Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I don't know what offends me more

The fact that these clowns in DC voted on a bill none of them read, or Nancy Pelosi trying to wrap Jesus around this mess.

Most evangelicals know the difference between "Catholics" like San Fran Nan and Catholics like the Nightfly. And that's because we have people like San Fran Nan sitting in our own churches, who were raised in the church and are into the evangelical culture but wouldn't know the Lord's salvation if it jumped up and bit them auf ihrem Po. Many, like many "Catholics", have bowed the knee to their new Messiah in the White House.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

50-year-old guys...

...are dropping like flies.

Michael Jackson, Billy Mays.

I'll try to blog as much as I can to let you guys know I'm still around.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Exorcism, It's not just a Catholic thing

Non-Catholics do it, too.

A Connecticut church has outraged gay rights advocates by posting a video of members performing an apparent exorcism of a teen's "homosexual demons."

The 20-minute video was posted on YouTube before it was taken down.

Gay youth advocate Robin McHaelen (mih-KAY'-lehn) says the video appears to show abuse. She says she plans to report it to the Connecticut Department of Children and Families.

The boy confirms he is 16 but otherwise has declined to comment.

The Rev. Patricia McKinney of Manifested Glory Ministries in Bridgeport says he is 18 and came to the church on his own seeking help.

She denies the church is prejudiced and says it took care of the youth.

There is nothing in Scripture to support an exorcism for this. Some people believe that their bad behavior is because of demon possession. This is a copout for those who do not want to take responsibility for their struggles with sin. There is no demon of gayness. I was not possessed by the demon of winoism; I was a drunk. If you are a married guy and your eye and or other body parts wander (like to Argentina) you don't have the demon of whorism. You're just the governor of South Carolina.

If you are doing things, or thinking about doing things that you know are wrong, well you belong to a very large club. As a member in good standing I greet you. Which is why this verse is in the Bible:

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Face it, God knows. And you know God knows. And He knows you know He knows. And you know He knows you know He knows. Ya know? So let's peel off the layers and have an honest conversation with the One who knows.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Two days @ the VA hospital

I was in the renal clinic of the VA hospital Monday morning. The kidneys are improving, which means I won't be hitting any of you up for one in the near future. Of course, the doc said I was fat (as if it took a medical degree to figure that out) and I need to deal with that. And I think I am working on it. The pants I am wearing now have a waistline I haven't seen in ten years. (Sorry guys, I'm not giving up the waistline inches.)

I had an appointment later that morning to have the stitches taken out of my foot, but I got a call from my boss. He was installing a central air system, and the building inspector for Temple Terrace was not satisfied with our permit paperwork and I had to deliver the proper documents by 2pm or the full weight of the Reich would be brought down on my employer. So, I rescheduled the foot doctor for Tuesday and rushed to work to obey the orders of my government masters.

But here is the biggest accomplishment. The clinic I go to has two waiting areas. In the past, both TVs had CNN. About a month ago I called the Patient Advocate to lobby about getting one of those TVs switched to FNC. Compared to the real needs of patients this was a petty request. But if I was going to watch a news network that pandered I may as well watch one that pandered to me. Monday morning one of the TVs was on FOX. I was victorious!

Friday, June 19, 2009

This doesn't surprise me

Pastor Steve H called me up to express shock over this.

Should this his surprise you? Barb and these other senators could be making 3-5 times their salary in the private sector without having to leave their home town.

Why do they give up this payday to fly across the country? Why is Larry Craig forced to look for love in the men's room of the Minneapolis Airport while flying between DC and Idaho when he could make more money and never have to go farther than Brokeback Mountain in nearby Wyoming?

Chuckie Schumer could be making millions as a corporate lawyer in NYC instead of toiling for less than $200K per year in DC.

All of the above, if the chose the private sector, would be living in anonimity. No Wikipedia pages, no "The Honorable Senator Foghorn Leghorn", no press conferences, no fawning media.

Strom Thurmond didn't leave until he was 100 years old. Robert Byrd is 90 and in a wheelchair and won't give it up. Ted Stevens has been in DC longer than I have been alive and it took an indictment to get him to go.

