Memey, memey, nice and dreamy

It's an iPod shuffly sort of thing, probably gone round before, but why not. I like rediscovering things, especially when it means cheap, easy content.

The rules, as described by SarahK:

1. Put your iTunes, iPod, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag whoever you want including me.
5. Have fun - you will be surprised at how it works sometimes.

Background: the ol’ Pod has 4150 songs on it, and many of them are quite odd, since it holds all of my show soundtracks (and a CD compilation of TV themes). Luckily I haven’t put all my Christmas music on it yet. As for tags... hey, go for it if you like it.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
“What Is and What Should Never Be,” Led Zeppelin. Heheheheh.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
“All I Need,” the Temptations. Two for two, iPod.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“Tuesday Afternoon,” the Moody Blues. OK, this is getting eerie. Bonus - the track from "Days of Future Passed" includes "Evening (Time to Get Away)." Sing it, iPod.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“As Long as I’m Singing,” Brian Setzer Orchestra. The word processor wants to call him Brian Seltzer. Poor guy. (Be advised - I have a poor singing voice, but I know of know song called As Long as I'm Writing.)

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO
“The Simpsons End Credits.” Did I mention the odd stuff on the ol’ Pod?

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Some Things You Never Get Used To,” the Supremes. Hahahahahahaha...

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Black Dog,” Led Zeppelin. Whoa, this meme went sideways pretty quickly.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Boom Boom,” the Yardbirds. I don’t know what this means. 50’s singer Freddy Cannon? Former boxer Ray Mancini? Artillery barrages? Maybe it’s shooting at the walls of heartache. No, that’s Bang Bang (that awful sound). Stop confoozalin’ me, iPod.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS?
“Promises, Promises” by Naked Eyes. Oh, ouch. Moral - never mock the iPod; it hits back hard. Probably a design feature.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Night Court.” Wha?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Still Alive and Well,” Rick Derringer. Interesting. I’d have picked differently for myself, but that’s kind of the whole point of this exercise, isn’t it? Besides killing time and finally putting up a post.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Hot Fun in the Summertime,” Sly and the Family Stone. LOVE this song.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
“Velveteen,” Yoko Kanno/Ilaria Graziano. Ladybug and I first bonded by discovering that we both enjoyed Kanno’s music.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Luck Will Turn Someday,” L/R soundtrack. We didn’t – and it’s hardly a dance number, though it’s a good song. If any of the songs we DID dance to had turned up, I think I would have burned my iPod as a witch.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“You’ve Made Me So Very Happy,” Blood Sweat & Tears. Holy cow, my iPod made me tear up.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Advice,” the Pillows. Ah… Sadly, I am full of help for others.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
“Pulling Mussels,” Squeeze. Hahahahaha! That would be pretty bad for a goalie.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Bad Case of Loving You,” Robert Palmer. Sorry, all… the secret’s out! I love my wife. (Gasp!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
“Weather with You,” Crowded House.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Route 101,” Herb Alpert. Hm. This is on the Traveling Cosmic Yurt soundtrack (coming soon!) so, again, I think my iPod may be a witch. Build a church out of her!

BONUS TRACK: “Five-Eighths,” again from the L/R soundtrack. It’s the instrumental version, so there’s no heavily-accented English. Very pretty song. I know practically none of the words.

Clicking does the strangest things

I came across an article online regarding Randy Wolf, the former Phillies pitcher who now works for the Los Angeles Dodgers. The pride of Pepperdine University is a decent middle-of-the-rotation guy at this point, but his most recent start (vs. Arizona) was a thing of beauty. Through seven innings he had allowed only one single, striking out ten, and had gone 2-3 with a home run.

They let him hit for himself in the top of the eighth - why not, it was 7-0 - and he smacked an RBI double, and came around to score, and Joe Torre let him keep going. I mean, again, why not? The guy was cruising. He'd retired 20 consecutive Diamondbacks. He'd struck out the side in the fifth, two more in the seventh, and had a shot at actually hitting for the cycle.

