...or the dope grower next door.
From the sidewalk, the house on a sleepy cul-de-sac in Renton looked like a sweet slice of suburbia: four bedrooms, vaulted entryway, roses blooming out front.
But inside, the home was a marijuana factory. Furniture had been shoved aside to make room for banks of halogen bulbs with foil lampshades. Tubes of flexible ducting connected to an industrial-grade air scrubber. Power was diverted around the electric meter by splices direct from the main line.
In place of a family, the home's primary "occupants" were 658 marijuana plants. In a good year, the harvest would be substantial enough to pay off the mortgage on the $500,000 house and buy another home.
Growing pot indoors has old and deep roots in the green-thumbed Puget Sound area. But homes such as the one discovered in late 2005 in the hills above downtown Renton represent a new level of sophistication and scale in the lucrative cultivation of premium-grade marijuana that was once the franchise of British Columbia.
The homegrowers steal electricity so that the police can't use the electric bill to bust these guys. When you are using 10 times the juice as your neighbors, suspicions arise.
Maybe people are turning to weed because beer is getting so expensive.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
The resolution is adopted
I've often wondered what happened in the minds of the Founding Fathers on the morning of July 5, 1776.
Of course, from their point of view July 2 was the big day, so it's likely that they woke up thinking of the business of the day, and not posterity. Maybe a few woke up groggy, shuffling around the bedroom for a moment before it came back to them that they'd just signed on to one of the most shocking documents in human history. Maybe a few failed to sleep at all thinking of it. Others no doubt awoke with renewed purpose. If these 56 men were anything like their countrymen today, there was a good mix of regret, relief, apprehension, and firm determination.
And yet, on the outside, nothing was really different. Sun rose in the East again; birds sang, carriages began to roll past; the daily business of living colonial life began as it had the day before and would the day after. Washington had been in the field for months, obliging the British to quit Boston, and in turn preparing to quit Manhattan. More soldiers were on the way from England and elsewhere to oppose the Continental Army. In reply, the nascent country prepared to send embassy to the powers of Europe to implore their help. Five more years of war stood in their path, and after this, six years in which the former colonies nearly "lost the peace," to use today's big phrase.
When was the last time we marked Cornwallis' surrender in Yorktown or the ratifying of the US Constitution? I remember in 1987 there was a big deal about the 200th anniversary of the current American government, but that's about it.
The more I think about it, the more remarkable that seems. In America we do note those things, but as mileposts along the journey of the nation, and not as its departure. In the same way, the further mileposts of Abolition, Suffrage, and Civil Rights prove the strength of the idea that started us and still carries us. And the more I read the Declaration and Constitution, the remarkable logic of it becomes more plain. The colonists had already pledged their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor on the question. The Declaration is a sovereign statement of what the American country is - the Constitution (and the Articles of Confederation before it) were only a description of how that country's people chose to govern themselves. The big thing was the idea. Once it was shown what people were standing for and fighting for, everything changed. A militia fighting as British subjects for justice under the British King isn't the same as an army fighting for justice under their own law, separate from that king.
Had they failed, and the colonies of the Americas still belonged to the Crown, it would have been the death of that nation, but it wouldn't change the idea; the pledge made by those citizens of the brief-lived United States would still stand without a Constitution, and their sacred honor would live on.
That's why the United States of America celebrates the Declaration as its birthday, every year. May she have many more.
Of course, from their point of view July 2 was the big day, so it's likely that they woke up thinking of the business of the day, and not posterity. Maybe a few woke up groggy, shuffling around the bedroom for a moment before it came back to them that they'd just signed on to one of the most shocking documents in human history. Maybe a few failed to sleep at all thinking of it. Others no doubt awoke with renewed purpose. If these 56 men were anything like their countrymen today, there was a good mix of regret, relief, apprehension, and firm determination.
And yet, on the outside, nothing was really different. Sun rose in the East again; birds sang, carriages began to roll past; the daily business of living colonial life began as it had the day before and would the day after. Washington had been in the field for months, obliging the British to quit Boston, and in turn preparing to quit Manhattan. More soldiers were on the way from England and elsewhere to oppose the Continental Army. In reply, the nascent country prepared to send embassy to the powers of Europe to implore their help. Five more years of war stood in their path, and after this, six years in which the former colonies nearly "lost the peace," to use today's big phrase.
When was the last time we marked Cornwallis' surrender in Yorktown or the ratifying of the US Constitution? I remember in 1987 there was a big deal about the 200th anniversary of the current American government, but that's about it.
The more I think about it, the more remarkable that seems. In America we do note those things, but as mileposts along the journey of the nation, and not as its departure. In the same way, the further mileposts of Abolition, Suffrage, and Civil Rights prove the strength of the idea that started us and still carries us. And the more I read the Declaration and Constitution, the remarkable logic of it becomes more plain. The colonists had already pledged their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor on the question. The Declaration is a sovereign statement of what the American country is - the Constitution (and the Articles of Confederation before it) were only a description of how that country's people chose to govern themselves. The big thing was the idea. Once it was shown what people were standing for and fighting for, everything changed. A militia fighting as British subjects for justice under the British King isn't the same as an army fighting for justice under their own law, separate from that king.
Had they failed, and the colonies of the Americas still belonged to the Crown, it would have been the death of that nation, but it wouldn't change the idea; the pledge made by those citizens of the brief-lived United States would still stand without a Constitution, and their sacred honor would live on.
That's why the United States of America celebrates the Declaration as its birthday, every year. May she have many more.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Taking the Computer out of the Kid's Room...
...because of this:
TAMPA - Officer Felicia Pecora said she knew Raymond Gomez had something to hide.
It was about 6:30 p.m. Sunday when Pecora dropped by for a routine address check on Gomez, a registered sex offender who once molested girls while working as a clown. When he opened the door slightly, his eyes were "as big as saucers," Pecora said. "It put the hair up on the back of my neck."
Gomez, 52, told the officer he was naked. She told him to get dressed. Inside the apartment, "his hands were shaking," she said. "The vein in his neck was just ga-gunk, ga-gunk, ga-gunk."
The reason he was nervous, Pecora learned, was a 15-year-old girl inside his bedroom. The girl at first told police she was 18.
How do 15-year-old girls meet 52-year-old pervs? You guessed it.
Pecora and Tampa police sex-crimes Detective Eric Wilkinson said Gomez and the teenager met in an online chat room for Christians (Christians!!! - Spider). They began corresponding using their cell phones.
Guys, I love the Tampa Bay area, but it is perv central down here. Thank God I'm not a parent. I'd be jumping into a bottle of Wild Turkey by 10 am every day.
TAMPA - Officer Felicia Pecora said she knew Raymond Gomez had something to hide.
It was about 6:30 p.m. Sunday when Pecora dropped by for a routine address check on Gomez, a registered sex offender who once molested girls while working as a clown. When he opened the door slightly, his eyes were "as big as saucers," Pecora said. "It put the hair up on the back of my neck."
Gomez, 52, told the officer he was naked. She told him to get dressed. Inside the apartment, "his hands were shaking," she said. "The vein in his neck was just ga-gunk, ga-gunk, ga-gunk."
The reason he was nervous, Pecora learned, was a 15-year-old girl inside his bedroom. The girl at first told police she was 18.
How do 15-year-old girls meet 52-year-old pervs? You guessed it.
Pecora and Tampa police sex-crimes Detective Eric Wilkinson said Gomez and the teenager met in an online chat room for Christians (Christians!!! - Spider). They began corresponding using their cell phones.
Guys, I love the Tampa Bay area, but it is perv central down here. Thank God I'm not a parent. I'd be jumping into a bottle of Wild Turkey by 10 am every day.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Don't worry, we still have the Ice Girls
Let me see.
Ryan Smyth - to Colorado.
Jason Blake - to Toronto.
Tom Poti and Viktor Kozlov - to Washington.
Alexei Yashin - bought out.
Not for nothing, but that's 92 goals that just walked out the door. And Gomez, Drury, Briere, Paul Kariya, Scott Hannan, Brian Rafalski, Matheiu Schneider... hell, just about everybody else - off the market.
Oh, but the Islanders signed this guy. Jon FREAKIN' Sim, 52 career goals in eight seasons. The Islanders are his NINTH team, and he isn't even 30 yet.
To recap - the Islanders second line is now Miro Satan, Randy "Not Luc" Robitaille, and Trent Hunter. Their third line is Sim (or Richard Park), Arron Asham, and Mike Sillinger. Their fourth line is Frans Neilsen (who escaped from an SNL sketch, apparently), Steve Regier, and Jeff Tambellini.
