Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Proving my theory

News from the wilds of the Potomac Valley: $500 jeans.

No, they're not large enough to pull onto Abe's statue at the Lincoln Memorial. They're tres chic. They were designed by a former doctor, and promptly priced so that actual doctors can't afford 'em. And why?

There are nearly 30 brands here at B Scene: jeans with small pockets and big pockets and specially angled pockets, jeans with close-together pockets that make a wide butt narrower, jeans with no yoke to make a butt extra round. There are rhinestoned and embroidered pockets to call attention to your butt, and plain pockets to make your butt disappear.

That's right, guys. They admit it. They want us to look at their butts. Oh, but heaven help us if they catch us doing it!

Folks - men are idiots; women are insane. If that sounds harsh, read further.

[while looking at terrycloth tube tops:] ("Isn't this the material you make towels with?" asks a young man, and the young woman he's with calls him an idiot.)

Q.E.D. Not that the parents are much better.

They start young at Ilana's store. Martha Ein often shops with her teenage daughters, who are permitted to spend no more than $200 per pair, though "sometimes they twist my arm."
"I don't have that many," says her 16-year-old, Lili, considering her denim collection. "Probably like 15."

Way to draw the line, Mom! (I suppose that's the only moral thing to do with the eeeevil tax cuts.) The perfect capstone is the article's teaser for tomorrow's follow-up: "Tomorrow: Distressing moments."

Too late.

(w/t - the Coalition of the Swilling)


Anonymous said...

her denim collection? 15 pairs? At a couple hundred per?


Anonymous said...

Hmm. You don't seem to have trackbacks.

nightfly said...

Alas, no, they are not supported. But thanks for the heads-up!

Janet said...

The older I get the more I realize jeans are jeans, you just have to know where to look. And yes, that means the right fit can even be found at Kmart.

Anonymous said...

I have no words for shopping agendas such as these.

Sluggo said...

You can have trackbacks, if you want. Go to Haloscan. It's free.

Anonymous said...

I would love jeans that make my butt look smaller, but $500? If that Marina up there is someone who has visited me before, ignore her, she's got issues.

nightfly said...

No, not the same girl, Stacy. The Jersey edition of Marina is sane.

Anonymous said...

Funny, everytime I seine the Jersey Marina, I get slapped with a fine.

I gotta stick to one kinda fish.


(please note punning is still legal)