Friday, October 30, 2009

A public service, yeah, that's the ticket!

An ABC affiliate in D.C. will run a story on breast exams during November sweeps.

The ABC affiliate in Washington is airing a two-part series that takes a close — and unobscured — look at breast self-exams. The series is airing during the fall "sweeps" period critical for a TV station's ad revenue, prompting concern by a parental watchdog group. But WJLA insists it's not just a naked attempt to boost the ratings.

The two segments include clinical demonstrations of self-exams, and the breasts of the two volunteers are not blurred. They were to air during the 5 p.m. and 11 p.m. newscasts Thursday and Friday.

Forgive me for my cynicism, but it is common practice here in Tampa for local stations to do stories on the strip joint industry or prostitution during ratings periods. Or other sensational stuff like, "Your children will DIE!!!! Film at 11."

It was about time that some local news department would decide to double down.

Mike Huckabee is a coward...

...for not making an endorsement in the NY-23 race.

One name is notably absent from the list of prominent conservatives who have lined up against the GOP nominee in the Nov. 3 New York special election: former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

Even as other past and prospective Republican presidential candidates have offered their endorsements, Huckabee has conspicuously declined to officially support Conservative Party nominee Doug Hoffman, a decision that has left bewildered many of the social conservatives whom he assiduously courted in his 2008 bid.

Some of my fellow Bible-thumpers get on me for not being a Huckabee fan. I tell them he is as slippery, theologically and politically as Rick Warren. I hold Huckabee responsible for giving us the McCain presidential campaign. He stayed in that race long after he had no chance to win in order to drain votes from Romney in hopes of being McCain's VP pick. I offer as proof his whining about Sarah Palin.

Why are you bewildered, social conservatives? I'm not. Huckabee can't commit on NY-23 because he doesn't yet know whose fanny he will have to kiss to get on the 2012 GOP presidential ticket.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I am my pastor's go-to guy....

..for all things alcohol-related. I have been asked to explain proof as a measurement of alcohol content and what is considered a high proof. My pastor had never heard of Everclear until last month.

This is why this ex-wino was walking down the beer aisle at the supermarket. (Is beer sold in supermarkets in NJ?). I was keeping current on any new beverages now are on the market.

This is when I saw something that puzzled me. Old Milwaukee NA, as in non-alcoholic. I occasionally enjoy an O'Douls, but in removing the alcohol from Old Mil you remove the only reason one would drink it. What other cheap drunks have become just cheap? Non-alcoholic Pabst Blue Ribbon? Red, White & Blue?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The lot was cast, and the lot fell upon...

....Father Andrew Trapp.

Known as "Father Rambo" for his passionate paintball play, the poker priest pulled out all the stops, at one point holding rosary beads while in a big hand against Salley. Then after dispensing of the former Detroit Pistons Bad Boy, Trapp then shocked Rousso, before taking home the six-figure prize when poker star Negreanu misread the strength of Trapp's cards.

Before we question his vow of poverty, all the winnings are going to help his parish build a new church.

Still, I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea of asking Jesus to help you draw an inside straight

Putting on my tin-foil hat

In June I sucessfully lobbied for a TV in one of the VA clinics to be turned from CNN to FOX News. I was in that clinic three weeks ago and FOX was still on.

But that was before the White House waged war against the network. Yesterday that TV was turned to ESPN.

All of you know what I am thinking, and I am ashamed for thinking it.

When I was in the VA hospital last May each bed had its own TV with a variety of cable channels including FOX (but not MSNBC!). I'd be curous to find out if that has changed.

I am becoming a KOOK (Keeper Of Odd Knowledge).

I should fell bad about this....

...because some who are reading this work for the industry.

Circulation at many of the country's largest newspapers continued a steep slide as the Audit Bureau of Circulations Monday morning released the latest figures for the six months ending September 2009 -- proving yet again that the industry can't shake the dramatic declines that have taken hold over the past several years.