On his second pitch of the eighth, Wolf gave up a dinger, and two singles and a triple later, Torre had to come get him. His final line was 7 2/3 IP, three runs on five hits with ten strikeouts, plus a 3-4, 3 rbi day at the plate.

The article (which I can't find now) posited that Wolf's day was one of the greatest ever enjoyed by a pitcher, and while it's a fine day indeed, I can't help but think that there have been enough truly amazing days to consider this a slight step below.

That's not the Mets fan in me talking, either. To prove it, I will cite as possibly the top of the list a warm June in Cincinnati, where the visiting Phillies send Rick Wise to the mound. He threw a no-hitter that day... and hit two home runs of his own. Not many pitchers can say that they've done that, and to my knowledge no other pitcher can say that he did it TWICE - but Wise can, and what's more, he did it in the same season.

But this is where clicking comes in. Wise can also add some odd-duck trivia. Most famously, he was traded straight-up for Steve Carlton, who went on to win 27 games for the dreadful '72 Phils, with the Cy Young and the Hall of Fame and (for a very little while) the all-time strikeout title.

Wise's first-ever start in 1964 came against the Giants, and he surrendered his first major league home run in the first inning - to Willie Mays. On August 28th, 1971, they became the second team in a single year to give up two homers TO Wise; one was a grand slam to break a tie.

The Phillies lost 7 of Wise's next 8 starts following the June no-hitter... they also lost his next three starts after that August 28th game.

Wise wound up hitting 15 career homers, and one week shy of the two-year anniversary of his first grand slam, he hit another for the Cardinals against the Braves. It would be his last career homer.

But wait! There's more! The Baseball Reference guys ran a list of all the relievers who've hit homers and found two who've hit two in a game themselves. The first guy on that list, Millard "Dixie" Howell, is a very interesting guy: broke in with the Cleveland Indians in 1940, had arm troubles, went to WW2, was made a prisoner of war, but made it briefly back to the bigs at age 29. And when the game seemed to have passed him by, he popped back up at age 35 for the White Sox, presaging Jim Morris by over forty years, and he went 8-3 with a 2.93 ERA. His two-tater game came two years later. Sadly, he died very young, via heart attack at age 40, while working out for an independent league team in spring training.

By the way, be sure when you investigate these things. You have to wind up with the correct Millard "Dixie" Howell, or things could get wierd.

Thanks Brad!

For ruining this song for me.

Before singing his song "Welcome to the Future," Paisley reflected on Election Day, telling the audience in the East Room that it felt "unbelievable" to be in N.Y.C.'s Times Square, before turning to the President and quipping, "I'm sure you were busy." "I stood there and watched the world turn on a dime," Paisley said to President Obama. "I'm a two-time father…I thought about [my children]...you are the first president they will remember, which is something."

You need to watch the video to get the full gushing over. I know a lot of college students like Brad Paisley, and he can support whomever he wants.

But remember the Dixie Chicks - getting seen with this guy might not be healthy for the career.

I think I'll go for a walk

See, he says he's not dead.

You're not foolin' anyone, y'know...

No, I want to post something! I feel happy! I feel happyyyyyy...

Don't give Corzine any ideas

Apparently, the state of California has been issuing IOUs to contractors that they do business with because Ahnold has no cash. They are worthless; no bank will honor them.

Small businesses that received $682 million in IOUs from the state say California expects them to pay taxes on the worthless scraps of paper, but refuses to accept its own IOUs to pay debts or taxes. The vendors' federal class action claims the state is trying to balance its budget on their backs.

Lead plaintiff Nancy Baird filled her contract with California to provide embroidered polo shirts to a youth camp run by the National Guard, but never was paid the $27,000 she was owed. She says California "paid" her with an IOU that two banks refused to accept - yet she had to pay California sales tax on the so-called "sale" of the uniforms.

But here's the prize in the Cracker Jack box. California is treating the IOUs as income and is demanding IOU holders to pax state income tax on them. And the state won't take its own IOUs back as payment.

I hope for the sake of you folks in Jersey that your governor isn't reading this blog.

