Kurt Snibbe rules

This is truly inspired. My favorite part? As if you need to ask...




Everything about this guy just kills me: the insane expression, the mullet... I love that he has hockey tape on his socks and shoulder/pants piping, but no gloves. And best of all, he's wearing that sweatband. One of my deck hockey teammates not only wears an identical headband (and a nearly-as-fabulous mullet), but he may just be crazy enough to try this in a game. Thankfully, we're all on foot.

You Can't Make This Up

Drunk perv in a car full of little boys.

Nashville police are investigating why a registered sex offender was allegedly driving drunk with five young boys in his car. (Why? Because apparently he can! - spider)

An officer stopped Michael Wayne Ingram early Saturday after seeing him drive recklessly.

Police say Ingram was convicted of raping a boy in 1991.

Officers said they tried to conduct a field sobriety test, but Ingram was nearly too intoxicated to stand.

Authorities say Ingram may have met one of the 12- and 13-year-old boys in his car through a Web site.

The report says the boys were having a sleepover when Ingram called one of them and asked to meet him.

Charges against Ingram include violating the sexual offenders registry and DUI.

More details as they develop online and in Thursday's News Sentinel.

B16 to tree-huggers..

..don't go nuts.

Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology.

The leader of more than a billion Roman Catholics suggested that fears over man-made emissions melting the ice caps and causing a wave of unprecedented disasters were nothing more than scare-mongering.

The German-born Pontiff said that while some concerns may be valid it was vital that the international community based its policies on science rather than the dogma of the environmentalist movement.

A Really Inconvenient Truth

update, 12/12 - WILLisms has a very detailed look at this and many other societal numbers. Great article, Mr. Franklin. -nf

AND double update - following a link from the comments by Mr. Bingley, to Ms. Sister's citation of Roland Martin.
...

National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 56, No. 7, December 5, 2007

From the table on page 6, percentage of out-of wedlock births in 2006 by race:

All Races 38.5%

Non-Hispanic white 26.6%

Non-Hispanic black 70.7%

Hispanic 49.9%

If this offends, your argument is not with me but with the Centers for Disease Control.

Hiding Your Light under a Bushel Basket

One hundred years, maybe fifty years ago, a presidential candidate would not have to do this.

Now that he has his moment in the political spotlight, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee does not want his days at the pulpit to be scrutinized.

I don't know what to make of this. I know that David Corn is not being honest with his readers. His real desire is search out in these sermons the politically incorrect and the wierd (at least what would be considered wierd to the godless such as Mr. Corn).

This is the pattern of the drive-by media. Instead of asking Huckabee how his Christianity would influence his policies, (like, "Are you in favor of teaching alternatives to Darwin in schools?"), they ask questions intended to embarrass ("Did God make the world in six days six thousand years ago?")

Now, if you're not running for president the above question is easy to answer. "Six days? I have no idea. The question you should be asking Wolf, is what will you say to the Lord Jesus when your sorry posterior appears before Him?"

Let's not forget the bias factor. Obama wraps himself in Jesus at every campaign stop but he will not get any of the above questions.

Two I'd like to hear Obama handle:

From the GOP debate: "Do you believe every word of this Book?

What does the Bible say about homosexuality?

That will never happen.

It is sad that communicating standard Reformed evangelical theology would disqualify one from high public office. But then, the Gospel is supposed to offend, and if your pastor's messages meet the approval of Mr. Corn then your pastor is not doing his job.

"Godless" is a strong term, but I am familiar with Mr. Corn's work, and I stand by that description.

I'm in Love

If this woman is single, I'm on my way to Colorado Springs.

Charl Van Wyk, who is credited with saving parishioners' lives when he fired back at terrorists in the St. James Massacre, says the volunteer security guard who shot and stopped an armed attacker at a Colorado Springs church should be honored.

The volunteer, Jeanne Assam, was credited by Pastor Brady Boyd with saving many lives in her quick response to gunshots fired at the New Life Church on Sunday.

"I give the credit to God and I mean that I say that very humbly, God was with me the whole time I was behind cover," she told reporters. ""It seemed like it was me, the gunman, and God."

Or, not really

Sorry, Jeff Pearlman, I'm not sure I can get behind this.

I'm going to start with your lead - a quote from a Met fan on a blog, chosen as the problem in a nutshell:

"I remember back in the early and mid '80s when the Mets were getting a bit "white" under Frank Cashen's rule. Personally, I did not like that, but compared to what Omar Minaya is doing today, that was nothing! Minaya is simply looking for the best Latin players available, not the best players available."