On a comparable basis, ABC reported that for the 379 newspapers filing with the organization, average daily circulation plunged 10.6% to 30,395,652 -- one of the most severe drops in overall circulation. Sunday circulation for 562 reporting newspapers was down 7.4% to 40,012,253.

The St Pete Times is 25th on the list, losing 10.70% of its circulation between Sept 08 and Sept 09. I know I should feel bad, but as I said to the St. Pete Times salesman who called me today (of all days!), "Why should I pay for the St Pete Times when I can watch Katie Couric kiss Obama's fanny for free?"

I don't even go on their website for the free stuff.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Lots going on

The sorta short version is as follows:

A. I've spent a lot of writing time using a pen, on paper.
B. I've spent other time writing on a computer - fiction work.
C. This is, collectively, only a smidge of time.
D. The great part of my time has been spent dealing with a big family issue.

I'm don't want to tell what that issue is, at least not yet. Eventually. The worst is past, I'm glad to say, but there's a way to go. Prayers would be most welcome, if you are inclined to do so; and those of you in the know, you have both of our thanks.

For those of you currently enjoying the Barking Spider Show here at Ye Olde Hive, thanks for your continued and patient reading. I mean it when I say that I'm glad for each and all of you, and it hurts that I've had to neglect you. I hope to be doing better by you soon. Even though I can't promise much, you deserve to know that I'm aware of it, I'm working on it, and you should see a few actual posts soon - even as simple as a list of snippets.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Xenon, Scientologist Princess

ABC's Nightline gets hot and heavy into Scientology.

Keep in mind, most of the journalists at ABC probably think I am a kook because I believe that a Hebrew peasant walked out of a tomb 2000 years ago. But you would think that if the Xenon story is untrue this Scientology spokesman wouldn't beat around the bush and just say so. So it's offensive and disgusting, but is it false?

One think the L. Ron rep said that I cause me to notice. I'll try and quote it from the video. He said that it" was in violation of his religious beliefs to talk about it". He was forbidden to discuss the subject even to deny it.

This should be a clue that there is a problem with this religion. I cannot think of any question anyone could ask my pastor in which the answer would be "it is in violation of my religious beliefs to talk about it". The idea of secret knowledge that is withheld from unbelievers and those who haven't reached a certain level should throw up red flags to even the most theologically ignorant.

The mysteries of my faith can be found in the books section of Wal-Mart for under $10. If you come to my church and talk to me I can get you the secrets of the universe for free.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

This is terrible

Can you hear the evil crowd
The lies and the laughter
I hear my inside
The mechanized hum of another world
Where no sun is shining
No red light flashing
Here in this darkness
I know what Ive done
I know all at once who I am
-Steely Dan

They found her.

The body of a child found in a south Georgia landfill has been identified as that of a missing 7-year-old Florida girl, Clay County, Florida, Sheriff Rick Beseler said Thursday morning.

Somer Thompson, 7, went missing Monday on her way home from school.

John Bankhead of the Georgia Bureau of Investigation told CNN the state medical examiner will positively determine whether the body is that of Somer Thompson, who went missing Monday. An autopsy will be conducted in Savannah, Georgia.

The preliminary identification was based on the girl's clothing and a birthmark, Beseler said.

When you are old and gay and full of sleep

I think this is hilarious.

HHS to Create a National Resource Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual andTransgender Elders

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius today announced plans to establish thenation's first national resource center to assist communities across thecountry in their efforts to provide services and supports for olderlesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals.

Experts estimate that as many as 1.5 to 4 million LGBT individuals areage 60 and older. Agencies that provide services to older individualsmay be unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the needs of this group ofindividuals. The new Resource Center for LGBT Elders will provideinformation, assistance and resources for both LGBT organizations andmainstream aging services providers at the state and community level toassist them in the development and provision of culturally sensitivesupports and services. The LGBT Center will also be available to educate the LGBT community about the importance of planning ahead for future long term care needs.