There is no first line. The only other forward on the entire roster is Shawn Bates, coming off four goals and six assists in 48 games. The Isles had no first-round draft pick this year; last year's guy, Kyle Okposo, is looking smarter than ever for staying in college. I'm going to go home, get totally sloshed, and watch the '80 finals on YouTube about forty times.
Ryan Smyth - to Colorado.
Jason Blake - to Toronto.
Tom Poti and Viktor Kozlov - to Washington.
Alexei Yashin - bought out.
Not for nothing, but that's 92 goals that just walked out the door. And Gomez, Drury, Briere, Paul Kariya, Scott Hannan, Brian Rafalski, Matheiu Schneider... hell, just about everybody else - off the market.
Oh, but the Islanders signed this guy. Jon FREAKIN' Sim, 52 career goals in eight seasons. The Islanders are his NINTH team, and he isn't even 30 yet.
To recap - the Islanders second line is now Miro Satan, Randy "Not Luc" Robitaille, and Trent Hunter. Their third line is Sim (or Richard Park), Arron Asham, and Mike Sillinger. Their fourth line is Frans Neilsen (who escaped from an SNL sketch, apparently), Steve Regier, and Jeff Tambellini.
There is no first line. The only other forward on the entire roster is Shawn Bates, coming off four goals and six assists in 48 games. The Isles had no first-round draft pick this year; last year's guy, Kyle Okposo, is looking smarter than ever for staying in college. I'm going to go home, get totally sloshed, and watch the '80 finals on YouTube about forty times.
I'm going to get in trouble for this
It wasn't until I moved from Jersey to Tampa that I found out what this was.
Fly, in all seriousness if this crosses the line remove it or have me do it.
Fly, in all seriousness if this crosses the line remove it or have me do it.
Am I paranoid?
Or does an incident like thishappen in the Tampa Bay area a few days after every successful or botched Islamoterrorist attack?
The Tampa chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) says a man attacked a Muslim woman and assaulted her with racial slurs in Tampa.Sabura Rashad, who wears and Islamic head scarf, claims the unprovoked attack happened Saturday while she was working at her yard sale at the Lamplighter on the River mobile home park.She says one of her neighbors, Tom Poyma, drove up and told her to go back to her country. She says he called her names, cursed at her, and tried to run her over.The mother of three says she felt scared for her and her baby."It was terrifying," said Rashad, 33. "It was humiliating. I responded that I was born in this county. I was born in Detroit, Michigan."However, neighbor David Calvert says it wasn't a hate crime."It's just an argument that blew up out of proportion," said Calvert. "If you're [going to] say every argument between different races is a hate crime, that's just ridiculous."So far, authorities haven't filed any charges in connection with the incident, but Bay News 9's newspaper partner, the St. Petersburg Times, says the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office will hand the case over to the state attorney's office for further investigation. CAIR is calling for hate crime charges to be filed.
I'll just come right out with it: I don't believe this woman or CAIR. I think CAIR pulls this crap to regain victim status after their terrorist pals do something naughty. Maybe if CAIR could explain why they are an unindicted co-conspirator in this terrorist funding case, or explain why, when their membership fell 90% in the past five years to less than 1700 dues-paying members @ $25 per year, they have a budget of $3 million. Where's the sugar daddies? Oman? Saudi Arabia?
The local media here kisses CAIR's tush. The above questions will never be asked of them.
Hey, how about try this?
It looks like if hundreds of thousands of people scream the same thing to their senators that someone would probably listen up.
Both gloat and glum hang over Washington after last week's Senate defeat of the immigration bill. But now what? Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff has the best answer: Enforce current laws, however imperfect they may be.
"To regain the credibility with the American people that has been squandered over 30 years, we're going to have to be tough," he said, after losing a months-long struggle on Capitol Hill to pass immigration reform. ( Ya think? - Spider.)
The squandering he refers to is the unfulfilled promise by several presidents to treat illegal immigrants with justice – and fairness.
The justice lies in better securing the border, timely deportation of those who break immigration laws, and sustained enforcement of laws against the hiring of illegal workers and against the forging of identification documents.
Frauenmangel
This is nicht gut:
What's it been, fifteen years since die Einheit? And the former East Germany is still a messed up place.
What's also messed up is that I don't know how to get back to the margin after making this indentaion for the quote. Help! Fly!
A NEW disease is abroad in eastern Germany: Frauenmangel, lack of women. In some towns there are only 75 young women for every 100 young men. In one or two there are as few as 40. The effects are worrying, not only because populations may shrink but also because of the existence of a growing underclass of young men who are partnerless, underqualified and jobless.
A study by the Berlin Institute for Population and Development has looked at Herzberg and Ebersbach, two small towns in eastern Germany. “Even the mayor of Ebersbach hadn't realised this is going on,” says Reiner Klingholz, the institute's director. It is a vicious spiral. Girls are more studious than boys, so they get better qualified and migrate west to find both partners and jobs. The boys lack role models at home, where fathers are often unemployed, and at school, where teachers are mostly female. Young men now account for 65% of German high-school dropouts.
The few women who stay prefer single parenthood to hitching themselves to useless partners—benefits for single mothers are generous. It is women who are now masters of their destinies. The study, which combines reportage with figures, tells of frustrated gangs of youths drinking outside supermarkets and sleeping on their loading ramps.
What's it been, fifteen years since die Einheit? And the former East Germany is still a messed up place.
What's also messed up is that I don't know how to get back to the margin after making this indentaion for the quote. Help! Fly!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Sharia in the Magic Kingdom
The term "culture war" took on a whole new meaning on Al Aqsa today:
Gaza Strip -- A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was beaten to death in the show's final episode Friday.
That Walt, always the pioneer.
In the final skit, "Farfour" was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour's land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a "terrorist."
The original ending had Farfour sitting with Minnie and Donald at a Sbarro's in Damascus, nervously eyeing several customers while Daisy struggled to park outside - and then, cut to black.
"Farfour was martyred while defending his land," said Sara, the teen presenter. He was killed "by the killers of children," she added.
Uhm... isn't Sara a Jewish name? Some geniuses they have over there at Al Aqsa.
Station officials said Friday that Farfour was taken off the air to make room for new programs. Station manager Mohammed Bilal said he did not know what would be shown instead.
What else but the public beheading of Goofy and Pluto, the unclean dogs?
All snark aside, this would be ridiculous, except that it shows the depths to which the terrorists will sink in order to fight this war. Over here we are constantly contorting ourselves to come up with examples of individual Muslims or groups that are not murderous bastards - and truth be told, there are some. They are usually ignored because many of them think we ought to take up arms in order to permanently defeat the murderous bastards. They write under assumed names and stay in hiding lest someone carry out a fatwa for their head on a pike.
Now, as a nation we can respond by bringing a copyright action against Al Aqsa, or dropping ordinance on Hamas until they decide that murderous bastardry has a dim future.
As harsh as option B sounds, consider that option A, even if successful, does nothing to help stop the war. Consider that while we wring our hands, generations of Palestinian children are encouraged to root for a plucky icon, come to trust everything he says about the "killers of children," and then beaten to death by one of those killers as they watch in horror. Can anyone doubt how effective this is? The message is unmistakable - you will be next, kid, unless you join the jihad.
Unless this cycle is broken, we will have to fight this war over and over again, on increasingly worse ground, both tactically (as terrorists make or are given victories) and intellectually (as the lies become long-established, "accepted wisdom"). War will seem at first to confirm everything these kids have heard since birth about the West: until the war is actually over, and they can see for themselves that their homes will be rebuilt, their schools re-opened, their religion respected, and their lives generally improved many times over. They will be able to see and compare for themselves life as expendable pawns of their own religion and families, and life as free people at peace with their neighbors. Unless we fight and win, they will never have the chance nor will they ever know the difference.
Gaza Strip -- A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was beaten to death in the show's final episode Friday.
That Walt, always the pioneer.
In the final skit, "Farfour" was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour's land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a "terrorist."
The original ending had Farfour sitting with Minnie and Donald at a Sbarro's in Damascus, nervously eyeing several customers while Daisy struggled to park outside - and then, cut to black.
"Farfour was martyred while defending his land," said Sara, the teen presenter. He was killed "by the killers of children," she added.
Uhm... isn't Sara a Jewish name? Some geniuses they have over there at Al Aqsa.
Station officials said Friday that Farfour was taken off the air to make room for new programs. Station manager Mohammed Bilal said he did not know what would be shown instead.
What else but the public beheading of Goofy and Pluto, the unclean dogs?