Now, he doesn't link to the blog or quote the fan, or the name of the blog. This may be ESPN.com policy, but it would be nice to have some context here, to be able to look up the source material ourselves. For one thing, we have NO IDEA whether or not said fan is white, black, Latino, Martian, or Klingon. Yet Pearlman's entire premise for the article is that we naturally tend to root for people who resemble us. So right away, I don't know what to make of things. I think it's probable that it's some race-based observation that he is observing; it could also be that the fan in question wants Omar Minaya to get great players regardless of their ethnicity: in other words, the fan isn't betraying a problem with race so much as a problem with watching the Mets disintegrate like an ice cube in a blender.

Pearlman takes over from here:

During their club's 45 years of (largely mediocre) baseball, Mets fans have endured a lot. They've seen their first team lose 120 games. They've seen Tom Seaver traded for Pat Zachry, Doug Flynn, Steve Henderson and Dan Norman. They've seen Doug Sisk's sinker, and Lee Mazzilli's outfield defense, and John Pacella's ever-cascading cap.

They've seen Mets jerseys draped over the unworthy shoulders of George Foster, Gregg Jefferies, Vince Coleman and Bobby Bonilla. Just this past season they saw a listless, pride-starved club engage in the worst down-the-stretch collapse in the history of the sport.

Two things:
First, if you're really getting into the Met fan's POV, you have to mention the Dallas Green Mets. Those teams nearly killed my heart for baseball, in a way that even this season's self-immolation did not. Coleman and Bonilla were only the beginning. Eddie Murray, Carlos Baerga, Bret Saberhagen, and Anthony Young have to be included. Gregg Jeffries, on the other hand? He was a decent hitter (at least for his first six or seven years), and was at least OK defensively at four different positions. I'd rather have seen him than Baerga, who rarely walked and was a mild threat (at best) on base.

Second:
This was NOT the worst down-the-stretch collapse in baseball history. In fact, it's not even the worst collapse in MET history. Losing to the Cards in 2006 was arguably worse. The '06 Mets had superior production from six of the eight positions, a better starting staff, and a much more solid bullpen - and they lost to the Cards, a far worse team not only than them, but worse than the '07 Phillies. The '07 Mets, on the other hand, played .500 ball from June 1 on. They were giving away the division since BEFORE the All-Star Break; in fact, the Phils nearly caught them in early September. Only David Wright improved from '06 to last year; set against an off year from Jose Reyes, a sharp drop from Carlos Delgado, a normal crap year from Paul LoDuca, a small decline from Carlos Beltran... plus the weaker pitching and the injuries all over the place... let's just say that it wasn't a terrible surprise that they couldn't hold off Philadelphia. Even when they pushed the lead back up there was little relief.

So I would probably put them fourth, maybe fifth (California to Seattle in 1995 was pretty bad too). Then the '64 Phils, giving up practically the same lead (6½ games to 7) in far less time (only 10 games to 17) than the '07 Mets. Then there's the '06 Mets blowing the pennant, and on top of the list, the '04 Yanks spitting the bit when up 3-0 AND with a ninth-inning lead in game four against Boston in the ALCS.

In other words, Mets fans can handle a lot.
But can they handle Livan Hernandez?
OK, OK -- not Hernandez, per se. But what the portly right-hander stands for; what his potential free-agent signing (which appears likely) would stand for.

What he stands for? To me, he stands for a team unwilling to take a major chance to add a lockdown ace to the rotation. It IS rather difficult to handle, thank you.

If one pays attention to the New York-based sports radio stations or the New York-obsessed baseball bloggers, it's only a matter of time before Mets general manager Omar Minaya officially petitions MLB to rename his ballclub "El Equipo de Latinos" (The Team of Latins), replaces french fries with platanos (plantains) at Shea Stadium's concession stands, and insists Mr. Met don a sombrero.

OK, you're losing me. Nobody needs the English translations for Equipo de Latinos or platanos. I'm surprised he didn't put "(hat)" next to "sombrero."

I also love this whole Disparage the New Media thing. Let's pay attention to bloggers when they make utterly no sense, but when they argue baseball using statistical analysis and comparison - and make us look like curmudgeonly idiots - let's ignore them geeks! They're just bloggers! (Unless they prove our point, right?)

In his three-plus years as New York's GM, Minaya has earned rave reviews for his gutsy approach to building a team. He sees gold in other teams' manure (John Maine, Oliver Perez), life in the given-up-for-dead (Jose Valentin, Endy Chavez), and passion in the overlooked (Willie Randolph). When Minaya was hired, the Mets were coming off a dreadful 71-79 season. They haven't won fewer than 83 games since. Minaya is, without question, the organization's best general manager since Frank Cashen.

