Dead" before launching missiles

and the number one new feature of the Gerald Ford Aircraft Carrier -

1. It's not named "GM"

Thank you, Swillers!

See Emily flay

Your Friday feast of frowning fury is fast upon us.

Notice how I avoided the Queen Mother of All Dirty Words, there. That's because there's plenty of THAT on the other end of the link. You are duly warned.

My contribution is simple - Spammers. No matter how you filter them or report them, they multiply like rabbits - but not the cute fluffy Easter card kind; more like the scaly, Skeksis, eat-your-own-young kind, that hums along to Rod Stewart singing "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"

[NB - "sing" is the wrong term for what Rod does to that (or any other) song. He runs it aground like a drunken tanker captain, then wallows in the wreckage. For all of that, he can join the list, with knobs on.]

But we were discussing spammers. Y'know, it's so much fun to spend a half-hour of my day at work cleaning up before I can actually do work - and most of these people aren't even trying anymore. Nothing that would make me even remotely think, "Hey, this might be business-related." One subject read "ViHaggara", which sounds like I'm being spammed by illegal immigrant stereotypes: Jo, main, you want some vihaggara? Eeet's good stuff. Whatsamata main, ju don' like vihaggara? Like ju don' gots no problem! There was also "lo sing we ight". It works as an advertisement for a failed Christmas carol, but not for a diet aid.

PS - "Rolex" is not spelled R-O-L-L-U-X, unless you are actually selling a brand of vacuum cleaner no-one's heard of before. My guess is that you're the one that sucks, spambot.

PPS - I also spend a half-hour at home cleaning up because you fail to curb yourselves, you misbegotten whelps of six-legged poodles. Quit flinging your poo at my front door. A big Old Man send-off to the whole pack of you, and may you join your fellow leech-breeder in Motel Five-to-Ten.

I predict Dirty Thursday 11/02/06

I saw most of the FL guv debate Monday night. Forget the polls, here is what I saw:

Crist was a candidate who has sewn up his base and is going after the middle. He had the confidence to give a Dem answer to an abortion question ("I am personally opposed, but.." Just quit sending me campaign flyers lying about how prolife you are.)

Jim Davis was a candidate still trying to reach his base. He mentioned W several times and even made a few weak attempts at race-baiting to try and motivate blacks to the polls. (This guy is a political eunuch.)

Black Dems feel about Davis the same way I feel about Crist. Even worse for Davis, because there is no evidence he gave a rat's toenail about black people before two months ago.

My prediction is that there will be some Dirty Thursday surprise sprung on Crist having to do with race.

I know, I'm wearing the tin-foil hat on this one.

House of the Red Bullseye

Because I failed to read This Life yesterday. Sorry, Lisa.

There is a house in New Jersey
They call the Red Bullseye
And it's been the ruin of many a checkbook
Dear God, they just got mine

Well I started off in menswear
Bought my new blue jeans
Then I stumbled into electronics
And bought twelve DVDs

Now the only thing a shopper needs
Is a cart and an empty trunk
And the only time he'll be satisfied
Is when he's bought his junk

Oh mother, tell your children
Not to shop until they drop
Spend their lives and all their money
In the House of the Big Red Spot

I got one card at the limit
And the other was reclaimed
I'm going back to the Red Bullseye
To toss my cash down that drain

There is a house in New Jersey
They call the Red Bullseye
And it's been the ruin of many a checkbook
Dear God, they just got mine

Musical Monday, instrumental edition

At work, it's been King Hell Week since early September. When that happens I usually turn to the instrumentals: jazz, film scores, collections of pop and swing and none-of-the-above. I work pretty quickly without lyrics to concentrate over.

Cullen and I swapped large instrumental mixes a while back. I was pleased that we shared just enough similar taste to serve as a launching pad for the other stuff neither of us had heard of the other's collection. Good times. I've also been scouring for a couple of the cds he used, since Windows Media actually will tell you the album if it recognizes the song.

This means that you also get the "All Music Guide" review of said album (if there is one) and it's always fun to see which of your favorite albums only got 2 stars and a condescending smackdown - or which ones got the famed "No further information is available for this selection." It also means you get inane screeds such as one Dave Thompson's review for Shadows are Go!

The Shadows enjoyed 20 British hits between 1960 and 1965, and this is their first American compilation.

Considering the vast amount of vinyl-to-CD and tape-to-DVD work yet to do, this may not be as shocking as Mr. Thompson thinks it is.

So we probably don't even want to wonder what that says for the Great American Record-Buying Public,

We're too busy wondering what all those capital letters mean. "...great American record-buying public" is just as easy to understand, but doesn't make us clinch up inside in anticipation of what foolish thing you are about to write.

...smug, snug, and secure behind their piles of Ventures vinyl and sorry surf compilations, blissfully unaware that, a mere ocean away, entire generations were shaking to the Shads.