They are addicted to the power.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dress Code...

...for Brooksville, Florida city employees.

A Florida city has written common sense into its employee dress code: Wear underwear to work.

The Brooksville city council recently approved a revised dress code as part of its effort to update existing policies.

The revision instructs employees to observe "strict personal hygiene," including the use of deodorant. It lists "the observable lack of undergarments and exposed undergarments" as "unacceptable attire."

It also prohibits clothing with foul language or messages promoting drug use, "sexually provocative" garments, halter tops and piercings anywhere except the ears.

Repeat offenders can be fired.

The city council approved the dress code 4-1. Mayor Joe Bernadini opposed the revision, saying the underwear edict "takes away freedom of choice."

My question is: For how many city employees would the must wear underwear to work rule be a deal breaker?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Andy Warhol was almost right

In the future, everybody will be on Facebook.

My pastor's on Facebook. My coblogger's on Facebook. Half the Internet is on the Internet again - on Facebook. Now I'm on Facebook. Half of us know jack-all about what to do there, but there we are.

I fear it will be one more in a long line of things I wind up neglecting and then feeling guilt about.


(small update - it's stupid, but I seriously feel bad for my story characters who only kind of exist... if I shirk on posting, well, at least all my blogfriends have actual lives to fall back on. But my poor characters got nothin' but me, and I'm indifferent to their needs, and they lead unfulfilled lives dreaming of all the things they could be doing and seeing, if only I got off my lazy ass and put a pen in my hand. [Although, I never write standing up, so ironically I have to get ON my lazy ass after getting a pen. Yeah, I'm sure they're just cracking up about that one: "He's not lazy enough to save us from limbo! Our fate is a wry symbol of modern living, hurrah!" I'm sure THAT makes it ALL BETTER.] So yeah, now Facebook gets in the way of their hopes, purpose, and very existence, and I'm a terrible terrible person.)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

New Jersey and infomercial products

...perfect together.

NEWTON--A Snuggie-wearing thief who allegedly attempted to break into the Main Street Grocery on Friday night was thwarted when witnesses spied him stacking crates to gain access through a window, police said.
You can stay warm while answering the phone! Great for home, camping out, even at the stadium! But not so much while trying to visit a business after-hours.

Police responded to the area at 11:30 p.m. after receiving reports from a nearby home of several people, including a man wearing dark clothing described as a trench coat, who were attempting to burglarize the closed Main Street store.
Grammarian's note - it is the report that had several people in it, not the nearby home. Police responded when someone reported that several people were trying to break into the store. Thank you; carry on.

Brandon Ryzner-Meredith, 18, of Newton, was found in the area, wearing a dark blue "Snuggie" blanket and a hooded sweatshirt, said Detective Lt. Michael Richards. A Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves that is heavily advertised and satirized on TV.
For those of you scoring at home: that's a guy wearing a Snuggie, busted during a smash-and-grab by Cosmo Kramer. You can take things from there.

Ryzner-Meredith was taken into custody and charged with criminal mischief, criminal attempt of burglary, possession of burglar's tools, and appearing in public in a versatile fleece bathrobe, police said. He was released, pending a Superior Court appearance.

Three Newton teens, who allegedly had fled the area due to extreme embarassment, were found by police over the next few days. Police tracked the youths due to their inability to control sputtering gales of laughter. Taken into evidence was a Flip video file of Ryzner-Meredith attempting to explain that the Snuggie was not really his, that some buddy asked him to hold it for a minute. They charged two 15-year-old boys and a 17-year-old boy in the attempted burglary, but agreed that the defendant looked like a total doofus, and called the video "key evidence AND comedy gold."
I may have supplied a few key details that were absent from the last two paragraphs.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

You thought wrong, kiddo

You know... five years ago, if I had to make a list of impossible things that would never happen, you performing a coup de grace, by pulling a Michael Hutchense on yourself, would have been right at the top of the list. But I'd be wrong, wouldn't I?

In this case, yes, we all were. There's little else can be said, either - except two things. First and most obviously, that it's a terrible and sad end for anyone. Second, that it's likely enough that Mr. Carradine had company, with said company fleeing the scene before his discovery. We may never know for sure. This is Bangkok, after all. Can't be too careful with your company.