Agreed, except that Cashen helped build one of the best pitching staffs in baseball: Gooden, Darling, Ojeda, Fernandez, and Aguilera; with McDowell and Orosco from the pen. That's a team WHIP of 1.22 and ERA of 3.11.

Yet, despite the on-field success, an increasing number of Mets fans are griping about their team's continued (and apparently all-encompassing) determination to bring in as many Latin-American ballplayers as possible.

My theory is that they don't care about the Latino part of it... at least, the fans who love baseball don't care. The games two premier hitters are named Rodriguez and Pujols. The big catch of the current offseason is a pitcher named Santana. A dude named Cabrera was the centerpiece of the winter meetings' biggest trade. If the Mets were bringing any of those guys aboard, the fans would be pulling over on the BQE to randomly high-five each other.

Nearly five years ago, when Jose Reyes debuted as New York's spark plug of the future, fans were excited. When, nearly three years ago, the Mets added Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez, fans were elated.

OK, so you do see it.

When, however, Minaya added Perez and Chavez and Valentin and Ambiorix Burgos and Orlando Hernandez and Eli Marrero and Julio Franco and Ricky Ledee and Jose Lima and Sandy Alomar Jr. and Jorge Julio and Duaner Sanchez and Geremi Gonzalez and Miguel Cairo and Jorge Sosa and Ramon Castro and Luis Castillo and Jose Offerman and Carlos Delgado and Ruben Gotay and Guillermo Mota and Moises Alou and ... well, the bloom is off the rose.

Or not.

Let me ask you a question. Let's say that your team offered me Reyes, Beltran, and Martinez... and it would cost me every last player on the list above, from Perez to Alou. Who backs out of that trade first, me or you?

Let me give you a hint - right now, Oliver Perez and Ambiorix Burgos are the only guys on that list I'd hesitate over. Maybe also Duaner Sanchez if he's healthy. Delgado isn't going to suddenly hit 45 homers again, the year he turns 36... and I can pay his salary to other people. Castillo is replacement level, essentially, though he's a "name." Castro has already been replaced by Johnny Estrada. So what am I missing by giving up the family-size pu-pu platter for those three guys?

Unless you want to keep Pedro, and let me keep Perez and Burgos. Then I think you'd have a deal from my point of view.

Wrote one blogger: "I've been a Mets fan since I saw them win in '69 and I have to say, I've never seen such blatant racism in baseball in the last 40 years."

Wrote another: "Minaya needs to be careful about signing too many Latino players. He has to make sure that he is not overdoing it. Latin players are great, but he does show a tendency to give too many of them chances at the expense of white players and black players."

OK, so this is kooky. It's also not universal. And even then, are these guys racist, or do they think that Minaya is hurting his team by not bringing aboard talented non-latino players?

AND AGAIN - how about some attribution? Don't worry, dear leader - I have Google (so you don't have to!) and I found this page. If you read carefully you will see that two of the three of Pearlman's quoted sources are from this single page. The third is a comment here in Ted Robinson's online colum - and he neglects to mention that Robby D from Brooklyn made nine other points. (The one quoted was tenth of ten.) The other nine were about clubhouse discipline, the pitching staff, the bench, and other piddling baseball stuff.

Maybe Pearlman didn't attribute because he had no time, given the astonishing breadth and depth of his research.

For the record, I do not believe such sentiment to be true.

Neither do I. He did bring in LoDuca, Shawn Green, and Jeff Conine. He gave Mike Pelphrey and John Maine major roles, brought in Scott Schoenweis and Chan Ho Park (heheheheh). He recently dealt Milledge for Church and Schneider - decidedly non-latino players. The real problem is that, with the exception of Maine, none of these guys is what they actually need. Minaya's blind spot isn't race, it's pitching. He hasn't got enough of it. He's got a team of roto mashers and he needs to part with a little of that offensive depth to grab a good-to-great pitcher, not a washed up Livan Hernandez. (Or, for that matter, a washed-up anybody else.)

Yet oftentimes perception is stronger than reality. And in New York City, the perception of a Mets' Latino bias is strong. Really strong. Just listen to Mets fans gripe on WFAN. Or, for that matter, sit in the Shea Stadium stands and listen to the crowd when the announcer bellows, "Now pitching, Ambiorix Burgos ..."

At the end of last season, any pitching change was a cause for the faithful to commence watching the game through their fingers. (And Burgos is one of the guys I think they should keep.)