All snark aside, this would be ridiculous, except that it shows the depths to which the terrorists will sink in order to fight this war. Over here we are constantly contorting ourselves to come up with examples of individual Muslims or groups that are not murderous bastards - and truth be told, there are some. They are usually ignored because many of them think we ought to take up arms in order to permanently defeat the murderous bastards. They write under assumed names and stay in hiding lest someone carry out a fatwa for their head on a pike.
Now, as a nation we can respond by bringing a copyright action against Al Aqsa, or dropping ordinance on Hamas until they decide that murderous bastardry has a dim future.
As harsh as option B sounds, consider that option A, even if successful, does nothing to help stop the war. Consider that while we wring our hands, generations of Palestinian children are encouraged to root for a plucky icon, come to trust everything he says about the "killers of children," and then beaten to death by one of those killers as they watch in horror. Can anyone doubt how effective this is? The message is unmistakable - you will be next, kid, unless you join the jihad.
Unless this cycle is broken, we will have to fight this war over and over again, on increasingly worse ground, both tactically (as terrorists make or are given victories) and intellectually (as the lies become long-established, "accepted wisdom"). War will seem at first to confirm everything these kids have heard since birth about the West: until the war is actually over, and they can see for themselves that their homes will be rebuilt, their schools re-opened, their religion respected, and their lives generally improved many times over. They will be able to see and compare for themselves life as expendable pawns of their own religion and families, and life as free people at peace with their neighbors. Unless we fight and win, they will never have the chance nor will they ever know the difference.
Welcome to Downing Street
Gordon Brown is on the job all of 48 hours and wakes up to this.
"Apparent" meaning "It may just have been an innocent need for gas cylinders, nails, and a detonator among the flourishing Freelance Construction community near Picadilly."
Hey, did you say New York, the York that happens to be over in our country, the country that seems determined to fail to patrol and defend its southern border? That New York that was already attacked once?
Mr. Prime Minister, sir, the quote is "eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." A few days' vigilance is the price of impending slavery. It would be nice if the West would quit hitting the snooze button on the War and fight to win, instead.
Earlier Friday, police said they thwarted an apparent terror attack near Piccadilly Circus, after finding a car loaded with gas cylinders, nails and a detonator after an ambulance crew reported seeing smoke coming from the vehicle.
The explosives were powerful enough to have caused “significant injury or loss of life” — possibly killing hundreds in an area famed for its nightlife, British anti-terror police chief Peter Clarke said.
"Apparent" meaning "It may just have been an innocent need for gas cylinders, nails, and a detonator among the flourishing Freelance Construction community near Picadilly."
A British security official told The Associated Press, ... on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the information, [that] Britain’s domestic spy agency MI5 also would examine possible connections between the bomb attempt and at least two similar foiled plots — including a planned attack on a West End nightclub in 2004 and a thwarted attempt to use limousines packed with gas canisters to attack targets in London and New York.
Hey, did you say New York, the York that happens to be over in our country, the country that seems determined to fail to patrol and defend its southern border? That New York that was already attacked once?
Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who took office on Wednesday, said the foiled bombing was a reminder that Britain faces a serious and continuous threat of terrorist attacks and that people should be alert.
“I will stress to the Cabinet that the vigilance must be maintained over the next few days,” Brown said.
Mr. Prime Minister, sir, the quote is "eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." A few days' vigilance is the price of impending slavery. It would be nice if the West would quit hitting the snooze button on the War and fight to win, instead.
This Parrot is Dead!
It's not pining for the fjords, or asleep - but DEAD!
You readers know what was in the immigration bill, and the manner in which it was thrust upon us. Here's my post-mortem:
1. McCain's presidential campaign is like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense; He's dead, but he doesn't know it yet.
2. McCainkisser Lindsey Grahamnesty's approval ratings are @ 31% in his home state. He will get a primary challenge.
3. I changed my voter registration from the GOP to No Party Affilliation when former Labor Secretary Linda Chavez called me a racist. No more working phone banks or going to rallies or standing on street corners with signs. I will never again hold my nose to vote for some RINO.
4. The only way my hand presses the ballot screen for my Senator and McCainkisser Mel Martinez in 2010 is for it to be first hacked off my arm.
5. This circus hurt the war in Iraq. In September when the report on the surge is due, the president will need every friend he can get. And he lost quite a few this month.
6. According to Rush, GOP senators were told by their Dem counterparts to go ahead and vote for Cloture, that they would take care of talk radio. Expect some GOP senators (Trent Lott, McCain, Grahamnesty, Martinez) to back some form of the Fairness Doctrine AKA The Hush Rush Bill.
Damned right the Sisko is angry! My eyes are opened. These arrogant SOBs don't give a rat's toenail about the clear will of the people who put them in office. Remember this when these votewhores ask to be re-elected. I sure will.
You readers know what was in the immigration bill, and the manner in which it was thrust upon us. Here's my post-mortem:
1. McCain's presidential campaign is like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense; He's dead, but he doesn't know it yet.
2. McCainkisser Lindsey Grahamnesty's approval ratings are @ 31% in his home state. He will get a primary challenge.
3. I changed my voter registration from the GOP to No Party Affilliation when former Labor Secretary Linda Chavez called me a racist. No more working phone banks or going to rallies or standing on street corners with signs. I will never again hold my nose to vote for some RINO.
4. The only way my hand presses the ballot screen for my Senator and McCainkisser Mel Martinez in 2010 is for it to be first hacked off my arm.
5. This circus hurt the war in Iraq. In September when the report on the surge is due, the president will need every friend he can get. And he lost quite a few this month.
6. According to Rush, GOP senators were told by their Dem counterparts to go ahead and vote for Cloture, that they would take care of talk radio. Expect some GOP senators (Trent Lott, McCain, Grahamnesty, Martinez) to back some form of the Fairness Doctrine AKA The Hush Rush Bill.
Damned right the Sisko is angry! My eyes are opened. These arrogant SOBs don't give a rat's toenail about the clear will of the people who put them in office. Remember this when these votewhores ask to be re-elected. I sure will.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Chattin' with Joe
[UPDATE - all the way down at the bottom, I screwed up. Takashi Saito is 37, not 27 - don't know how I misread his player bio, but it happened. I asterisked it twice to emphasize my nitwittery.]
Or, chatting in the place of Joe. [Link goes to the decidedly not-Morgan friendly FJM, since ESPN restricts the chat transcripts to Insider members. Both his original comments and the requisite fisking are there. As always, I cut and paste the questions here, answer them, and then read up later.]
Matt (Watertown, NY): Where do you put the blame for the fall of the White Sox this year? I'm blaming injuries for our demise.. Erstad, Podsednik, Crede, and Dye have been injured, hurting our offense!
NF: No doubt, but the injuries are a symptom of larger issues – the ChiSox are getting old. Thome and Dye are beginning to decline, Joe Crede is coming back to level after a career season, Erstad and Podsednik… well, truth be told Matt, they’re not that good right now. They still have the heart but not the skills to be regulars in the lineup. Also, Chicago plays in a tough division. They had to get better just to keep up with Detroit, Cleveland, and Minnesota; they got worse instead.
Brent S. (fjm): Why are the yankees so up and down ths season? also what are your thoughts on the rocket coming in relief?
[First - note that nifty "fjm" there. Nice shout-out. Brent asks a number of these today.]
NF: The pitching isn’t there for them. Mussina is looking poor, the young guys are hurt or not ready, and even Wang and Pettitte make their fielders work since neither of them is a big strikeout pitcher. It’s constant pressure. As a result, they work harder to get the same outs. Part two of your question is related. Clemens’ relief appearance is a giant neon sign hanging in the Yankee bullpen – We Are Overworked. Proctor, Farnsworth, Vizcaino, and etc. are all seeing more innings than is wise, and pitching poorly in those innings.
Zach (Montezuma, IA): What will the Padres get out of Barrett?
NF: Improved offense, for one. It’s a calculated risk on their part. I think the Cubs cut ties because you can’t have your starting catcher punching out your best pitchers (or getting punched out by them). Barrett knows this and I think that he’ll be on his best behavior because of the extra scrutiny that will follow him (even to San Diego). He can’t risk being seen in a shoving or shouting match with Jake Peavy or Chris Young, or his career will be seriously damaged.
Will (Lexington, KY): the reds have young talent for sure, but can they become contenders with the management they have right now?
NF: Tough to say. Of course, that question will determine what they can get for Junior in a trade… and it’s hard to say until the trade happens how bright the future might be for Cincy. If they only get middle prospects or average players, the answer’s obviously No. If they can bring over a strong prospect and a young current star in a deal for him to a deep contender, then you can be more confident. Thing is, their moves recently haven’t been terrible. I’m hopeful for a turnaround in a couple of years, especially if they can build around Dunn and Hamilton’s bats.
