Thursday, February 28, 2008

AI water cooler - Top 20 results

The powers that be have finally gotten it together to let the contestants sing the Beatles catalogue. (Hat tip on the story to my own lovely Ladybug!) This will probably come too late for Biker Nurse to gargle her way through "Helter Skelter," but them's the breaks.

I do feel compelled, while we wait, to regale you with a song of my own - an original.

Here he comes
Here comes Drag Racer
He's a diva on wheels
He's a diva and he's gonna be talking back to Simon

He's uber-pouty when his music takes a dive
He's singing Elvis and it makes me wanna cry
And when the judges mock him and he starts to smirk
You bet your life Drag Racer just might be through

Go! Drag Racer
Go! Drag Racer
Go! Drag Racer, Go!

He's looking splendid as he struts his stuff around the stage
He may sound older but it's hard for him to act his age
Disaster's waiting just ahead!

Go! Drag Racer
Go! Drag Racer
Go! Drag Racer, Go!

As for the actual results? Come back in a couple of hours, friends... all will be revealed.

update, 10:30 pm - aaaaaand we're back. AGAIN. Because I spent a half-hour typing, and it all went to poop. Trying again -

Ryan says that there were almost 31 million votes cast this week; I doubt Yeager or Amanda cracked six figures. They're making fun of the half-moose! I guess Ryan reads Snark Raving Mad (scroll down to comment #10).

Medley time. Part of me wishes that they'd used some of these songs in the main performances. "I Saw the Light," good solos from Michael and David Cook. They also give solos to Kristy and Carly on the next song (forgot to write down the title). Hm, Biker Nurse gets a star turn too; she was decent. "The Things We Do For Love" by 10cc, and "I Feel the Earth Move," featuring a nifty duet by Alaina and Trent Dimas.

OK - cut time. Back row stands: Yeager, Manga, Chekeize, Jason Castro, and Michael. Michael and Chekeize sit, easy call. Ryan decides to spook Jason, but he's safe. And Yeager's out. Even he is not surprised. Ryan puts Simon on the spot, but he repeats what he said on Tuesday - no presence, no charisma. Time to fast-forward: I refuse to watch him butcher the song again.

Ladies turn. I just noticed something in the recap that escaped me at first: I think Brooke lost her pick after the first verse, and that's why she didn't play the guitar in the middle. Finally she just strummed along with her thumb at the end. Biker Nurse was a little hissy after her set. "I'm not asking them to buy an album." Uhm, yes you are, dummy; not that I'll buy it or anything. Gosh I can't wait until she's out of there. If the hair doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.

Back row up: Kristy, Biker, Alexandréa, Brooke, and Asia'h. If they count it off right to left it's a no-brainer. Nope, they mix it up. Alexandréa and Amanda are the last two standing - the two people I said would both go home. I'm guaranteed half-right; but also half-wrong. WTF - Alexandréa? No way. %$^#%^**! I am seriously ticked. She wasn't very good, but worse than Biker Nurse? Pure hogwash. Did all of Ron Paul's supporters decide to back Amanda?

After Alexandréa's exit performance she goes straight to Dave Archuleta for smooshy hugs. Don't worry Paula, it's early and there are plenty of guys left.

I would have given millions to hear Ryan add, "By the way, Amanda, you're also out. Boo-bye."

Next, the girls' front row. Carly is safe, no duh. Remmiele is also safe; that's the end of my bottom three perfecto. Syesha sits, the remaining two are last, and third-to-last. (Amanda wasn't even third? WTF.) Kady and Alaina are left, and it's Alaina going home. I was worried after her performance, but I thought that Alexandréa would have put her in the clear. Poor girl is taking it hard, says "it's embarassing." It's embarassing but not for her. Whose baleful hand hath worked this woe upon us?

Ryan's doing a good job talking with her - even offers her the option of letting her out of the sing-off, which is sweet. In the end, all the girls come up for support. Manga Boy is bawling. Alaina sounds good in her farewell, which sort of highlights the dumbassery of this decision.

Both girls going home sang miserable break-up tunes, so maybe America doesn't like that; Ladybug's theory is that Kady, Kristy, and Brooke split the blonde vote and Alaina was odd girl out. (Or, even girl, since she's fourth of four and... you know, that sounded better in my head. Never mind. I blame Amanda.)

Coming back from break, Ryan announces the Beatle catalogue availability thing... the top 12 will take on the Fab Four on March 11th. Idol Gives Back will air on April 9th. Good times. They go on about it for a while (and why not, it was their finest moment), but this means the guys have to sweat out more commericals.

And we're back again. Ryan is name-dropping the guest list for IGB. Did he even stop talking during the break? Again, Amanda's fault. She's the VFTW poster child, I just know it. Poopie. I will destroy this room with my rage. Luke and Robbie finish the bottom three (so I get that much right), but Robbie, not Luke, is going home. Farewell time. That's right, Robbie was the guy who got silly string-ed in auditions. Kind of a shame.

Your turn, folks. I will move on to the Top Model update.

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