Why, just last week I attended a reception where one man, knowing I'd written a book about the Mets, approached me and said, "I still love the team, and Livan Hernandez wouldn't hurt. But how about adding an American or two?"

Well, Mr. One Man, Livan Hernandez would likely hurt quite a lot. His ERA is dead-average, he strikes out only 2 guys per walk, he hocks up a dinger once per nine innings, and puts 3 baserunners on every two innings - and do you want THIS bullpen trying to strand all of those baserunners? Why waste money on this guy when you can deal existing assets for a guy like Dan Haren?

As an unapologetic dyed-in-the-wool liberal, there's a part of me that feels the instinctive need to vehemently condemn such talk; to spout the ol' people-are-people, we-are-the-world, give-peace-a-chance mumbo jumbo. Yet, to be honest, I get it. Growing up in Mahopac, N.Y., I worshiped at the altar of Steve Ratzer and Ross Baumgarten -- Jewish ballplayers I could empathize with.

The operative word there is GROWING UP. When you were a kid. When you loved a player for no other reason than you loved him. When I was growing up in Lindenhurst, NY, I loved Bob Bourne and Wayne Merrick. But I knew darned well (even at nine) that it was Bossy, Trottier, Potvin, Smith, Gillies, and Tonelli who paid the bills. Bourne and Merrick weren't lousy or anything, but even fans realize that fan favorites aren't always the guys who win the games for you. I rooted for Chico Resch even after he went to Colorado - but I knew that the Isles had kept the right goalie.

For me, the bottom line isn't WHY Minaya hasn't upgraded the pitching. It's that he isn't doing it, reason be hanged. I mean, if he could grab Johan Santana, his alleged latino-crush wouldn't be an obstacle... it must be something else.

White Mets fans will support Livan Hernandez (even cherish him), but many of them will always -- always -- prefer a guy like Paul Lo Duca, the scrappy Italian boy with the swagger.

Can't stand Lo Duca. Had one good year with the stick, doesn't walk, hurt Milledge and Reyes with his poor attitude and "what, you called a strike on ME?!?!" mentality. Is now 36. Estrada is five years younger and half the cost, so even if he's no better a player it's a net gain.

Bottom line is that if Minaya brings in a front-line starter, the way he brought in Pedro in 2005, nobody will talk about this, or care one way or the other. People are grasping at straws to try to explain last season, when the more likely explanations make for boring columns. (Bob Klapisch, for example, makes some good sense here, but will people froth over it or fisk it?)

Vick in the Doghouse..

...for 23 months.

Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison Monday for his role in a dogfighting conspiracy that involved gambling and killing pit bulls.

The suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback could have been sentenced up to five years by U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson. Vick, who turned himself in Nov. 19 in anticipation of his sentence, was wearing a black-and-white striped prison suit.

After Vick apologized to the court and his family, Hudson told him: "You need to apologize to the millions of young people who looked up to you."

"Yes, sir,' Vick answered.

You know you've screwed up when you've got me agreeing with the PETA people.

Let's throw this out. The guy's football career is over. Are the state charges double jeopardy, or at least beating a dead horse? (pun intended)

For Emily's birthday

Only in the world of the FFOT [language alert] can a malediction turn into heartfelt good wishes.

Happy Birthday, Emily!

[Credit to Ricki for the phrase, one of her two gems of the week (the other being "brain donor").]

Wrecking the idiot curve

Once again, real life becomes its own satire.

This morning, while heading to work, I saw the following bumper sticker:

RON PAUL
REVOLUTION

It's printed in white, on a black background - but the EVOL in "revolution" is printed in red, with a box around it, and in mirror text. In other words, "LOVE" (if you read it right-to-left). I only wish I could have snapped a pic with my cel phone in traffic. It was just beautifully insane on so many levels.

Ron Paul is LOVE! (Or, the inverse of LOVE, but you know.) The Constitution is his WORD! And his kingdom shall have no foreign entanglements!

teh randm sports collum

(No, I won't write it all in lolcat - kthx!)

* Everybody and his twin is suddenly picking the Steelers to beat the Patriots on Sunday. Need we remember that this is the same Pittsburgh team that lost to the Jets?

* Speaking of the Patriots and Jets - what are the odds that the Pats can win by 45 points, they way the Celtics beat the Knicks a couple weeks ago... 3 to 2? Pick-em?

* I saw a 2008 New York Mets page-a-day calendar in Target. Decided not to buy it, since I don't want to own something that totally goes to pieces after September 1.

