Friday, December 19, 2008

A Christmas Survey

cross-posted in the comments of Tracey's post. Go there and play along!

1. Opening presents: Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
... a little of both. Christmas Eve when i visit the folks on my Dad's side of the family, and the rest the next morning at Ladybug's folks.

2. What do you do with all the paper as it’s being ripped from presents? What about the ribbon?
... we save the neat ribbon and any gift bags; we toss the rest as we go.

3. Do you take turns opening presents or is it a free-for-all?
... more turn-based than real-time.

4. Does someone act like Santa, passing out presents?
... usually.

5. Do you play Christmas music in the background whilst opening presents?
... there's Christmas music most of the time: meals, presents, etc. etc.

6. I have just given you a gift of socks. Tell me what you say to make me believe you like them, you really like them.
... actually, I probably DO really like them. I never seem to have enough socks and I hate it when my feet feel cold.

7. Do you like egg nog?
... very much.

8. Are there any other kinds of nogs that you’re aware of? If not, why not just call egg nog “nog” if it’s the only nog there is?
... actually, I think "nog" is the modifier, not the noun; there aren't different types of nog, there are different types of egg product: egg nog, egg cream, etc. Then again, my wife makes a nog punch which is maybe 25% nog, and 75% other fun things like kahlua and ice cream and coffee.

9. Are there any pre-dinner drinks or snacks available at your house on Christmas and, if so, what are they?
... they are endless. We Italians graze before we sit down for the actual meal. The items depend on who's cooking and what sounds interesting while we're planning.

10. What do you wear for Christmas dinner? If you wear elastic pants and admit it, please know I admire you deeply and may very well fall in love with you. Please do not panic.
... we tend to dress decently; not quite church best but it's an occasion and there's usually lots of relatives to look nice for. Breakfast on Christmas morning is our slouch-around shlubby-looking time.

11. If you’re not hosting the dinner, do you assist in the pre-dinner prep?
... sure do. Everyone volunteers to bring a dish.

12. If so, have you ever considered starting to play with the nearest child immediately upon your arrival at said Christmas dinner, causing him or her to REQUIRE your delightful company up until the very moment dinner is served thereby making it impossible for you to leave the little angel’s side and assist in the kitchen lest a loud, unsightly tantrum ensue? I’m just sayin’ is all. I myself would not do this, oh no, but I would not judge you should you decide to give it a whirl.
... we've got a dearth of adorable children in the family right now - the youngest of any of the cousins is 15. In a few years this may be a viable strategy.

13. What’s for Christmas dinner? Along that same vein, what time should I be there?
... to which course do you refer? There's usually some atnipasta and other hors dourves, some digestion, then a turkey, and more digestion, there's usually a lasagna or some other pasta (Italians, remember?), and then yet more digestion and probably a nap, and then pastries and coffee. Basically, show up any time after noon and you will need a wheelbarrow to get back to your car.

14. Do you have a kiddie table and will I be forced to sit there?
... see above. Even if we did, no, we would make room for you with the rest of us, and force you to talk about grownup stuff for about three minutes - or until someone quoted "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," whichever came first.

15. Who is tipsy at your Christmas dinner, besides me, of course?
... we're not inclined to the tipsy; at least, not through tasty beverage. I am pretty much permanently tipsy through natural causes, and especially at holidays.

16. Is there something that is tradition at your Christmas dinner that you cannot stand or simply do not understand?
... nothing comes to mind.

17. Turkey: White meat or dark meat?
... dark, thanks!

8. Turducken: I know what it is. I need to know why it is. Please enlighten.
... Infinitely Recursive Poultry. If anyone could answer this I'm sure a shadowy government conspiracy would chase them across the snow-covered streets, with thrills, twists, and a truly cockamamie plot device; tragically killing the wise older mentor and a couple of wassailers, before finally indulging in a pointless set-piece in front of the tree at Rockefeller Center, in which we discover the shocking, shocking truth about Frank Perdue's secret island experiments, funded by Butterball and Aflac.

19. Cranberry sauce: yea or nay?
... yea.

20. What happens after dinner? Napping? Sqaubbling? Frolf?
... is 'frolf' a hobbit or a Muppet?

21. What’s for dessert?
... Italian bakery goods, pies, and snitched leftover turkey scraps while no-one's lookin'.

22. What’s the best Christmas dessert, in your opinion?
... I'm on record as favoring my Mom's creme puffs, which were a holiday staple all the years we were kids. I may break out the old recipe this year and restart the tradition.

23. Now that it’s dessert, who is snockered? You can tell me.
... I can't. Remember that shadowy conspiracy? There's enough left for a sequel to The Turducken Code. It's called The Snockered Syndrome. We've got Denzel Washington and Charlize Theron. THIS Christmas, it's PERSONAL.

24. How many pieces/helpings of dessert do you have? Just know that whatever number you tell me, I will double it in my head to get closer to the truth, ‘mkay, Peaches?
... mmmm, peaches...

25. Will Christmas carols be sung loudly and off-key, ad nauseum, until baby Jesus cries?
... we do this at our parish a few days before Christmas. I don't know if Baby Jesus cries, but I usually do.

26. Will you be forced to pose for photos at some point by someone making their giddy artistic vision your immediate personal burden?
... well, reverse it - I'm the giddy artistic one, and everyone else just wants me to put the blergin' camera DOWN already for crying out loud.

27. Finally … Christmas day exit strategy: What’s yours?
... exit strategy? Usually we just peter out and sleep for a while.

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