Hoo-boy. How about we go ahead and wonder what this says, in spite of it all. Maybe it says that this is the first American compilation of the Shadows, and as a result all this "smug ignorance" is somewhat understandable for those of us who were born after 1960. Maybe it says that there's a huge market for this now that surf is coming back. Maybe it says that you know jack about the American record-buying public (great or otherwise), and they had plenty of Shadows 45s in a separate stack. I lean toward that last, since you're slagging surf compilations in the same review in which you praise the Shadows' music.

You know the songs, of course...

WHAT?!? I thought we were smug, and cowering behind the mighty shielding power of "Hawaii Five-O" and "Walk, Don't Run"?

...These melodies are scored into your brainpan regardless of whether you know, or even care, that the Shadows used to be Cliff Richards backing band.... yada yada infulenced Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page.... blah blah you ignorant yobbo.

OK, I made up the ignorant yobbo bit. You'll have to grant me that it isn't much of an exaggeration.

...and with a cutoff date of 1966, there's not a vocal cord in sight.

In 1967, the band had clear skin installed so you could see their vocal cords. Pretty much finished them as a charting band.

...its 23 tracks take your senses by storm, easy listening burned through with a vitality that makes a mockery of the unhip reputation the band (like their boss man) acquired après Beatles.

Besides naming many of the tracks - completely unnecessary, since there's a complete track listing before the review starts - this is the only time the reviewer even attempts to describe what kind of music this is, except that it's not surf or the Ventures, despite being compared to both right off the go. That's extremely lame. I like the "après," though. Classy. Let's skip to the end.

The fact is, this band was kicking butt while you were still saying 'bottom,' and this isn't a retrospective after all. It's a manifesto.

Since the latest recording is forty years old, sport, yes it is a retrospective. I mean, say what you want about Paul McCartney (Heather certainly is), but he's still writing new music après Beatles. (Classy!) The manifesto part is all yours, and like most writing in that genre, it sucks out loud. It is, however, superior in one fashion - it's short, so I can make fun of it more easily. For example, you wrote 'butt,' not 'ass,' and then insulted your readers for only saying 'bottom.' That's funny. You're as edgy as a Play-Doh knife and you know it.

And quit telling everyone how inferior they are that they only just now got around to buying music they enjoy. You aren't better than anyone else because you discovered a band earlier than other people. It's nauseating to listen to blithe gibberish pass itself off as important writing, and worse when the writer is only writing to give himself airs - to the point of openly snubbing the readers who are his only reason for writing. If you didn't actually sign the Shadows to their label and sit in the producer's chair, you don't really have a point to being such a snot, do you?

Go Figure (Exodus 20:2-4)

" I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. " You shall have no other gods before Me. " You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth.
Exodus 20:2-4 NASB

More people who claim to believe that the above verse is the Word of God believe in astrology than the average American:

12.3% Americans who believe astrology impacts one's life and personality.

13.6% Evangelicals who believe this.

Can someone explain this to me?

Which line was not in the movie "Airplane"?

“Timmy, do you like gladiator movies?”

“Timmy, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”

“Timmy, have you ever gone skinny-dipping with a priest?”

Another lunchtime down the tubes

I'm sick of the MSM not getting credit for all the great journalisming that they do, you know? As a former journalism major, this reporter can tell you that The Craft is difficult enough without hearing all this non-nuanced hoo-hah from bloggers in pajamas (possibly with footsies) and their cheap blended scotch.

Just look at the exclusive scoop from the brave embedded reporters of CNN - at great personal risk:

Anyone can ride shotgun with the finest fighting force in the history of God's green earth, but it takes cojones to ride with the Islamists insurgents facing such overwhelming odds. Why, one could get beheaded shot at poor ratings if one isn't careful. A sniper-scope view of our own occupying soldiers is a story you won't find anywhere else!

In order to bring you this harrowing footage, we're willing to take that kind of risk, so you filthy Internet parasites should be more respectful of us crusading journalists. Now you know why our sources must remain anonymous, even from the chain of command of their victims targets. What would happen to the news if we passed on word of where these people were, and how they organize? They'd never trust us again, that's what. So when they say they want "a PR campaign aimed at influencing the American public," well, we deliver, because it's important. We can always get more soldiers, but once sources lose trust it's over - Kim Jong Il stops returning our calls, and Kofi too, and soon we won't be able to tell you anything we want. Don't you dare question my first amendment rights! (Or my patriotism.)

(w/t to the filthy parasites at The Coalition of the Swilling)

update, 3:08 pm - Mr. Bingley reports that the above satire is, if anything, short of the mark. Not only do they talk about "getting beyond the emotional debate" and airing it, they give us another link to the damned thing. Miserable snot-licking dung-jockeys.