Brent S. (fjm): Are the braves dead?
NF: Not remotely. (Full disclosure – I am a very nervous Mets fan.) I like their young hitters, and they’ll get Chipper up to full speed in a couple of weeks and threaten for the Wild Card at least. As the recent Met slide shows, nobody is a lock in the NL East this year. If the Braves manage a deal for another pitcher, they are a good candidate for the postseason.
Brent S. (fjm): is sammy sosa a hall of famer?
NF: I would vote no. The doping has one side-effect nobody can ignore: stat inflation. Even 500 homers isn’t the milestone it used to be when there are 50 players every season who can hit 2o homers. And it snowballs – in “Game of Shadows” Barry Bonds is shown saying, in effect, that if McGwire and Sosa can get away with obvious juicing, and get the respect I never had simply for being great, then I’m juicing too. Soon guys like Rey Ordonez are juicing too, just to try to hang on in a sport increasingly compromised by inflated power numbers.
NF: Once upon a time, Sosa would have been a prized player – at his peak it’s not hard to see him roping 45 doubles, 25 or 30 (legit) HRs, hitting.280 or so, stealing 15 or 20 bases, and playing a pretty good corner outfield. Not enough now: and he’s one of the guys whose tainted success is directly responsible. I’m going to say no.
mvp (mvpland): will ken griffey jr. get traded if so what team?
NF: He can veto any deal, so a move is going to be more difficult – probably why the media have Dunn on the block every second Tuesday, instead of Griffey. But I think it does get done. In Seattle Griff let slip that he would like to play some meaningful baseball while he still has a couple of productive years remaining. The Reds will try to get it done, for his sake and theirs. Minnesota would make sense; I could even see him going to Boston, with the Sox splitting him in CF and RF, sitting either Drew or Crisp (or sending one of them in return) depending on the circumstances. One of the NL West teams may bite in an effort to separate from the logjam at the top of the table.
Shawn Dayton Ohio: What do the indians need to do before the trading deadline to help them make the final push to the world series
NF: Most teams could use another starter. The Sowers/Westbrook combo has been dreadful for Cleveland. The White Sox would never send Contreras or Buehrle to a division rival, though, so it’s hard to see who the Indians could get. Maybe, perhaps, Dontrelle Willis for the right package.
NF: Oh, and it would help if Josh Barfield could learn to draw the occasional walk.
Bob (Brooklyn): What's more important to evaluate a pitcher: Wins or ERA?
NF: ERA. Thirty years ago, when pitchers regularly finished a third or half of their starts, wins weren’t a bad single-digit stat, but the modern bullpen has made it nearly meaningless. I mean, in ’86 Nolan Ryan led the league in ERA and went 8-16 because the Astros scored less than AC Green. ERA isn’t as bad for a starter because you get to see how much the offense has to do to get a win for the team whenever that pitcher takes the ball.
NF: On a related rant – some stats have to be totally revamped for pitchers, especially relievers. Take the Cubs/Rockies game recently: up five runs in the ninth, Eyre and Howry combine to nearly blow the game – but Soriano bails them out. Who gets the win? Believe it or not, it’s Bobby Howry, with this pathetic line: 1 IP, 3 ER on 3 hits – and two inherited runners scored (both charged to Eyre). Now, granted that Scott Eyre wasn’t at his best, but he came in with two men on in the seventh and stranded them both. Wouldn’t he have been a better choice for a win than Howry, who came in with a four-run cushion and left trailing? For that matter Mike Wuertz tossed a scoreless inning of relief and stranded two inherited runners in the sixth. He gets a HOLD. Quick – who leads major league baseball in holds? (Answer below.)
Jason (Michigan): Hi Fly. Do you think the Tigers will be able to get some breathing room from the Indians in the central? These teams have been 2 games apart from each other for 2 months and it's clear that the Tigers are the better team all around.
NF: One thing the Tigers have that the Indians don’t is more depth to make deals to strengthen their team. They’re tied in the standings this morning and that’s with Cleveland getting reduced production from Sizemore and Hafner, and almost nothing from their fourth and fifth starters. I see that division going to the wire, unless Detroit can shore up their bullpen a bit (it’s their weakest department right now).
Pat ((Ontario,CA)): Do you think Russell Martin is one the best catchers in the game?
NF: He’s playing well right now – and what’s more, a lot of the “name” catchers of the past ten years aren’t around, or aren’t playing well, except for Jorge Posada. You can’t just pencil in Piazza, Javy Lopez, and Ivan Rodriguez on an All-Star ballot like you could for years and years. So yes, this season he’s been very good, especially in the National League where the field isn't as crowded. All the other raking backstops (Mauer, Posada, Victor Martinez, even Joe Buck) are in the AL.
Mike, Rockaway Beach: What team(s) do you like to watch during the week when you aren't working the Sunday night games?
NF: The Mets, as a fan. Honestly, I keep up more through reading and highlights, since I have a day job. (Gee, isn’t it fun to answer other people’s mail?)
Kyle (Kansas): What is the most overated stat in baseball?
NF: THE SAVE. Criminy, it’s useless.
Chad (Austin, TX): Fly, How come you never got into coaching or managing?
[Boy, some of these questions are weird when you don't ask a Hall-of-Fame second baseman.]
NF: I used to coach youth roller hockey. I ref games. Had a doozie last night, actually. I'm guessing you asked because of the recent article on Ryne Sandberg managing in the minors.
Greg (Palatine, IL): Do you think Beurhle going to the Red Sox would be a good move for Boston?
NF: Lefties have to be careful in Boston because of the Green Monster – lazy fly balls become doubles and homers out there. Now, Beurhle has been keeping men off base (1.05 WHIP) and has more ground-outs than fly-outs, so it may be a risk Boston takes if they aren’t going to get Schilling back in good form.
Billy (Michigan): Hey Fly, Who is your MVP for the AL and NL?
NF: Alex Rodriguez has to get consideration because he’s pasting everything in sight. Magglio Ordonez and CC Sabathia have been the best players on first-place teams. Haren's been awesome, but for no real logical reason I think he's more a Cy Young candidate than MVP. In the NL, there’s Jose Reyes, who is in the middle of nearly everything the Mets do, and Prince Fielder is raking. Lots of guys having strong seasons in the NL, actually: Griffey and Dunn; Miguel Cabrera and Dan Uggla in Florida; Bonds has to mentioned, asterisk or not; Chipper Jones, if he can get more plate appearances, may get some notice (1.002 OPS in 54 games).
Bill (Chicago): How come there is so much parity these days?
NF: I’m going to go ahead and disagree with you on that, Bill. Less than halfway through the season, every single division has at least a ten game gap between first and last place. Half the divisions have at least a six-game gap between first and second. Two of the six have second place teams at or below .500. Ten different teams are on pace to lose at least 90 times. Then there’s Boston, Milwaukee, both LA teams, Cleveland and Detroit, the Mets… Toss in San Diego and Arizona, who are both playing well. That’s nine candidates for our two pennant winners. And despite that disparity, we have three very good division races and some heat in both wild card chases.
Fred (Atlanta): Who's the best hitter in the game today?
NF: His name is Alex Rodriguez. He’s a third baseman, playing for the New York Yankees. He is currently the Chuck Norris of hitting. A-Rod didn’t actually hit his last home run – he just glared at the pitch and it hid behind the outfield wall. He once hit a pitch so hard, it went back in time and he drove in Thurman Munson. (You get the idea.)
NF: Pujols has the track record, and is coming around, but nobody’s doing better than Rodriguez right now.
[And your trivia answer? "Who cares." There are probably general managers who don't know how many holds their own pitchers have - on the Official MLB site, you have to hit "Next Stats" TWICE to find "holds" on their stat pages. But the player is Milwaukee's Derrick Turnbow, with 21 holds (and one save) in 25 total opportunities. The rest of the top five are-
Steve Shields, LAA, 19 (and 2 saves) in 25 tries
Jonathan Broxton, LAD, 17 (and 1 save) in 21 tries
Brandon Lyon, ARZ, 17 (and 2 saves) in 23 tries
Tony Pena, ARZ, 16 (and 1 save) in 20 tries
I included saves even though they're silly because when you blow the hold, it counts as a blown save, not a blown hold - so useless or not, they have to stay. Notice that the guys leading in holds are all key pitchers on first-place contending teams - and notice, via this comparison, how the other metrics stack up. Shields and Pena give up fewer than one baserunner per inning; Turnbow's ERA is sort of high but so is his K/9 IP. In general these are guys going into higher-pressure situations than their closers and getting the job done.
