Haven't done any television in a while, have we? Cool the water and here we go - Dancing With the Stars, seminfinal edition:
Background - Ladybug and I have rooted for Kelly Osborne for several weeks now: she's endearing. Think about being the daughter of rock n' roll's Prince of Darkness, raised on the road, winding up on reality TV and an easy target for vicious tabloids, and getting into and out of drugs and such... She could be sharing a suite in oblivion with Lindsey Lohan. Instead she's kind of girl-next-door with an edge. However, we are done done done with Donny Osmond. He's not objectionable but he's not the dancer the other three are. And there's something vaguely annoying about him - it's like he's aggressively nice; it reminds me of every mean snippy thing I've ever done. "Donny Osmond wouldn't yell at the dog."
He isn't helping himself by cracking that it's tough being around so much estrogen. I know he's joking - he's the only male left in the final four, and frankly having Aaron Carter around last week doesn't tip the scales all that much. (Donny Osmond wouldn't have made that crack.) I just think he came across poorly. A guy finishing last in the judges' scores every week can't afford to cheese off the audience.
OK, uhm... wow. Dancing With the Stars has been brought to you today by the letters T, A, and the number 9.
Alicia Keys performing: she's great, as long as you only listen. The dancing really annoys me. But that's nothing compared to the "Under Pressure" montage, which was forty times worse. Even if they didn't care about poor Freddie (RIP), they'd realize that David Bowie is still alive to get mad at them.
I realize it's a dancing competition. (Simon Cowell - "This is a dancing competition. Sowry.") Still, most of the bits that go with the songs on results night are useless. Last week's gorgeous performance during Susan Boyle's song stands out as a superb exception.
Mýa is through to the finals. No shock. Donny (durn it) is also in. At least he's not wearing the shiny suit from last night - he looked like a neon watermelon. It's down to Kelly and Joanna, and it's a shame that one has to go early. First, the Brothers Gibb. I daresay they will do better by poor Maurice Gibb (RIP) than the show did by Freddie Mercury.
They're mostly up to it after all these years. Barry's having a little trouble holding the falsetto notes but he is reaching them. This is priceless just for the shot of Ozzie and Sharon Osborne in the audience, dancing to "You Should Be Dancing."
Well, here we go... and.... WOW, Kelly is through. Joanna is out. Ladybug feels badly for Derek Hough, Joanna's partner, who is consistently great (well, except for that stupid boy-band song he 'sang' a few weeks ago).