The following is stolen from a blogger who stole an email from his sister...
“It resonated with my very soul,” he gushed. Given that kind of press I had to read it for myself. Alas – I’d seen it before. It’s been winging around the Interweb with “FW:” stuck to the front like gum under a school desk.
It’s a little long to share with you all at one hunk, like he did, but I thought I’d have a go at providing some rebuttals… Look for the second and third thirds in a little while. For now:
“It is very tough to be a Republican in 2006, because somehow, you have to believe concurrently that:”
Hey! My manifesto is finally here! Thank the Maker – the Rove Rays have been faint lately.
1. “Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.”
Hm. All Republicans are Christians, and all Republicans “hate” homosexuals and Hilary Clinton. News to Tainted Bill, I’m sure. Let’s just confine ourselves to the Christian Republicans, then. How many hate homosexuals? Was there a poll I missed? Hilary, I could see where you get that idea, although my own point of view (being a Christian and all) is that I don’t care much for her proposals for our government. As a voter, I’m allowed that much. But hate her? I’ve never met her.
Back to gays and lesbians. I’m still trying to figure out the hate thing. Presumably it’s the assumption based on two things: Romans chapter 1 and opposition to same-sex marriage. My own observation is that the first is interpreted variously, and the second is hardly universal.
2. “The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against other nations.”
Incorrect. The highest national priority is defending the nation. Whether UN resolutions support or oppose this goal is immaterial.
3. “Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.”
Hell, I think we should have a stronger manufacturing base. Should I turn in my W bumper sticker?
4. “A woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.”
Oy. Humankind is a crappy word. Use “mankind” or “humanity,” not both at once. OH – ok, back to the fisk. How are abortion legislation and interstate commerce related? If the author is actually trying to make a point about how much profit Planned Parenthood makes from this practice, we may be going somewhere…
Anyway, I think someone’s mistaking “less regulation” with “no regulation.” There are already plenty of laws in place controlling how people conduct their business affairs. But there’s one glaring difference being glossed here – one is always free NOT to buy whatever is being offered for sale, a freedom that a child in utero does not have.
5. “Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.”
Rush bashing is fun! Apparently, the reverse is true – drug addiction is a disease deserving treatment, unless you’re Rush, in which case he ought to be driven from the airwaves. But leaving that aside - who said this? Who ever said that ONLY a few people deserve prayer? And whoever said that you can’t also pray for someone who’s gone to jail for his crimes? I mean, people prayed for Tookie Williams, right?
6. “The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.”
Silly GOP. The best way to improve military morale is to undermine support for their missions with one’s every utterance, and to spit on veterans in parades and call them baby killers!
No, no – that’s not an answer. If this accusation is true, it is shameful, especially in wartime. My search so far, however, turns up evidence (according to this site) that monthly pay has gone up from 2004 to 2005 to 2006. This is just base pay, not accounting for housing and food allowances, health benefits, and so on. Neither could I find the combat scales. We’ll have to score this one a draw until I can get more information – in fact, I may as well go begging. Cullen? Ms. Sister?
7. “Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.”
Well, I won’t cut and paste from number 5, that’s lazy. But if you checked, I think you’d find some skeletons in a lot of Democrats’ closets, as well – or in some cases, in Democrats’ cars, at the bottom of a canal.
[More? Sure, why not! Part II is now up, and part III will follow in due time…
update - ok, it's due time.]