Those closers are doing well, too - Saito's got 41 K and only 3 BB, holy crow - but it doesn't always work that way, as Joe Borowski or Todd Jones could tell you. And notice how young those guys are. Only Cordero is older than 27.** Unless a pitcher is just lights-out dominant like he's been, he's largely wasted as a closer instead of a rally-killer.]
Or, chatting in the place of Joe. [Link goes to the decidedly not-Morgan friendly FJM, since ESPN restricts the chat transcripts to Insider members. Both his original comments and the requisite fisking are there. As always, I cut and paste the questions here, answer them, and then read up later.]
Matt (Watertown, NY): Where do you put the blame for the fall of the White Sox this year? I'm blaming injuries for our demise.. Erstad, Podsednik, Crede, and Dye have been injured, hurting our offense!
NF: No doubt, but the injuries are a symptom of larger issues – the ChiSox are getting old. Thome and Dye are beginning to decline, Joe Crede is coming back to level after a career season, Erstad and Podsednik… well, truth be told Matt, they’re not that good right now. They still have the heart but not the skills to be regulars in the lineup. Also, Chicago plays in a tough division. They had to get better just to keep up with Detroit, Cleveland, and Minnesota; they got worse instead.
Brent S. (fjm): Why are the yankees so up and down ths season? also what are your thoughts on the rocket coming in relief?
[First - note that nifty "fjm" there. Nice shout-out. Brent asks a number of these today.]
NF: The pitching isn’t there for them. Mussina is looking poor, the young guys are hurt or not ready, and even Wang and Pettitte make their fielders work since neither of them is a big strikeout pitcher. It’s constant pressure. As a result, they work harder to get the same outs. Part two of your question is related. Clemens’ relief appearance is a giant neon sign hanging in the Yankee bullpen – We Are Overworked. Proctor, Farnsworth, Vizcaino, and etc. are all seeing more innings than is wise, and pitching poorly in those innings.
Zach (Montezuma, IA): What will the Padres get out of Barrett?
NF: Improved offense, for one. It’s a calculated risk on their part. I think the Cubs cut ties because you can’t have your starting catcher punching out your best pitchers (or getting punched out by them). Barrett knows this and I think that he’ll be on his best behavior because of the extra scrutiny that will follow him (even to San Diego). He can’t risk being seen in a shoving or shouting match with Jake Peavy or Chris Young, or his career will be seriously damaged.
Will (Lexington, KY): the reds have young talent for sure, but can they become contenders with the management they have right now?
NF: Tough to say. Of course, that question will determine what they can get for Junior in a trade… and it’s hard to say until the trade happens how bright the future might be for Cincy. If they only get middle prospects or average players, the answer’s obviously No. If they can bring over a strong prospect and a young current star in a deal for him to a deep contender, then you can be more confident. Thing is, their moves recently haven’t been terrible. I’m hopeful for a turnaround in a couple of years, especially if they can build around Dunn and Hamilton’s bats.
Brent S. (fjm): Are the braves dead?
NF: Not remotely. (Full disclosure – I am a very nervous Mets fan.) I like their young hitters, and they’ll get Chipper up to full speed in a couple of weeks and threaten for the Wild Card at least. As the recent Met slide shows, nobody is a lock in the NL East this year. If the Braves manage a deal for another pitcher, they are a good candidate for the postseason.
Brent S. (fjm): is sammy sosa a hall of famer?
NF: I would vote no. The doping has one side-effect nobody can ignore: stat inflation. Even 500 homers isn’t the milestone it used to be when there are 50 players every season who can hit 2o homers. And it snowballs – in “Game of Shadows” Barry Bonds is shown saying, in effect, that if McGwire and Sosa can get away with obvious juicing, and get the respect I never had simply for being great, then I’m juicing too. Soon guys like Rey Ordonez are juicing too, just to try to hang on in a sport increasingly compromised by inflated power numbers.
NF: Once upon a time, Sosa would have been a prized player – at his peak it’s not hard to see him roping 45 doubles, 25 or 30 (legit) HRs, hitting.280 or so, stealing 15 or 20 bases, and playing a pretty good corner outfield. Not enough now: and he’s one of the guys whose tainted success is directly responsible. I’m going to say no.
mvp (mvpland): will ken griffey jr. get traded if so what team?
NF: He can veto any deal, so a move is going to be more difficult – probably why the media have Dunn on the block every second Tuesday, instead of Griffey. But I think it does get done. In Seattle Griff let slip that he would like to play some meaningful baseball while he still has a couple of productive years remaining. The Reds will try to get it done, for his sake and theirs. Minnesota would make sense; I could even see him going to Boston, with the Sox splitting him in CF and RF, sitting either Drew or Crisp (or sending one of them in return) depending on the circumstances. One of the NL West teams may bite in an effort to separate from the logjam at the top of the table.
Shawn Dayton Ohio: What do the indians need to do before the trading deadline to help them make the final push to the world series
NF: Most teams could use another starter. The Sowers/Westbrook combo has been dreadful for Cleveland. The White Sox would never send Contreras or Buehrle to a division rival, though, so it’s hard to see who the Indians could get. Maybe, perhaps, Dontrelle Willis for the right package.
NF: Oh, and it would help if Josh Barfield could learn to draw the occasional walk.
Bob (Brooklyn): What's more important to evaluate a pitcher: Wins or ERA?
NF: ERA. Thirty years ago, when pitchers regularly finished a third or half of their starts, wins weren’t a bad single-digit stat, but the modern bullpen has made it nearly meaningless. I mean, in ’86 Nolan Ryan led the league in ERA and went 8-16 because the Astros scored less than AC Green. ERA isn’t as bad for a starter because you get to see how much the offense has to do to get a win for the team whenever that pitcher takes the ball.
NF: On a related rant – some stats have to be totally revamped for pitchers, especially relievers. Take the Cubs/Rockies game recently: up five runs in the ninth, Eyre and Howry combine to nearly blow the game – but Soriano bails them out. Who gets the win? Believe it or not, it’s Bobby Howry, with this pathetic line: 1 IP, 3 ER on 3 hits – and two inherited runners scored (both charged to Eyre). Now, granted that Scott Eyre wasn’t at his best, but he came in with two men on in the seventh and stranded them both. Wouldn’t he have been a better choice for a win than Howry, who came in with a four-run cushion and left trailing? For that matter Mike Wuertz tossed a scoreless inning of relief and stranded two inherited runners in the sixth. He gets a HOLD. Quick – who leads major league baseball in holds? (Answer below.)
Jason (Michigan): Hi Fly. Do you think the Tigers will be able to get some breathing room from the Indians in the central? These teams have been 2 games apart from each other for 2 months and it's clear that the Tigers are the better team all around.
NF: One thing the Tigers have that the Indians don’t is more depth to make deals to strengthen their team. They’re tied in the standings this morning and that’s with Cleveland getting reduced production from Sizemore and Hafner, and almost nothing from their fourth and fifth starters. I see that division going to the wire, unless Detroit can shore up their bullpen a bit (it’s their weakest department right now).
Pat ((Ontario,CA)): Do you think Russell Martin is one the best catchers in the game?
NF: He’s playing well right now – and what’s more, a lot of the “name” catchers of the past ten years aren’t around, or aren’t playing well, except for Jorge Posada. You can’t just pencil in Piazza, Javy Lopez, and Ivan Rodriguez on an All-Star ballot like you could for years and years. So yes, this season he’s been very good, especially in the National League where the field isn't as crowded. All the other raking backstops (Mauer, Posada, Victor Martinez, even Joe Buck) are in the AL.
Mike, Rockaway Beach: What team(s) do you like to watch during the week when you aren't working the Sunday night games?
NF: The Mets, as a fan. Honestly, I keep up more through reading and highlights, since I have a day job. (Gee, isn’t it fun to answer other people’s mail?)
Kyle (Kansas): What is the most overated stat in baseball?
NF: THE SAVE. Criminy, it’s useless.
Chad (Austin, TX): Fly, How come you never got into coaching or managing?
[Boy, some of these questions are weird when you don't ask a Hall-of-Fame second baseman.]
NF: I used to coach youth roller hockey. I ref games. Had a doozie last night, actually. I'm guessing you asked because of the recent article on Ryne Sandberg managing in the minors.
Greg (Palatine, IL): Do you think Beurhle going to the Red Sox would be a good move for Boston?
