See Emily flay

Your Friday feast of frowning fury is fast upon us.

Notice how I avoided the Queen Mother of All Dirty Words, there. That's because there's plenty of THAT on the other end of the link. You are duly warned.

My contribution is simple - Spammers. No matter how you filter them or report them, they multiply like rabbits - but not the cute fluffy Easter card kind; more like the scaly, Skeksis, eat-your-own-young kind, that hums along to Rod Stewart singing "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"

[NB - "sing" is the wrong term for what Rod does to that (or any other) song. He runs it aground like a drunken tanker captain, then wallows in the wreckage. For all of that, he can join the list, with knobs on.]

But we were discussing spammers. Y'know, it's so much fun to spend a half-hour of my day at work cleaning up before I can actually do work - and most of these people aren't even trying anymore. Nothing that would make me even remotely think, "Hey, this might be business-related." One subject read "ViHaggara", which sounds like I'm being spammed by illegal immigrant stereotypes: Jo, main, you want some vihaggara? Eeet's good stuff. Whatsamata main, ju don' like vihaggara? Like ju don' gots no problem! There was also "lo sing we ight". It works as an advertisement for a failed Christmas carol, but not for a diet aid.

PS - "Rolex" is not spelled R-O-L-L-U-X, unless you are actually selling a brand of vacuum cleaner no-one's heard of before. My guess is that you're the one that sucks, spambot.

PPS - I also spend a half-hour at home cleaning up because you fail to curb yourselves, you misbegotten whelps of six-legged poodles. Quit flinging your poo at my front door. A big Old Man send-off to the whole pack of you, and may you join your fellow leech-breeder in Motel Five-to-Ten.