Are the needs of the old and gay any different fron the old and straight? Or is this a way to shovel gummint cash to a lib constituency that is a little miffed with lack of movement on "don't ask, don't tell" and the repeal of the DEfense of Marriage Act?

With apologies to William Butler Yeats.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Barack Obama Bible Cover (Update)

An update to this.

The link to the Obama Bible nows says that the product is no longer available. I have no idea why.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Willie Sutton wasn't available

It seems to apply to a lot of our government's decisions, but this particular news is truly worthy of "Good Idea Cat" -

I can always grow a longer arm for next time!

I mean, it's Goldman Sachs, right? Such a bang-up job all their alumni have done in government up until now, it's a brilliant move to hire this fellow.

Spending our way to prosperity simply hasn't been tried enough!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Lost Manatee

In New Jersey?

The wayward male — known as Ilya — has been stuck near a Linden oil refinery, and officials say plunging temperatures and a lack of food were endangering its life. And while the gentle sea cow appears to be in good health, it had been huddling near an outfall pipe at an oil refinery — the only place it could find warm water.

Not only is that poor thing freezing it's flippers off, but tht's probably not the cleanest water. Right now New Jersey too cold for me. How did this thing find it's way to the Garden State?

Charlie Crist... running ads on conservative talk radio complaining about Obama's spending. What is it, 10 months before the primary? Of course, his play date with the One down in Fort Myers in February is a problem.

Charlie's RINO supporters are worried. He's losing county straw polls; the national GOP wants him, but Florida Republicans don't.

Charlie may have a Plan B:

Still, one top Crist supporter even speculated that Crist might consider withdrawing from the race and run for re-election. That probably won’t happen. But while the idea of Crist switching races is unlikely and probably absurd, the entertainment of such an absurdity by the Crist-can’t-lose crowd is noteworthy. They’re nervous. So is Crist, who’s unexpectedly dropping in at Republican committee meetings, where straw poll after straw by rank-and-file Republican base voters show the base favors Rubio.

Crist switching races probably won't happen, but oh the entertainment value.
Here is why non-Floridians should worry about this. The national GOP is shoving Crist down the throats of Florida Republicans. If this guy makes it into the Senate he will be the model for the ideal GOP presidential candidate. Haven't we been there and done that?
I am considering holding my nose and changing my voter registration back to GOP so I can vote for Rubio in the primary.

Rush, one more time.

I'm going to try and keep this short, because I'm trying to think happy thoughts and not use any of those words that I picked up in Germany that Frau Fineberg never taught us at Absegami High.

Rush website has a full

Checketts approached Rush as a partner in buying the Rams. Rush warned him that this would happen. Checketts said he could deal with it. Well, Checketts couldn't.

The One's fingerprints are on this. The NFL Players Union head is DeMaurice Smith, who used to work for the current attorney general and was on his lordship's transition team.

But this was just a dry run for next year. The labor agreement between the players union and the NFL expires in 2010, and the owners are thinking about locking out the players as leverage. On the players side will be Revvums Jesse & Al, the Congressional Black Caucus and The One. What has transpired was a test to see if the owners can be mau-maued. Take a look at General Motors Mr. Goodell. That's your future.

This race-baiting crap really gets the Sisko angry. Think happy thoughts.

Beyond Parody

This is not a gag. You can get one for $24 plus shipping here.
Normally, the "my" in this verse is understood to be the Lord Almighty, but in this context it is made to appear as a quote from the One.
H/t to CMR.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Rush to Judgement.

It seems that the potential purchase of the Rams by an investment group which includes Rush Limbaugh has driven the libs in both regular media and sports media crazy. The usual suspects in the usual places are focusing on two alleged quotes attributed to Rush.

I'll take them from a recent column by Jason Whitlock, who just lost the last shred of respect I once had for him:

Here are two quotes attributed to Limbaugh in a 2006 book, "101 People Who Are Really Screwing America," by Jack Huberman.

