Friday, March 27, 2009

Ain't no montage short enough - AI results

Interesting night ahead: 36,000,000 votes, Ruben sings, Smokey duets with Joss Stone – and Megan was so egregious on “For Once in My Life” that Stevie Wonder himself has decided to take up his own cause. THIS is American Idol.

Medley time first. Allison, Lil, and Megan sing “You Keep Me Hanging On.” The producers have a terrific sense of humor: they give Megan the line “Why don’t you get out of my life, and let me make a new start?” Your lips to America’s ears, sunshine. At least she looks like a normal person tonight. There are two other songs, but it’s impossible to care. The choreography and solo spots are snore-causing, and this is from someone who loves the Motown.

Ford Spot – “Pocketful of Sunshine” – let me guess, they’re gonna drive right off into the picture. Didn’t see THAT coming at all! It’s supercalifordspecificexipobviousis.

Ruben is newly married, and geeks out pointing to the ring on camera. He really is a big teddy bear. The singing was quite fine. Hope the results live up to it.

Adam’s first to stand – after the least suspenseful pause of the show’s history, he’s safe and sits. Matt is safe OH SNAP he’s bottom three. I had it all written up the other way. Complete gobsmack, and Matt looks miffed. Kris with a K then gets his chain yanked by Ryan, but is safe.

Up together, Lil and Mike. Lil gets another chance; Mike takes his well-earned spot on the Stools of Shame next to Matt, who is steaming over this. He will have a good while to steam some more while we get through the entertaining portion of the program: Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone. Joss is buttah, friends; that’s a star right there. Hey presto, Smokey still got it. He sounds barely changed from his heyday. Really terrific duet, very well done.

OK, time to look for our final cut. *cough MEGAN cough* Allison is justly safe. Anoop still looks bored and serious, but he gets to sit back down. Super Saiyen is safe. It’s down to Scott and Megan. Both were among my four contenders but I picked Lil, thus saving her. (The Jinx is powering back up after a bit of a rest.) Aw nertz, it’s Scott. Stinkers. I feared this would happen. Megan looks astounded. If Matt is out, I predict the judges will use the save. (I wish that along with a save, the judges had a strikeout, the ability to banish one contestant.) Randy praises Scott. Matt looks like someone kicked his puppy. (I am loving how annoyed he is with sitting on Reject Row.) Ryan decides it’s cruel to keep Scott in suspense so they send him back to safety. Matt and Mike will continue to squirm.

Wonder time. It’s a medley of his own songs: My Cherie Amour, Superstition, Overjoyed, and something newer yet fairly good… All About the Love? Don’t know the title. He’s doing all right (a little shaky on Overjoyed – his songs are even hard for HIM to sing!) –

UNTIL he decided to yelp “I love you Barack Obama!” for no discernible reason.

I daresay that is the Christian attitude and it does him some credit, but dude, for reals – can’t this be apolitical? Can’t anything be free of it? I don’t care if you love him, or Palin, or Rush, or Franken, or the Lord President of Gallifrey. KEEP IT OUT OF THE SONG. Or wear a button or something, if you must. And…. Uhm…. Are the backup singers actually SINGING “Barack Obama” at the end??? Do I have that right? “Ba-rack O-ba-ma…” or it could be “All a-bout the love, a-bout the love.” I dearly hope it’s the latter. I’ve gone back three times and I hate to say it, but it certainly sounds like Barack’s name is in the lyrics. This is preposterous. I hope I’m wrong. Can’t we go half a day without this pferdkaese?

Matt is still ticked off for being down in the low-rent district, but justice finally prevails. Ricky Bobby is out. He now has to sing himself back in with “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.” It’s time to take Smokey’s advice – this is your last chance with your woman television show. “I have to sing after Stevie?” Heheheheh. I really like this guy. He’s much better during the sing-off, but he still has to bail on a not-all-that-high note. He is also doing an odd funky-dance, which is endearing like the rest but not professional grade. 2½ tops, my brother, and at least you go out on a high.

Simon is saying “no” on the panel – over and over, in fact, because it looks like the ladies are trying to pull a save out of Paula’s kooshy skirt. “It was good enough!” Kara is heard to wail. (It wasn’t.) Ryan – “We’ve got another show after this...” Hahahahaha, even he’s trying to cut off Kara’s rambling. It’s too late, the DVR has stopped.

But HAH, remember, I have married the Ladybug, whose awesome is well-documented. She’s got Kara’s number, and has also recorded the following program (Hell’s Kitchen, as it happens). We miss about 30 seconds but we do hear that Mike is confirmed out. “I don’t feel like anything I’ve done is in vain,” he says on the clip. “You can’t go wrong by getting better at who you are.” Very sweet, and very wise. He also gets to tour, so you know, good on you, Mike Sarver. Class act, indeed.

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