NF: Lefties have to be careful in Boston because of the Green Monster – lazy fly balls become doubles and homers out there. Now, Beurhle has been keeping men off base (1.05 WHIP) and has more ground-outs than fly-outs, so it may be a risk Boston takes if they aren’t going to get Schilling back in good form.
Billy (Michigan): Hey Fly, Who is your MVP for the AL and NL?
NF: Alex Rodriguez has to get consideration because he’s pasting everything in sight. Magglio Ordonez and CC Sabathia have been the best players on first-place teams. Haren's been awesome, but for no real logical reason I think he's more a Cy Young candidate than MVP. In the NL, there’s Jose Reyes, who is in the middle of nearly everything the Mets do, and Prince Fielder is raking. Lots of guys having strong seasons in the NL, actually: Griffey and Dunn; Miguel Cabrera and Dan Uggla in Florida; Bonds has to mentioned, asterisk or not; Chipper Jones, if he can get more plate appearances, may get some notice (1.002 OPS in 54 games).
Bill (Chicago): How come there is so much parity these days?
NF: I’m going to go ahead and disagree with you on that, Bill. Less than halfway through the season, every single division has at least a ten game gap between first and last place. Half the divisions have at least a six-game gap between first and second. Two of the six have second place teams at or below .500. Ten different teams are on pace to lose at least 90 times. Then there’s Boston, Milwaukee, both LA teams, Cleveland and Detroit, the Mets… Toss in San Diego and Arizona, who are both playing well. That’s nine candidates for our two pennant winners. And despite that disparity, we have three very good division races and some heat in both wild card chases.
Fred (Atlanta): Who's the best hitter in the game today?
NF: His name is Alex Rodriguez. He’s a third baseman, playing for the New York Yankees. He is currently the Chuck Norris of hitting. A-Rod didn’t actually hit his last home run – he just glared at the pitch and it hid behind the outfield wall. He once hit a pitch so hard, it went back in time and he drove in Thurman Munson. (You get the idea.)
NF: Pujols has the track record, and is coming around, but nobody’s doing better than Rodriguez right now.
[And your trivia answer? "Who cares." There are probably general managers who don't know how many holds their own pitchers have - on the Official MLB site, you have to hit "Next Stats" TWICE to find "holds" on their stat pages. But the player is Milwaukee's Derrick Turnbow, with 21 holds (and one save) in 25 total opportunities. The rest of the top five are-
Steve Shields, LAA, 19 (and 2 saves) in 25 tries
Jonathan Broxton, LAD, 17 (and 1 save) in 21 tries
Brandon Lyon, ARZ, 17 (and 2 saves) in 23 tries
Tony Pena, ARZ, 16 (and 1 save) in 20 tries
I included saves even though they're silly because when you blow the hold, it counts as a blown save, not a blown hold - so useless or not, they have to stay. Notice that the guys leading in holds are all key pitchers on first-place contending teams - and notice, via this comparison, how the other metrics stack up. Shields and Pena give up fewer than one baserunner per inning; Turnbow's ERA is sort of high but so is his K/9 IP. In general these are guys going into higher-pressure situations than their closers and getting the job done.
Those closers are doing well, too - Saito's got 41 K and only 3 BB, holy crow - but it doesn't always work that way, as Joe Borowski or Todd Jones could tell you. And notice how young those guys are. Only Cordero is older than 27.** Unless a pitcher is just lights-out dominant like he's been, he's largely wasted as a closer instead of a rally-killer.]
It should be a rating
Ken was lamenting his poor blog rating (via Mingle² and their odd word-count system). I can't have that, now can I?
For use wherever fine Friday threads are posted!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Following up
The Spider wasn't kidding when he was talking about his health event. From Tim Kurkjian's online article about Washington first-baseman Dmitri Young:
Emphasis mine. That is one astonishing number. To put it in context: that's about nine times the normal level.
"I had an infection that would not heal, and I had flu-like symptoms," Young said. "I went to urgent care three times in two days. After the third time, I called my parents to tell them goodbye. I told my kids that I loved them, and I hoped they would always be happy. I called 911. When the ambulance arrived, my blood-sugar level was 987. When it's that high, four things can happen -- stroke, coma, organ damage or death. They put an IV in me and got it down to 893. I spent four days in the hospital, three days in the ICU. I know how lucky I am today. I thought there was going to be a tombstone with my name on it."
Emphasis mine. That is one astonishing number. To put it in context: that's about nine times the normal level.
Monday, June 25, 2007
A swift kick in the pants
Judge Roy Pearson and his flim-flam $54 million pants suit (heh) have been tossed out on their rear.
Now that's getting taken to the cleaners.
The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.
Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung.
Now that's getting taken to the cleaners.
Friday, June 22, 2007
An interview I'll never get
I happened across the channel-surfing equivalent of a wipe-out last night.
It was a promo spot. I recognized Ryan Seacrest and lingered, wondering what he did for a day job when he and Simon weren’t cat fighting on American Idol. Turns out he’s an “entertainment reporter,” which is sort of like being the referee on American Gladiators: you only look like you’re doing something helpful.
The latest news? His exclusive interview with… her. From! Jail! She’s a changed woman! Tune in!
“Exclusive” is a word one rarely associates with the Lady Hilton. She’s been poorly raised, indulged, and fawned over for nothing more than her money and her compulsion to put herself in the public eye any way possible. (She puts out to the media so readily, one suspects that she may be in the habit elsewhere.)
We are all, I am sure, so very tired of the subject. One can tune in here [language alert] and vent all about it. I’m going to try a different tack, since at this point it’s like whacking a piñata that’s already on the ground. I’m going to take her epiphany seriously and give her some serious advice, based on my 18 years of trying to live for Christ.
Paris –
Imagine for a moment that you are on a long trip to an unfamiliar town, and you are lost. It’s a remote area, and getting late. You may not have enough gas to reach your goal. Then, a helpful motorist sees your convoy pulled over at the side of the road. He knows the area, knows your destination, and gives you directions – first here to the only gas station within fifty miles, then to the highway, to this exit, left at that traffic light, and you’re golden.
Now you feel better. You have a direction. But otherwise – you are still in the same remote area, still low on gas, and no closer to your destination. The only difference here is how you feel about all of that – now you have hope because you have the right direction.
Your conversion, even if genuine, is exactly the same way. You can talk to as many broadcasters and celebrity kiss-ups as you please – but you’ll notice that this isn’t any different than your behavior before you went to jail. You still have your money, your insane friends, your entourage, and your parents. In short, you can talk about being a changed woman all you want – and because of the feeling of hope, you will believe that you have changed – but truth is, the only thing new is the direction. And you still have to follow that before you can be in a different place in your life.
And, like trying to get to your unfamiliar town, it’s almost certain that it won’t be without its dangers. Your may run out of gas before you reach the station, which may be closed in any case. You may make a wrong turn and wind up lost in an entirely new remote area. You may even grow frustrated and decide “I recognize where we are now,” and disregard the directions entirely.
So, if you want to really be changed, the feeling is not the best indicator. You’re still in jail, still talking to the media, still hoarding the spotlight that has been your god up until now, so there’s really nothing new yet, is there? The real test is when you’re free, and it’s been a month or two since anyone’s heard from you, and you have to decide whether to hit that hot nightspot. The test is afterward, when you’ve had a few and are fumbling for your car keys; or alone in the room with the really hot guy from the Abercrombie catalogue. The test is when the people who need you to NOT change start to tell you that they don’t like what’s happened to you – and some of them will be dishonest and say that they’re worried, you’re not the woman you were, something is clearly wrong, and they only want to help you.
This isn’t supposed to discourage you, Paris – but you should go into this with your eyes open. A lot of people make money off of the Old Paris: crazy, spoiled, party-girl Paris; who has rarely shown nor been taught healthy restraint and good judgment. They need you to keep living the old life, even if you die young because of it. After that, they’ll find the next person to eat alive and forget all about you; or worse, go on TV and shed tears about your fate when it was within their power to help you avoid it. It’s easier for them to just keep on in the old way, and harder to risk losing their meal ticket (you) by telling you what you need to know.
Well, obviously you’re not my meal ticket. I’ve never met you. I can’t benefit in any tangible way, one way or the other. But, if this spiritual event is true, then it makes us brother and sister, and as the saying goes, one can’t choose family. So believe me – it’s easy to feel spiritual and changed. It’s harder to take that and commit to a creed and a church and then live up to those standards. At times they even feel like polar opposites and you will want to ditch the creed, or the spirituality. But you need both – all feelings will just make you a more famous version of this person, while all creed will make you a bitter, joyless scold.
