Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Sundries Three

1. The print Newsweek of November 14 featured this blaring headline: "Ready or Not, Boomers Turn 60."

For heaven's sake, would you people stifle already? This is breaking news - that people age? Your parents were the Greatest Generation; get over yourselves and quit it with the breathless milestones of your own massive self-involvement. (Or not. The Nov 28 international version has a picture of John Blargin' Lennon on the cover.)

Here's a headline for you Boomers - maybe if you had won your war, we would all be happier today.

2. Speaking of which, there's more fun from Newsweek: web-only content from Eleanor Clift. "On Murtha, Iraq, and Vietnam." Because a jungle war against a well-supplied Communist satellite costing us 58,000 lives is identical to a desert/urban war against a sparse guerilla network costing us 2,000. Like, exactly like.

3. Today the Coalition of the Swilling topped 30,000 visitors. Congrats to Mr. Bingley and Ms. Sister!

4. Is it really so hard to coach? Kansas City led Houston 38-17 with about 8 minutes left in the game. Considering that your starting runner, Priest Holmes, is already lost for the year, and his backup has rushed 31 times by now, might you or I, as Chiefs head coach, rest him the rest of the way and use the third guy? But Dick Vermeil decided that Larry Johnson could run five more times anyway. He gained 35 yards and set a team single-game record on the last rush. After that, they finally sat him. Dim. The emphasis on fantasy stats and big numbers isn't healthy. Or, as Mickey Mantle said when Jose Canseco became the first man to hit 40 homers and steal 40 bases in the same season, "Hell, if I knew people would fuss about it, I'd have done it myself." Without the juice, I might add (the Mick, sadly, preferred sauce).

5. In its small way, this story is as encouraging as I can find about finding a friend in an unlikely place.

6. House arrest seems generous in this case. What's almost touchingly absurd are the quotes from the offender and her lawyer: "Fitzgibbons said in July that plea negotiations had broken off because prosecutors insisted on prison time, which he said would be too dangerous for someone as attractive as Lafave." Ahem, but isn't that what you ought to consider before you play Home Ec with a 14-year-old student? And Ms. Lafave herself allowed that she felt "tired" after the proceedings. Plenty of time to rest up now, right?

Two small thoughts: first, kudos to the judge and prosecutors for this: "Hillsborough Circuit Judge Wayne Timmerman said LaFave also will forever lose her teaching certificate, must register with the state as a sexual predator, may not have any contact with children including the victim, and will not be allowed to profit from the sale of her story or personal appearances." Can he be made bishop of the diocese of Boston?

And second, how would you like to have been this woman's new husband, cuckolded for a "younger man"?

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