* OK, so the Mets need a catcher and they trade for one, Johnny Estrada, for the bargain price of Guillermo Mota - the reliever who'd been suspended 50 games for the 'roids. Now they need... um... maybe a starting pitcher? And maybe they can has trade for Johan Santana, or Erik Bedard, or Dan Haren, who happen to be three of the American League's ten best pitchers. So they pull the trigger quick on their first choice - a mediocre, expensive catcher (Brian Schneider) and a fourth outfielder (Ryan Church) in exchange for Lastings Milledge.

Forget for the moment that they now have too many average-to-bad catchers on their roster, and that Milledge is a better outfielder than Church. Don't they need Milledge to help bring back one of those three pitchers? Is it that terribly hard to plan this out ahead of time?

* Islanders = NO SCORING. Urge to kill... rising...

* My own humble deck hockey team won its first playoff game 4-0, and will go for the t-shirts on Tuesday evening. Then we get to start a new season after the New Year. Sometimes I think that they should award sweatshirts in the winter, and t-shirts in the summer. Oh well.

(I had planned a few other odds and ends columns too, loosely organized around other broad topics. I will have a busy weekend, however - it's Mystery Science Night tomorrow, and there are many things I need to do in the real world. I'll still write them, I think, but it may be a few days. Expect me when you see me!)

Today is St. Nick's Feast Day

The real St. Nick.

Another reason to stay married

Because it helps the environment. Little did the Fly and Ladybug realise on that blessed Sunday last August that they were shrinking their carbon footprint.

It took four university researchers to figure out what an area trashman has known for years: Divorce hurts the environment.

Elijah Thorne, founder of Grayhound Trash Removal Inc. of Bladensburg, Md., has seen divorcing couples throw away everything from wedding pictures and dresses to perfectly good furniture and even mattresses.

"It generates a lot of trash when households break up," said Thorne, who got his first trash truck 35 years ago. "They throw away a lot of stuff. Good and bad."

The authors of a study published last week in the journal Nature reached the same conclusion.
"By getting divorced you could have more impact on the environment," said Jianguo "Jack" Liu, a Michigan State University professor and co-author of the article.

Divorce not only generates more waste in the short-term, but also down the road: Along with shrinking fertility rates, longer life spans and higher incomes, divorce is contributing to a worldwide trend toward a greater number of smaller households, the report said.

Yes guys, it's better for the earth to hug your wife than to hug a tree. If you won't stay together for the mother of your children, at least do it for Mother Earth.

Bart Simpson was half right

It turns out that TV Guide also sucks.

Dig that Pauley Perrette, they say: a tattooed "non-goth" who nonetheless wears Doc Martens and dyes her hair black; and, like, totally doesn't make lots of friends (since most crimes are committed by people the victim knows), and is in a band. The band is "also a complete rebellion against those ridiculous social-networking Internet sites." [Her words this time.]

Well, bless her stereotype-destroying heart.

You might not believe this, but my snark isn't directed against Ms. Perrette. I couldn't care less that she dresses how she pleases, or that she's picky about friends, or is in a rock band, or believes that the Internet is mostly crap. She says she's happy, and that's the main thing, so I don't give a rat's patoot if she partially fits some half-assed template people use in leiu of their brains. No, my snark is square dead-against the preposterous TV Guide article. Why are they telling me that Ms. Perrette defies stereotypes, as if that was the only reason to read about her? Would she somehow be less interesting if she wore Buster Browns and a blouse from LL Bean? If she secretly dug sudoku, it wouldn't make her acting suck. So why should it be desirable to pitch this story as "She defies stereotypes!" instead of simply describing her likes and interests without any sort of pre-judgment at all? Let us make up our own minds.

Besides, at this point "defying stereotypes" is itself such a dumb cliché that it's meaningless. Why should anyone defy a stereotype?

Seems like there's two reasons. One is a very good reason - the stereotype is overwhelmingly negative or stifling, such as (off the top of my head) "Minorities are latent criminals." That's a stereotype. More importantly, it's dumb-ass racist shlock, and the sort of thing that no intelligent person ought to fall for, ever. But even so... should a young minority teenager decide to be a lawful citizen only because some idiots don't expect him to? Is "Surprise morons!" the only good thing we can say about being a decent human being?

Then there's the second, incredibly foolish reason: the lamebrained concept that it's more "real" to intentionally make one's choices against what other people think. Oh, so you say that all chess players are nerdy? Well, I'm going to the Bruce Springsteen concert, so there! Well... what if, deep down, you like chess AND poetry? What if you far prefer Chopin to American Idol? Are you going to ignore certain things you enjoy just because some people assume that you enjoy them? That sounds kinda dumb. In fact, it sounds exactly like the end of thinking for yourself. You won't be happier that way, and I guarantee that the stereotypes will hum along undeterred by your bold stand.