This is creative

Some Dem congresscritters are looking for ways to avoid their own voters this August break. Some load up their town halls with union goons, but that can lead to some bad video. Some will only meet one on one with voters. Some will do telephone town halls. One guy had his at a children's hospital.

But Congresscritter Sanchez tops them all. Disguise your town hall as a prayer vigil. Notice this gutless coward taking only written questions.

These people would have no problems from dissenters if they showed up with a draft of the House bill in their hands, and instead of droning on with lib Pferdkaese, start right out with, "Where is your concern? Show me what page it's on?" None of them can do that. And we all know why.

The video edited out the prayer. As with all interfaith meetings, I wonder to which local goat diety these people bow the knee.

By the way, if you want to rat me out to the White House, the email address is flag@whitehouse.gov

Fighting the Power in Tampa

My congresscritter had a town hall.

It looks like more than just the Sisko is angry. The first video has her talking. I would have yelled at her, too. She was spewing Pferdkaese.

Predominently Dem district. Kathy Castor would have to be caught naked with Rush Limbaugh to lose her seat.

Castor didn't get the latest memo. Big Pharma cut a deal with Obama. The new boogieman is the insurance companies and Glenn Beck.

Pretty good coverage from the local FOX station.

My Left Foot

At the podiatry clinic in the VA hospital yesterday. The doctor treating me looked like she was 15 years old.

The wound on my left foot (on top, right where the big toe meets the foot) is slow to heal. The tendon is exposed, which is an infection concern. The doc took blood from me and used it to make a plasma plug over the wound.

I am wearing something that looks like a ski boot to keep the foot immobile. I go back next week.

It's a nice foot. Daniel Day-Lewis starred in a movie about it. Hopefully I get to keep it.

With apologies to Rod Stewart..

..Every picture tells a story, don't it?

Thanks to Lucianne.com.

Here she is....

...the future Mrs. Barking Spider.

The good news is that since Obama got smacked down for channelling his inner Sharpton (or Jeremiah Wright), could the Era of the Mau-Mau be over? Sharpton and Jesse piped up, but no one paid attention. Obama had to backtrack because he was getting killed in the polls over this.

To actually see the end of the Era of Mau-Mau in my lifetime! It would be the best thing to happen to black people in 40 years. To finally be liberated from victimhood.

City of Brotherly Love

Maybe this guy was a Mets fan.

Police say a group from the bachelor party got into a fight with other patrons at a sports bar and restaurant in the Citizens Bank Park complex Saturday night. The trouble started during the closing innings of a game between the Phillies and the St. Louis Cardinals.

The groups were told to leave McFadden's Restaurant and Saloon, and the dispute moved outside to a parking lot.

Police say 22-year-old Lansdale resident David Sale was assaulted there and was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

The World Series champion Phillies say they won't comment until arrests are announced.

Man the bails!

The tank is springing leaks...


I'm not sure if the screen cap is legible, so let me quote the subhead: President strong-arms educators by linking $4-billion package to reform.

Yeah, MSNBC actually went there with His Presidency. Those leg-thrills don't last very long once the election's done and the guy has to actually start doing some governing.

The story is interesting to me beyond the "bloom off the rose" angle, for two reasons.

First: the government can rightly be said to already own all these schools, since they are public. This seems almost as if the President is trying to re-buy them. The difficulty is, if you own something it's usually a bad idea to decide not to pay for its proper function. I can see the local school districts gearing up and suing the Feds for their funding.

(That is of course the exact opposite of everything Obama wants to do. His impulse seems to be to buy, on credit, everything he sees: banks, car companies, the entire insurance industry... That's the whole reason our economy pinwheeled off a cliff to begin with, so it seems akin to digging one's way out of a swamp ditch - but I hain't no expurt or nuthin'.)

Second: the guy is bleeding supporters and approval points faster than a celebrity on a quack diet sheds pounds. Can he really afford to start jacking around with the NEA?

Almost like he was pitching against the Rays..

...except my nephew allowed a walk and a cheap single.

