Not a recap like normal - SarahK and Tracey have a joint effort on that front - but general impressions from watching.
(Speaking of Tracey and watching - I hear tell that the Beefy Peach won Dancing with the Stars. Congrats, Tracey!)
Adam and Kris with a K (otherwise known as Hal Sparks Jr.), all in white, like the Davids from last season's finale. Then, all the thirteen in white. Ha, even Matt's ubiquitous fedora is white. They look like Kryptonians from the opening of the first Superman movie with Brando. (Hopefully the Phantom Zone will come down and swoop off with Kara.) They all wanna start fight. I think this is a bad idea. Mike Sarver could take the other twelve by himself, I think.
NF: Who's that?
NF: Pause it. THAT guy, with the curly hair.
LB: That's the first guy sent home.
NF: Oh, yeahhhh.... Whassisface. I didn't even recognize him.
Nice to see Alexa Grace getting so much camera time, considering that she went about five weeks too early.
Hey, that was Carly Smithson? Darn. We skipped the hometown stuff on DVR because normally the hosts are completely intolerable. My bad, folks.
David Cook! My wife is quite pleased. If he formed an Idol supergroup with Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry, we'd pretty much have to follow them around on tours, like Deadheads. "Permanent," a fine song. Why can't Idol write singles like this?
Oh, the Idol Awards.... Hey, it's Pippa's little brother! Wow, some of this was so painful. I'd forgotten most of these dudes. Wild plaid jacket, dude. "American Idol - so easy, a caveman could sing it." And, the mortal lock of this segment, Nick Mitchell. Who is in the audience. Who "isn't prepared." Who immediately strips down to the Normal Gentle getup and rocks out. Actually, he's pretty funny with all of this. I didn't hate it. All is forgiven, Nick. I'm sorry I've been so horrid in the past. HAHAHAHAHA Ryan's got his red headband and giant glasses. Love it. I could totally see this as Ryan's actual sophomore year photo from gym class, in a good way.
Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah... we love the Queen around these parts. Her whole career is pretty much a "Good for her!" from the rapping to the jazz album to the acting to the Maybelline spots to being true to herself. She just seems like a decent, cool woman who just happens to be famous and talented. By the way, the Queen is demolishing Lil here. You can barely hear Lil at all when they go together - maybe she's just mouthing the words now. Poor Lil.
Kris with a K, with Keith Urban... with a K. Or something. It's good.
LB - you know, I actually would be good with either of these guys winning.
For the record - this is HUGE. My wife was a big-time Adam fan, still is, but Hal Sparks Jr. (Ladybug picked up the resemblance) opened the door just a crack... and now he's gone and kicked it down with a winning smile and open-mic vibe. And my wife has much better instincts for this sort of thing. She's always picking out Idols and Hell's Kitchen winners and Next Top Models weeks ahead of time.
Fergie comes out. She's a big girl, who doesn't cry. It's all the Black-Eyed Peas, actually. They're singing - what? Uhm... Hey, nice logo, AI. For fifteen seconds. Way too long just for a cuss word. Someone must have accidentally been flashing the goods to America or something. Or maybe it was those freaky Mummenshantz dudes in the background. They are CREEPY, people. Like the Autons or something. Fail.
Another award - Best Attitude. Alexis Cohen! "Take it! Take it! Take it! I'm going in for actressing!" They should give her this award just for last season's audition. Nope, they give it to Bikini Girl, who was frankly much more annoying than attitudinous. (It is too a word.) Gee, will she be out in a bikini? Of course! And hey, she's had some work done in a predictable place. Looks dreadful. Ladybug turns to me to ask, in horror, "Do guys really like how that looks, when they're that far apart?"
Ryan: "I was going to ask what's new, but I think I can tell." BWAHAHAHA! He is really a great host, especially for a show like this. You almost don't notice everything he brings to the table. Kara comes out to sing the song she destroyed in auditions, and rocks it completely. At least Bikini Girl's jaw is slack. Kara ends by rocking a bikini herself, which could have been a dreadful backfire, but it works. Bikini Girl is completely vanquished. Well played, Ms. dioGuardi.
Alison in a duet. Don't recognize her, missed the announcement out of the room.
LB - [incredulous] CYNDI LAUPER.
NF - oh, yeah. She acts like her, doesn't she?
Forgettable performance. We also skip most of Danny with Lionel Richie, who is dressed like an old, discount Neo. Adam fulfills his glam rock destiny by performing with both KISS and Queen on the same night. Very good, of course. Kris held his own during the Queen bit, dueting with Adam on "We Are the Champions."
Next, a comedian who loves music. No lie, I guessed Steve Martin before he came out with the banjo. One point for me. I heart Steve Martin. Hey, he wrote that song - great. Not surprising, because he is terrific and talented and his "Born Standing Up" memoir is tremendous. Again, why can't Idol have anything nearly that good as that song? "I know it's a long shot, but I hope I win," he says. Heh. I wouldn't protest.
It's Tatiana del Toro winning the last Idol Award, and doing a whole bit with eluding security and singing "Saving All My Love for You" while being chased around stage. All the most annoying people of the show are either getting a little rehab or a severe comeuppance, and I couldn't be more delighted. This is turning out to be a really solid show tonight.
One hundred million votes cast for this. Ye cats. And your American Idol is.... KRIS ALLEN! Winnah, winnah, chicken dinnah. Fireworks in Conway, Ark. They give him a fifties-style microphone trophy, which he can keep on the dashboard of his new Ford Hybrid.
LB - Hey, they gave him a trophy. Do all the other Idols get them now, too?
NF - I think they have to settle for having money, fame, and a career.
LB - You know, I'm really happy for Kris. Adam didn't really need to win Idol to have a career, he just had to do well on the show. Kris did.
That's it for the show until next January - but hopefully, you'll hear more from me here on the blog before then. Just super busy lately. But I haven't forgotten you!