"You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray (Dr. King's assassin). We miss you, James. Godspeed."

"Let's face it, we didn't have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: Slavery built the South. I'm not saying we should bring it back. I'm just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark."

I received an e-mail from Limbaugh or one of his employees Tuesday morning somewhat disputing the authenticity of the quotes.

The e-mail reads: "We've sourced the quote," then cites a wikiquotes entry: "These quotations are currently being disputed because the author of the book did not provide air dates for the original source material quoted."

Limbaugh claimed on his radio show Monday that his staff could not find any proof that he ever joked about slavery. I'm sorry. Limbaugh doesn't get the benefit of the doubt on racial matters.

In an earlier version of this column Whitlock doesn't give a source for these quotes. The column was updated to give legal cover to his slanderous hide.

Let me tell you how a rational person can conclude that these words have never come out of Limbaugh's mouth.

Rush has 20 million listeners each week. At any given time during the show, 4 million people are listening. One of those 4 million is a poor intern from an organization called Media Matters. This tortured soul's task is to listen to the show every day in hopes of catching Rush making the career-ending blunder.

A Media Matters intern ratted out Don Imus in 2007. Later that same year the poor intern thought he scored against Rush with the "phony soldiers" story.

The point is this: Here are two quotes allegedly made before 2006 which would have put Rush out of business and they are only coming out now? The Dems didn't use these quotes during the 2006 campaign? In 2008? I find that hard to believe.

But in Jason Whitlock's world some of us don't get the benefit of the doubt.

And these people wonder why there are more 25-54 year olds watching Fox News at 3am than CNN at 8pm

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A visit to the new library

The new library in my 'hood is fully automated with many bells and whistles. One can check out books without human intervention.

That includes books on hold. I received an email from the library telling me that Mark Levin's book was in and to come and get it. The books on hold are on a separate shelf. Each book has a tag with a name on the binder. I found my book easily. I also found some books that youngsters in my church had on hold. Smart as whips and well-read too.

The price to be paid for reading books for free is that your pals who go to the same library can know what you have on the hold shelf. So if you have a hankering for 'The Satanist's Bible' or 'the Girls of Penthouse - a Pictorial' you may want to go with the plain brown wrapper in the mail route.

Of course, we don't have this guy stinking up the place.

Operation Christmas Child

Fill a shoebox with small toys and other goodies and Billy Graham's kid will ship it to a youngster overseas.

I know many of us have it tough, but I'm not missing any meals and I have indoor plumbing, which is more than can be said for these kids. The youth group in my church is doing the heavy lifting - I don't even have to pack my own shoebox.

Full disclosure: Along with presents, the kids are told of the guy who showed up at Christmas. Not Santa, the other Guy.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

This is just for laughs.

Last week, Conan O'Brien had a little fun with the First Lady's appearance on Sesame Street

Is Conan making fun of Obama? Or Birthers? Or both?

Monday, October 05, 2009

Quarterbacks, Black and White

I was talking with a guy at a bus stop about the travails of the hapless Bucs when the recent QB change came up. He said to me, "I have nothing against black quarterbacks, but starting Byron Leftwich was a mistake."

I found this amusing for two reasons. 1) It's been a long time since the concept of a black quarterback was an issue. 2) The guy who felt I needed to know that he had nothing against black QBs was himself black.

I run into this guy all the time. I may have a chance for a follow-up.

If your curious, all three of Tampa Bay's QBs are black.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

"The Ego Has Landed"..

..was the headline on Drudge. I assumed Chicago was in the bag, because the president would not be foolish enough to go to Copenhagen if it wasn't.

Well, I'm as shocked as CNN is on the outcome.

If Chicago was an underdog, and Obama thought that he could change things with his magical Pferdkaese then he needs to seek professional help.

James Dobson doctorate is not in theology, but in child psychology. Maybe he could help our president grow up.