So, the bad reason isn't really a reason at all, and may well lead people away from their natural interests and strengths; and the good reason turns out to be unnecessary, since it would exist even if the stereotype didn't. It's a great idea to be a lawful citizen, no matter who you are, no matter where you're from. It's a good idea to like what you honestly enjoy, and enjoy whatever friends you honestly make, even if other people dismiss you for it. If the only things others can dislike about you are their own miserable pre-conceptions, then phooey on them.

Stupendous! Amazing!

It's a water cooler - and it's on time! Thrills galore!

It was certainly a slam-bang ending... I found it more quick-paced than last volume, and of course there was more of a punch involved, emotionally. That being said, I am sorely disappointed in the following people/things:

1. EMO-HINDER. You flippin' tool. In the immortal words of Crow T Robot, "There goes a stupid, stupid man." You knew Sylar was waiting in your apartment with a nine-year-old hostage and you just walked in with no plan? Do you know how impossibly dumb that was?
2. HRG. What's your new super-duper, double-secret-probation plan for volume three? You know, it doesn't even have to be different from the last plan, which only failed because Emo-hinder was prominently involved. Just pick someone less tool-like. Or maybe you could take over the company and direct it to noble ends, like you did in the ""five years later" episode from volume one. I always liked that idea.
3. "I'm back." Geez, Gabe. Ouch². That is a terrible line, especially for a super-evil, manipulative genius. Did your writers go on strike or something? BUT - that being said, nice touch with the spinach can. He's strongs to the finichk, and all that. I guess it's like some zen yin-yang thing... the subtlety of the image with the braying obviousness of the line. Or maybe somebody was afraid we wouldn't get it unless he said something? Suits ruin everything.
4. I am very sad for Niki. I am also sad that HRG has apparently whacked Nathan.
5. I have two personal rules for my stories. A- no time traveling. B- nobody comes back from the dead. These are really just guidelines in order to ensure that I don't cheat by letting characters hit the Reset Button. This show, of course, features a main character whose entire thing is breaking rule A, but in a way that never lets the character cheat by just going back in time and "fixing it." In fact, Hiro's dad told him not to. So, OK, I'll let them skate on #A. (Yeah, yeah... you know what I mean.) But with the magic healing blood thing, they are dangerously close to blowing rule B. Not happy times. This volume hit enough Reset Buttons without that.
6. Peter, Peter, Peter. It took some doing, didn't it - but thanks. BTW... I hope that powdered variety 138 doesn't wind up destroying all life on earth or anything. And while I'm pondering - why didn't you ever try to read Adam's mind to find out if he was on the level? If you're strong enough to out-Park Parkman, you couldn't figure it out without your brother's impassioned speech?

Oh, and one thing I loved: stone-cold Hiro Nakamura. Day-ummmmm.

Now, my lovely bride has a running joke, and it's quite true - four women will leave a movie and talk all about how they loved the costumes, and that person was totally believable, and wasn't it so sad when x and y and z, and that was great, and didn't you just die when.... and so on. Four men will leave a movie and say "I didn't buy that, this guy was a jerk, I can't believe nobody thought of THIS, it dragged toward the middle, and how did x and y happen in between w and z?" They are talking about the SAME MOVIE. Both groups LOVED IT. This drives Ladybug up the wall, across the ceiling, and out onto the balcony. Can't figure it out and can't stand it.

Well, consider the above my guy way of saying that, flaws and all, I did enjoy the finale. And holy cow, that cat Hiro is a bad motha-

Happy landings

Evel Knievel has just cleared 69 years, and come down on the Other Side.

In the world to which I was born, Knievel's name was pretty much a synonym for awesome, sort of a cross between Fonzie and Captain America. As a boy I owned the Evel Knievel motorcycle set: you got a plastic molded daredevil in the trademark red, white, and blue, complete with the little cape, and a toy motorcycle (which he may have been permanently molded into, I can't recall). You set up the ramps, and took a long plastic dipstick with teeth along one edge, that fitted into a slot. Slide it in, yank it to rev the wheels, and then send Mini-Knievel careening past the ramp and directly into the wall. The miniature version would successfully scale the first ramp maybe once every ten tries, only to wipe out on the other end.

I sent that poor thing down the stairs, into bookshelves, and tried to jump the cat (who was too smart to stay still for the attempt). The only difference was that the plastic version never broke sixteen bones and spent two months in the hospital.

