Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Living the meme

Something remarkably similar to this meme kicked off the Musical Monday series here in the Hive. Since this one is much shorter I can kick it out during lunch break. If any of the answers are different than ones you've seen before, remember that I'm full of MSG and Snapple right now. Also, I'm going to try to give additional correct answers and not just crib myself.

Four songs that you could listen to over and over:
> "Classical Gas," Mason Williams
> "Archie's Theme," the Anderson Council. This is a great, fun song. If I ever get that talk show, they are going to be the very first musical guests.
> "Sign in Stranger," Steely Dan (Sorry Sharon.)
> Anything Seatbelts

Four songs that drive you up the friggin' wall:
> "In the Year 2525," Zager and Evans. I think they thought they were going to be "just like those Nights in White Satin guys," but it just sucks.
> "In the Air Tonight," Phil Collins. Mostly from overuse in sporting events. For fun, I once decided to start singing the lyrics to the tune of "Kashmir." It worked pretty well, actually.
> "To All the Girls I've Loved Before," Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias - You Were Always on My Mind has already been amply covered, so I decided to go with option number two from the Tax-Dodgin' Cowpoke.

> "Wildfire," Michael Murphy whatshisface - let's recap, here: this is a nice song about a girl and her horsie, and girls love horsies! Except that the second verse starts thus:
They say she died one winter
When there came a killing frost

Uh - er - say again?
And the pony she named Wildfire
Busted DOOOOOWWWWWN his stall
In a blizzard he was lost

And if that's not enough, the third verse ends like this:
They're coming for MEEEEEE, I know
And on Wildfire we're both gonna go...

So, to recap - happy song about girl and horsie in which everyone dies and the narrator is possessed and carried off by the vengeful spirit of the departed, perhaps to drive the devil's herd in other, better songs... all in three and a half minutes.

What the flippin' hell?!?

> Bonus - anything by Michael Bolton (thanks for the reminder, Tracey). He sucks so bad that his own perm tried to kill him on stage in front of 12,000 horrified Rotarian's Auxiliaries - the real reason he now wears his hair so short.

Four songs that you're embarrassed (or should be) to admit you like:
> "Veteran Cosmic Rocker," the Moody Blues - it's on the Long Distance Voyager album, if you must know.
> "Focus," Hocus Pocus - it's a bitching instrumental until the lead singer decides to start yodeling. You read that right. I almost hit a telephone pole with my car the first time I heard it. AND during the bridge he starts scatting, only in a Popeye voice. The whole thing is utterly ridiculous and fantastic.
> "Can't Smile Without You," Barry Manilow - just because the lyrics are at total variance with the music. The guy's supposedly miserable but the song is relentlessly cheery, from the opening whistle, building up to the happy group singalong at the end. Everyone claps along.
> "99 Luftaballon," Nina (or Lena or something) - it's the end of the world, let's go clubbing! Bonus points: listen close enough to the lyrics, and it's obvious that the narrator herself started the whole thing - it's her 99 ballons that people are shooting at. (And you're not supposed to just let balloons float off anyway, since they choke whales and seagulls and crap like that. This chick is just evil.)

Four best driving songs:
> "Radar Love," Golden Earring
> "Ride on Shooting Star," the Pillows - even in Japanese this song kicks. I just sing English lyrics I made up.
> "Summer in the City," Lovin' Spoonful
> "Right Back Where We Started From," Maxine Nightingale - I can't hear this song without seeing the Johnstown Chiefs team bus pulling out onto the road.

Four songs that make you cry:
> "Blue," Seatbelts
> "If," David Gates & Bread - I explained it before. Even talking about it kinda makes the room go a little dusty.
> "Three is a Magic Number," Bob Dorough - a man and a woman had a little baby... and Nightfly got the sniffles.
> "Cat's in the Cradle," Harry Chapin - a lot like "If" in that, besides being tough in and of itself, it also has a lot of personal effect on me.

Four best risqué songs:
> "Good Golly Miss Molly," Little Richard - holy cats.
> "Mickey," Tony Basil - they really didn't need the whole cheerleader routine video.
> "Let's Get it On," Marvin Gaye - it's a little subtler than the obvious choice.
> "Cruisin'," Smokey Robinson - if you can't score to this song, just give up. Turn in your man card and excuse yourself. A eunuch could score to this song.

Four best kid songs:
> Schoolhouse Rock in general, but to pick a few examples - Lolly Lolly Lolly, Conjunction Junction, I'm Just a Bill, Ready or Not (five ten fifteen twenty!...)
> "Where is My Hairbrush?" the VeggieTales - I was so happy to see this pop up in the comments! (Thanks Shannon!)
> "Cats on Mars," Seatbelts - it's bubbly and cute, and you don't need actual words - but again, I decided to provide them.
> "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," Mary Poppins - the biggest word you've ever heard, and I spelled it from memory. (Quite precocious.)

Four songs (hell, pick your own category and fill it in):
My category is Great Gag Songs:
> "The Bureaucrat Song," Futurama - they don't get as much credit as the Simpsons but they come up big in a big situation.
> "The Amendment Song," the Simpsons - they got Jack Sheldon to "reprise" his role for this spot-on parody of "I'm Just a Bill."
> "Beverly Hillbillies," Weird Al Yankovic - he had to show up somewhere here. Others may prefer "Yoda," but when you get Mark Knopfler to duplicate his Money for Nothing guitar solo and sing lines like "That little Clampett got his own cement pond; That little Clampett, he's a millionaire!" you get my vote.
> "Blame Canada," South Park - for itself and as representative for all the fantastic work they do.

I may have annoyed some people by leaving out Family Guy, since they do a lot of musical gags, but these just seem best to me. The meme's in your court, friends...

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