Monday, June 08, 2009

I was going to see this movie..

..that is, until now.

{Megan Fox} The Transformer's bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates -- reluctantly -- what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. "I'd barter with him," she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, "and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?"

What other industry besides Hollywood insults its own customers?

I have a small list of actors which I will not spend money to see because I would be too distracted by remarks they have made off-camera to enjoy the film. This wench has made the list.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System??!?

Both Nina and Kate P, super literary types, have determined where in the library they would be located, based solely on name. (As compared to Kate P being, y'know, an actual human librarian by profession, and thus being located at the circulation desk or something.)

Sounded like something to try. My result was:

328 - the legislative process

Class: 300 Social Sciences

Contains: Books on politics, economics, education and the law.

What it says about you: You are good at understanding people and finding the systems that work for them. You like having established reasoning behind your decisions. You consider it very important for your friends to always have your back.

Quite interesting. A decent read on my personality, I think, and probably closer on the subject matter than I like to let on. I don't necessarily enjoy politics and stuff, but I do like reasoning through my decisions, trying to understand people, and it's important for friends to have each other's backs.

The website also lets you "cheat" by putting in your birthday and "favorite 3-digit number." I know very few people who just happen to have a favorite three-digit number. Anyway, based on birthday I'm some Eastern European reference material; based on the number of a former apartment I used to live in, I'm in this section...

231 God

Class: 200 Religion

Contains: The Bible and other religious texts, books about the general philosophy and theory of religion

What it says about you: You don't mind thinking about the unknown or other very big ideas. You will never feel like your work is finished. The 200-series is dominated by Christian topics, so you may feel like you're constantly surrounded by Christians.

Despite having a school librarian wife, I had no idea that my former apartment would wind up being in the God section of the virtual library. The part about being surrounded by Christians is certainly true, since we were all from the same college prayer group.

PS - the source of the quote in the post. Yeah, so that's a "made of awesome" tag, right there.

I caved

Just like the Spider, I've jumped on the ol' Facebook bandwagon.

It's a little strange. Every time you update your profile it posts the info to "The Wall," as if the event just happened. According to Facebook I got married about a half-hour ago.

My life used to be less confusing to me before computers.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Sing Along With Me

Come let us worship and bow down
Let us kneel before Obama our god our maker
For he is our god, and we are the people of his pasture
And the sheep of his hand
Just the sheep of his hand

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

At 5:54 am, local time...

And I'll call down thunder and speak the same
As my voice fills the sky with flame
Might and glory gonna be my name
And they'll light my way
--- The Grateful Dead, "Estimated Prophet"

Nobody left word at the front desk, but they decided to help us out. At 5:54 am we were shocked awake by two extraordinary thunderclaps. I'm a heavy sleeper but there was no way to avoid these things - they weren't just booms, they were straight from a Norse Epic. They deserved Jack Kirby captions across the sky - "K-K-RRRR-AAA-CK-ARRROOOMMM" or something. They were like portents, one immediately following the other, both unbelieveably crisp and clear, perfectly enunciated strikes. The accompanying lightning had to be in full Blu-Ray HD to do them justice.

They seemed to pierce literal holes in the sky: as they faded, we heard rain softly start to fall, perfectly rising in volume to replace the sound of its heralds. I've never heard anything like it before, and unless I live to hear the angels' trumpets on the last day, I don't know if I will again. It was an amazing moment, and I'm glad I was there.

Escape From New Jersey

In this post from National Review's the Corner, a study from good old RU published in October of 2007 says that an increasing amount of Jerseyites are escaping, and many are joining me:

(Between 2000 and 2005) Seven of the top ten destination states of New Jersey out-migrants were in the South and West: Florida (188,704), California (55,431), North Carolina (50,913), Virginia (48,454), Georgia (38,581), Texas (33,895), and Maryland (31,449). These states accounted for 41 percent of all New Jersey out-migration during the period.

Maybe with the possibility of a new governor this trend may change. Until then, my New Jersey brothers and sisters, look south and come to the light!