Longtime friend and promoter Billy Rundel said Knievel had trouble breathing at his Clearwater condominium and died before an ambulance could get him to a hospital.
"It's been coming for years, but you just don't expect it. Superman just doesn't die, right?" Rundel said.

Well... Rundel's metaphor is flawed, but I understand the feeling. Thirty years after his aborted jump of Snake River Canyon, he was sent up on an episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. It was unmistakeably meant to be him - the sadness of it was that they chose to make him an old, pill-addicted shell of the Knievel that we always pictured: brave, rugged, dressed like a superhero, ready to literally leap tall buildings at a single bound, armed with nothing more than his courage and optimism. Every X-Games stunt rider on Earth owes him big-time.

A Kinder, Gentler..

...Nazi church.

An anti-Semitic church formed by white supremacists has abandoned its neo-Nazi imagery, such as swastikas, to make its message more palatable, a change that a leading Jewish group called an attempt to "sanitize hatred."

The group banned the use of Nazi uniforms, red arm bands and similar regalia because they were an instant turnoff to people who might otherwise be open to the church's teachings, including the belief that white Anglo-Saxons — not Jews — are God's chosen people in the Bible.

"We don't like the swastikas. We don't like the negativity," said Jonathan Williams, the leading pastor of the United Church of YHWH. "The majority of people see all that as pure evil."

So the majority of people see neo-Nazi imagery and swastikas as pure evil. Gee, I wonder why?

Lose 60 lbs of pot?

It's been found!

Prank calls and conspiracy theories have been rolling in since the Florida Highway Patrol reported that about 60 pounds of marijuana were found along Interstate 4 west of Plant City on Tuesday.

The patrol has said that anyone who has lost bags of marijuana should call (813) 631-4020. The patrol also asked that people call if they know anything about how the bags wound up at I-4 near McIntosh Road.

There's the number, just call the Florida Highway Patrol and come and get it!

I wasn't going to do this

This post popped up from the fine folks at FJM (language warning) and I briefly considered picking through it for some ideas. I held off for two reasons: first, whenever I do a baseball column it tends to get loudly ignored. I don't like to annoy my guests. Second, I had been saving up for a "meta column" of sorts, trying to get down to the reasons why stat-hounds and grit-n-hustle lovers get after each other with such venom. (Those are the posts where I annoy myself by lapsing into that faux learnéd textbook tone. You know the one. I'm such a smug little idiot.)

I may yet write the meta-column. (Cripes, even the term "meta-column" is so textbooky. Grrrrr.) But the Bill Conlin column is back on the table, in a big way, because after FJM (and a few others) disputed his contention that Jimmy Rollins deserved the National League MVP award this year, he completely flipped out. Some of the details are at the crashburnalley link, but I learned of this at Ace of Spades HQ.

Background - Conlin made a case for Rollins as a deserving MVP. Well, cool - there were a few great candidates in the NL, though I found a couple of flaws in Conlin's reasoning. First, he cited Rollins impressive hitting. I had already pegged the problem with this: if Rollins isn't hitting for power, he doesn't do enough to justify 750 or more plate appearances per year.* Turns out that FJM had a better peg: Rollins wasn't even the best hitting shortstop in his division this year. Second, Conlin cited Rollins' Gold Glove. He's better defensively than Hanley Ramirez, to be sure, but Gold Glove good? Troy Tulowitzki handled more chances in fewer innings, turned more double plays, and committed the same number of errors. Too often lately the GG has been given more like a Silver Slugger, where big names with good sticks get the nod. And I think Conlin gets that, because while he was snidely dismissing Bill James' range calculations, he said that the important thing in fielding was getting the out - and James' stats were an attempt to find out how many times that happens. If Tulowitzki gets to more chances than Rollins, he gets more outs, thus saving more runs, thus playing defense better.

(This also circles back to the chief critique of Rollins as a hitter - he makes a lot of outs. If the whole point of defense is getting the out, thus preventing runs, it only stands to reason that the whole point of offense is NOT getting out, thus causing runs.)

Anyway, he wrote up his piece, was a little prickly about it, but less than the guys excoriating his writing. (And again, I plead guilty on this.) You know, free exchange of ideas and all - it's not like Rollins is an atrocious hitter and stone-gloved fielder who somehow hypno-toaded his way to an MVP award. Congrats and all that. But that's when flipping out occurred.

"Know what, pal? Bash this. . .Tell your bloggers, my career against theirs. . ."

Nice. Of course, Bill Conlin has no idea what most bloggers do for a living. Besides, there are plenty of bloggers who could easily take up this challenge - Mark Steyn, James Lileks, and Bill Simmons pop into mind immediately. Simmons is in fact the prototypical blogger-made-good, writing up Boston sports in his spare time and winning such a following that ESPN snapped him up. There's more than one way to pay your dues.