Start with prayer. And then end with prayer. In the end, you are not Jesus’ meal ticket either, and unlike me, He actually can help you with all the stuff I’ve just been describing. Good luck.
It was a promo spot. I recognized Ryan Seacrest and lingered, wondering what he did for a day job when he and Simon weren’t cat fighting on American Idol. Turns out he’s an “entertainment reporter,” which is sort of like being the referee on American Gladiators: you only look like you’re doing something helpful.
The latest news? His exclusive interview with… her. From! Jail! She’s a changed woman! Tune in!
“Exclusive” is a word one rarely associates with the Lady Hilton. She’s been poorly raised, indulged, and fawned over for nothing more than her money and her compulsion to put herself in the public eye any way possible. (She puts out to the media so readily, one suspects that she may be in the habit elsewhere.)
We are all, I am sure, so very tired of the subject. One can tune in here [language alert] and vent all about it. I’m going to try a different tack, since at this point it’s like whacking a piñata that’s already on the ground. I’m going to take her epiphany seriously and give her some serious advice, based on my 18 years of trying to live for Christ.
Paris –
Imagine for a moment that you are on a long trip to an unfamiliar town, and you are lost. It’s a remote area, and getting late. You may not have enough gas to reach your goal. Then, a helpful motorist sees your convoy pulled over at the side of the road. He knows the area, knows your destination, and gives you directions – first here to the only gas station within fifty miles, then to the highway, to this exit, left at that traffic light, and you’re golden.
Now you feel better. You have a direction. But otherwise – you are still in the same remote area, still low on gas, and no closer to your destination. The only difference here is how you feel about all of that – now you have hope because you have the right direction.
Your conversion, even if genuine, is exactly the same way. You can talk to as many broadcasters and celebrity kiss-ups as you please – but you’ll notice that this isn’t any different than your behavior before you went to jail. You still have your money, your insane friends, your entourage, and your parents. In short, you can talk about being a changed woman all you want – and because of the feeling of hope, you will believe that you have changed – but truth is, the only thing new is the direction. And you still have to follow that before you can be in a different place in your life.
And, like trying to get to your unfamiliar town, it’s almost certain that it won’t be without its dangers. Your may run out of gas before you reach the station, which may be closed in any case. You may make a wrong turn and wind up lost in an entirely new remote area. You may even grow frustrated and decide “I recognize where we are now,” and disregard the directions entirely.
So, if you want to really be changed, the feeling is not the best indicator. You’re still in jail, still talking to the media, still hoarding the spotlight that has been your god up until now, so there’s really nothing new yet, is there? The real test is when you’re free, and it’s been a month or two since anyone’s heard from you, and you have to decide whether to hit that hot nightspot. The test is afterward, when you’ve had a few and are fumbling for your car keys; or alone in the room with the really hot guy from the Abercrombie catalogue. The test is when the people who need you to NOT change start to tell you that they don’t like what’s happened to you – and some of them will be dishonest and say that they’re worried, you’re not the woman you were, something is clearly wrong, and they only want to help you.
This isn’t supposed to discourage you, Paris – but you should go into this with your eyes open. A lot of people make money off of the Old Paris: crazy, spoiled, party-girl Paris; who has rarely shown nor been taught healthy restraint and good judgment. They need you to keep living the old life, even if you die young because of it. After that, they’ll find the next person to eat alive and forget all about you; or worse, go on TV and shed tears about your fate when it was within their power to help you avoid it. It’s easier for them to just keep on in the old way, and harder to risk losing their meal ticket (you) by telling you what you need to know.
Well, obviously you’re not my meal ticket. I’ve never met you. I can’t benefit in any tangible way, one way or the other. But, if this spiritual event is true, then it makes us brother and sister, and as the saying goes, one can’t choose family. So believe me – it’s easy to feel spiritual and changed. It’s harder to take that and commit to a creed and a church and then live up to those standards. At times they even feel like polar opposites and you will want to ditch the creed, or the spirituality. But you need both – all feelings will just make you a more famous version of this person, while all creed will make you a bitter, joyless scold.
Start with prayer. And then end with prayer. In the end, you are not Jesus’ meal ticket either, and unlike me, He actually can help you with all the stuff I’ve just been describing. Good luck.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Fw: FW: re: Enough of this!
In the old days, chain letters were more of a commitment. They had to be addressed, stuffed, sealed, and they cost a bunch of stamps to move along.
Now, though. :::sigh::: Too easy. Nobody has to even type any of the addresses. Just open the list, click a few times - or just tap "Reply All" - and viola, you can fling this crap across the internet like a virtual howler monkey:
Just read the little stories and think of a wish as you scroll all the way to the bottom. There is a message there - then make your Wish.
It's not like I don't enjoy mail from family and friends... But I enjoy mail from family and friends. Even two personal lines saying that you're well, and the dog ate a caterpillar and it made his pee green, but it's been sunny lately and not too warm - that's all. How does this sort of thing actually help us stay closer?
No attachment on this one.! Stories
And it starts. There is a series of tales appended by other readers of the letter - or composed out of whole cloth to amuse and enlighten; it's impossible to tell, nor does it matter.
I'm 13 years old, and I wished that my dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg.
Translation - I'm forty-two, still live with both my parents, and am writing this at the end of a chain letter as a break from my World of Warcraft campaign.
It was 2:53 p.m.. When I made my wish. At 3:07 PM. (14 minutes Later), the doorbell rang, and there my Dad was, luggage and all!!
You can almost see the crayon and backwards R's, can't you? Heartwarming. Of course, Dad has known for months when his hitch was up, got his orders two weeks ago, and was on a plane for eleven hours before Wonderboy and His Wishing Magic ever opened the email. But no, we'll just type it up and stick it on the end of a message to sixty-seven people, only eight of whom we've actually met. Wishing is better than thinking!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting.
You can do better on your job by wasting less time writing and forwarding crap email on the company's nickel. Just a thought.
I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city.
If you really had this amazing wishing power, wouldn't you be smarter to wish that YOU got a promotion and a transfer to another city? Then you wouldn't have to deal with the stares from bitter co-workers who know all about you and your insistance that your daydreams control the world. To sum up - 20 years old, wasting her time on internet chain letters, not smart enough to realize that the boss, not being an idiot like her, has spent the past few months working hard, getting noticed, going on interviews, and earning a well-deserved promotion away from the crazy slacker girl with delusions of Jedihood.
Believe me... this really works!!!
That's where I met the leprechaun. He told me to burn things! [/ralphwiggum]
My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many Years.
There's that 42 year old guy from before. Just hit "Reply All."
While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.
The Federal Express Corporation would like to officially apologize for this incident. The person in question is not actually an employee, and made the uniform himself from scraps of his old college mascot outfit. He takes empty boxes from dumpsters and "delivers" them to various businesses. He's really harmless. Give him a buck or two and sign his newspaper, and he'll leave happy.
He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later.
No packages. See? Not a Delivery Guy. Remember - look for the picture ID!
We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!!
You've been sitting on this great email for a while, haven't you? That's 2½ years before you forwarded this life-changing information. While you were dawdling, Dad got redeployed, his kid dropped out of high school, Katie went back to community college to find herself, and her old boss opened his own company and went public - raked in $27 million on the first day's trading.
So, when deciding whether to wish and forward, consider - which of those four people has had the best life? The one who decided to do something productive instead of wishing and forwarding.
Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. (Ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).
Just in case we were unclear on the whole "age=# of minutes" concept. Really, I wish that you could see the thing in its original form - 24 point type, bad punctuation, misplaced capitals, and tortured grammar. (I saved a bit of it in the "It was 2:53 pm" paragraph.) But there is no way on earth I'm forwarding it, so you'll just have to get your own.
However, if you don't send this to People in 5 minutes, you will have bad Luck for years!!
People... who don't spam People... are the un-Luckiest People...
Guess I'll chance it. And if the dear person who sent this along reads this - please PLEASE understand. I am not angry with you. I daresay you don't believe a word yourself, but thought that it was a cute, harmless diversion. I dig it. I love cute and harmless diversions. (And kitties.) But think for a moment: do you send only these "diversions"? Do you tell yourself, "Aw, it couldn't hurt and who knows, it might work!"? I'm sure friends and loved ones would mind this less if you also told them about work and the church group social and the nice kid in the supermarket who remembered your name from last week and helped bring the bags to the car.
If all you're doing is carpet-bombing every mailbox on your list - including multiple accounts for the same person - then take it to heart, you are not helping. You are probably annoying the very people you're trying to make smile. This is why they don't write back, except to say For God's sake Quit It. You'll both be happier if you write a real email - or a real letter (since you have all those extra stamps lying around) - or a real phone call.