Things escalated unfortunately from there between Conlin and Bill B at crashburnalley. After a couple more snarks back and forth, Conlin took a time-honored internet law - "The first person to bring Hitler into the argument, loses" - and broke it into bitty bits.

"The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler’s time on earth–I’m sure he would have eliminated all bloggers."

I've seen plenty of people cross that law by calling their opponents "Hitler" but this is the first (and hopefully only) time I've ever seen someone call himself "Hitler" and mean it as a compliment. This is the baseball equivalent of hitting into a triple play, while running over your star player and blowing out his ACL. I mean - WOW. You hate bloggers, so you wish Hitler had started roasting them or something? Because the actual Hitlers of today are actually doing this to actual people all over the world. In Cuba, people are jailed if they open libraries. In the Middle East and China, pro-democracy writers (print and online) are routinely harrassed, beaten, and silenced. Do you really want to use this as an example of your disdain for part-time writers with a passion for their topics? They disagree (perhaps rudely) so break out the jackboots?

In order to defend the high ground, you have to stand on it. This wasn't the way. I mean, some of the quotes of Conlin's taunts are astounding. The guy touts his high IQ, but then snits like he hasn't gotten past first grade; he touts his baseball experience but then shouts down any new information that could help him improve that experience. It's a terrible trap to automatically assume "there's nothing new for me to learn, so cram it." I mean, being snide about chances handled per nine innings? Any baseball writer knows about ERA, right? Well, what is chances per nine innings but a rough equivalent for fielders? It's not the only measure any more than ERA is the only pitching measure, but it's not outrageous for a writer, fan, manager, or whomever to take it into account - "Gee, he gets to more balls per game, but doesn't hit as well, but he's a little faster... who's better?" That's what talking sports is all about, unless one prefers a shouting match where the crankiest coot in the bar "wins" by volume rather than debate.

*The relevant section, for those who don't want to hear me whine about Mark Kriegel's writing, is as follows: "Jimmy Rollins is a pretty fair ballplayer, likely this season's NL MVP, but I think it's amazing that Krieger [oops] would rather talk about his leadership and his fighting spirit, and not about his becoming the fourth guy in the entire history of baseball to have 20 doubles, triples, homers, and steals in the same season. (It was all the rage a few weeks ago when Curtis Granderson got there.) He is also no better than average at getting on base - .344 this season, .331 for his career, never topping .350 - so if Rollins isn't hitting for power like he has the past two years, he is not as valuable as Wright or Beltran. (A three-way comparison of this season.)"

For you know not the day...

…or the hour.

MIAMI -- Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor died early Tuesday, a day after he was shot at home. He was 24.

Family friend Richard Sharpstein said Taylor's father told him the news around 5:30 a.m.

"His father called and said he was with Christ and he cried and thanked me," said Sharpstein, Taylor's former lawyer. "It's a tremendously sad and unnecessary event. He was a wonderful, humble, talented young man, and had a huge life in front of him. Obviously God had other plans."

He said Taylor died early Tuesday at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, where he had been airlifted after the shooting early Monday.

I was at the Bucs-Redskins game Sunday, the beneficiary of a season ticket holder who could not make it. The friend with me told me (big-time ‘Skins fan) that Sean Taylor was hurt and would not be playing. He was a former U of Miami player and apparently he spent Sunday night at his home in Miami where it looks like he was killed by an evildoer during a home invasion.

In the first few verses of Luke 13, Jesus asked His disciples about some Galileans murdered by Pilate:

“Do you suppose that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered this fate? I tell you no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

God is sovereign over this world and nothing transpires without His knowledge or approval. I am one of the lower enlisted in this outfit. I have no idea why God causes disaster to happen, the hurricane or earthquake or home invasion, and neither does Pat Robertson. But according to Jesus, when I see these things I should examine myself. And the question I should be asking is why this disaster did not come upon my sorry posterior.

Jesus made other controversial remarks like this:

“I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but by Me.”

I bring this up because the tragic death of Sean Taylor should be a reminder that none of us are promised three score and ten in this world. Jesus of Nazareth made some bold claims about the nature of heaven and how one can get there. Sean Taylor’s father said that Sean is “with Christ”. Is that true? And what about you?

My email is tampajeff AT pkfamily.com if anyone wants to discuss this more privately than the blog. But go easy on me. I am trying to present a controversial subject as gently as I can. If you are just going to cuss me out, or call me "insensitive" or "intolerant", post a comment on the blog.