Now, though. :::sigh::: Too easy. Nobody has to even type any of the addresses. Just open the list, click a few times - or just tap "Reply All" - and viola, you can fling this crap across the internet like a virtual howler monkey:
Just read the little stories and think of a wish as you scroll all the way to the bottom. There is a message there - then make your Wish.
It's not like I don't enjoy mail from family and friends... But I enjoy mail from family and friends. Even two personal lines saying that you're well, and the dog ate a caterpillar and it made his pee green, but it's been sunny lately and not too warm - that's all. How does this sort of thing actually help us stay closer?
No attachment on this one.! Stories
And it starts. There is a series of tales appended by other readers of the letter - or composed out of whole cloth to amuse and enlighten; it's impossible to tell, nor does it matter.
I'm 13 years old, and I wished that my dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg.
Translation - I'm forty-two, still live with both my parents, and am writing this at the end of a chain letter as a break from my World of Warcraft campaign.
It was 2:53 p.m.. When I made my wish. At 3:07 PM. (14 minutes Later), the doorbell rang, and there my Dad was, luggage and all!!
You can almost see the crayon and backwards R's, can't you? Heartwarming. Of course, Dad has known for months when his hitch was up, got his orders two weeks ago, and was on a plane for eleven hours before Wonderboy and His Wishing Magic ever opened the email. But no, we'll just type it up and stick it on the end of a message to sixty-seven people, only eight of whom we've actually met. Wishing is better than thinking!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting.
You can do better on your job by wasting less time writing and forwarding crap email on the company's nickel. Just a thought.
I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city.
If you really had this amazing wishing power, wouldn't you be smarter to wish that YOU got a promotion and a transfer to another city? Then you wouldn't have to deal with the stares from bitter co-workers who know all about you and your insistance that your daydreams control the world. To sum up - 20 years old, wasting her time on internet chain letters, not smart enough to realize that the boss, not being an idiot like her, has spent the past few months working hard, getting noticed, going on interviews, and earning a well-deserved promotion away from the crazy slacker girl with delusions of Jedihood.
Believe me... this really works!!!
That's where I met the leprechaun. He told me to burn things! [/ralphwiggum]
My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many Years.
There's that 42 year old guy from before. Just hit "Reply All."
While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.
The Federal Express Corporation would like to officially apologize for this incident. The person in question is not actually an employee, and made the uniform himself from scraps of his old college mascot outfit. He takes empty boxes from dumpsters and "delivers" them to various businesses. He's really harmless. Give him a buck or two and sign his newspaper, and he'll leave happy.
He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later.
No packages. See? Not a Delivery Guy. Remember - look for the picture ID!
We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!!
You've been sitting on this great email for a while, haven't you? That's 2½ years before you forwarded this life-changing information. While you were dawdling, Dad got redeployed, his kid dropped out of high school, Katie went back to community college to find herself, and her old boss opened his own company and went public - raked in $27 million on the first day's trading.
So, when deciding whether to wish and forward, consider - which of those four people has had the best life? The one who decided to do something productive instead of wishing and forwarding.
Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. (Ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).
Just in case we were unclear on the whole "age=# of minutes" concept. Really, I wish that you could see the thing in its original form - 24 point type, bad punctuation, misplaced capitals, and tortured grammar. (I saved a bit of it in the "It was 2:53 pm" paragraph.) But there is no way on earth I'm forwarding it, so you'll just have to get your own.
However, if you don't send this to People in 5 minutes, you will have bad Luck for years!!
People... who don't spam People... are the un-Luckiest People...
Guess I'll chance it. And if the dear person who sent this along reads this - please PLEASE understand. I am not angry with you. I daresay you don't believe a word yourself, but thought that it was a cute, harmless diversion. I dig it. I love cute and harmless diversions. (And kitties.) But think for a moment: do you send only these "diversions"? Do you tell yourself, "Aw, it couldn't hurt and who knows, it might work!"? I'm sure friends and loved ones would mind this less if you also told them about work and the church group social and the nice kid in the supermarket who remembered your name from last week and helped bring the bags to the car.
If all you're doing is carpet-bombing every mailbox on your list - including multiple accounts for the same person - then take it to heart, you are not helping. You are probably annoying the very people you're trying to make smile. This is why they don't write back, except to say For God's sake Quit It. You'll both be happier if you write a real email - or a real letter (since you have all those extra stamps lying around) - or a real phone call.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I am such a doofus
I came across a post that I'm certain Ricki wrote, that I wanted to reply to at length - so I decided to save it for a post and track back. And now, well... I can't find the durned thing. And even if I did, at this point I may not remember what it was I was inspired to write.
Poopie.
Poopie.
It doesn't get any squishier than this
An Episcopalian who is both a Christian AND a Muslim.
Shortly after noon on Fridays, the Rev. Ann Holmes Redding ties on a black headscarf, preparing to pray with her Muslim group on First Hill.
On Sunday mornings, Redding puts on the white collar of an Episcopal priest.
She does both, she says, because she's Christian and Muslim.
Redding, who until recently was director of faith formation at St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral, has been a priest for more than 20 years. Now she's ready to tell people that, for the last 15 months, she's also been a Muslim — drawn to the faith after an introduction to Islamic prayers left her profoundly moved.
Her announcement has provoked surprise and bewilderment in many, raising an obvious question: How can someone be both a Christian and a Muslim?
Let me give you the short answer: You can't. The article lays out her beliefs. I'll let the reader decide if she's even a Christian.
Redding's views, even before she embraced Islam, were more interpretive than literal.
She believes the Trinity is an idea about God and cannot be taken literally.
She does not believe Jesus and God are the same, but rather that God is more than Jesus.
She believes Jesus is the son of God insofar as all humans are the children of God, and that Jesus is divine, just as all humans are divine — because God dwells in all humans.
What makes Jesus unique, she believes, is that out of all humans, he most embodied being filled with God and identifying completely with God's will.
She does believe that Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected, and acknowledges those beliefs conflict with the teachings of the Quran. "That's something I'll find a challenge the rest of my life," she said.
She considers Jesus her savior. At times of despair, because she knows Jesus suffered and overcame suffering, "he has connected me with God," she said.
That's not to say she couldn't develop as deep a relationship with Mohammed. "I'm still getting to know him," she said.
Did I tell you that this woman will be teaching New Testament at Seattle University this fall?
If you look at her reasons for being a Muslim, it's all based on feelings. "Finding a religion that fits"? Fit's what? Your weekend schedule?
Note that she does not cite one verse in the Koran or the Bible. This person graduated for an Episcopalian seminary? What are they teaching in those places?
I need to take my pills now.
Shortly after noon on Fridays, the Rev. Ann Holmes Redding ties on a black headscarf, preparing to pray with her Muslim group on First Hill.
On Sunday mornings, Redding puts on the white collar of an Episcopal priest.
She does both, she says, because she's Christian and Muslim.
Redding, who until recently was director of faith formation at St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral, has been a priest for more than 20 years. Now she's ready to tell people that, for the last 15 months, she's also been a Muslim — drawn to the faith after an introduction to Islamic prayers left her profoundly moved.
Her announcement has provoked surprise and bewilderment in many, raising an obvious question: How can someone be both a Christian and a Muslim?
Let me give you the short answer: You can't. The article lays out her beliefs. I'll let the reader decide if she's even a Christian.
Redding's views, even before she embraced Islam, were more interpretive than literal.
She believes the Trinity is an idea about God and cannot be taken literally.
She does not believe Jesus and God are the same, but rather that God is more than Jesus.
She believes Jesus is the son of God insofar as all humans are the children of God, and that Jesus is divine, just as all humans are divine — because God dwells in all humans.
What makes Jesus unique, she believes, is that out of all humans, he most embodied being filled with God and identifying completely with God's will.
She does believe that Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected, and acknowledges those beliefs conflict with the teachings of the Quran. "That's something I'll find a challenge the rest of my life," she said.
She considers Jesus her savior. At times of despair, because she knows Jesus suffered and overcame suffering, "he has connected me with God," she said.
That's not to say she couldn't develop as deep a relationship with Mohammed. "I'm still getting to know him," she said.
Did I tell you that this woman will be teaching New Testament at Seattle University this fall?
If you look at her reasons for being a Muslim, it's all based on feelings. "Finding a religion that fits"? Fit's what? Your weekend schedule?
Note that she does not cite one verse in the Koran or the Bible. This person graduated for an Episcopalian seminary? What are they teaching in those places?
I need to take my pills now.
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