Bethlehem High graduate Randy Bowers tossed a sparkling one-hitter and first baseman Steve Anderson crushed a two-run home run in the fourth to propel South Troy to a 2-0 victory over Brooklyn Youth Service in the North Atlantic Regional at Geer Field.

The Dodgers return to action tonight at Geer Field versus Washington Township. Game time is 6.

The Dodgers missed out at an earlier chance this month to secure a berth in the World Series after finishing tied for third in the 20-team World Series qualifier hosted by South Troy.
Unlike in that event when the Dodgers performed sluggishly, Bowers made sure South Troy started strong and remained strong.

The right-hander, who is headed to Canisius, allowed a walk in the first inning and took his no-hitter into the top of the seventh. He had BYS No. 3 hitter Tommy Cardona at 0-2 in the count before the first baseman squibbed a single just past South Troy second baseman Jose Ramirez.

"The first inning was a little shaky, but I calmed down and starting throwing first-pitch strikes," Bowers said. "In the qualifier, we played under par. I hope this game sets a tone in a much better way."

Randy Bowers, Jr. is the son of my youngest brother. I hope he remembers his old uncle if he makes the bigs.

From the State House to the Big House

Come on down! You're the next contestants on the Bribe is Right!

Department of Community Affairs Commissioner Joseph Doria's home and office were raided this morning by federal officials as part of the sweeping FBI and IRS probe that has resulted in the arrests of 30 people, including Assemblyman Daniel Van Pelt and two mayors.

Contestants' Row now features the mayors of Hoboken and Secaucus, and the former mayor of Bayonne. According to the news, the investigation involved money laundering from Brooklyn to the Jersey Shore, including several rabbis at the Deal Yeshiva.

Not surprisingly, they mention first Assemblyman Daniel Van Pelt (R-Ocean), who is also the mayor of Ocean Township. (What, double-dipping isn't enough, you also have to steal?) But to the credit of the Star-Ledger, they don't shy away from the party affiliations when it's the Dems' turn.

Waiting for their turn at the showcase are Jersey City's own Mariano Vega and Leona Beldini, but since one is a Council President and the other a Deputy Mayor, they have to wait until Van Pelt and the other heavy-hitters see the next item up for bids. And if you get within fifty cigarettes without going over, you win BOTH showcases!

UPDATED, 1:11 PM - holy smokes...

In separate money-laundering complaints, several individuals from Brooklyn and New Jersey were charged with offenses ranging from the trafficking of kidneys from Israeli donors to laundering proceeds from selling fake Gucci and Prada bags. It was not immediately clear how the money-laundering arrests were connected to the corruption arrests.

NBC affiliate WNBC reported that the kidney trafficking involved patients paying middlemen to find willing donors in Israel. Investigators allege that the suspects had donors and patients lie to hospitals by saying that they were related. Hospitals would do the operation unaware that cash payments were part of the deal.

The common thread seems to be that the actual money transfers caught the eye of the investigators, especially in the international cases.

There's a news conference going on right now in Newark trying to explain the whole shebang.

Big Ben & the Billy Graham Rule

Rich athletes might want to consider an idea from the old evangelist.

A woman has filed a lawsuit accusing Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of raping her last summer in his penthouse hotel room at a casino in Lake Tahoe during a celebrity golf tournament.

Roethlisberger's lawyer adamantly denied the allegations Tuesday, and was quick to point out that the woman never went to authorities.

According to the woman, a hotel employee, she went up to Ben's room to fix his TV and that's where the alleged crime took place.

As a young man, Reverend Graham resolved to never be alone with a woman he wasn't married to or related to by blood. This wasn't because he was a lech, but to avoid being accused of any impropriety. Prudish, yeah. But it potentially saved him aggravation a few times.

Ben, you need to think about going Graham. I bet Kobe's doing it.

Once you go Graham, you'll never be damned.

It's Past Thursday, Charlie

Update: Charlie's poll on Sotomayor is in!

Haven't made a decision yet? I guess the polling data isn't out yet.

Gov. Charlie Crist is the only high-ranking Republican in the land who seems to have no opinion on whether, were he elected to the Senate seat he’s running for, he’d vote to confirm Sonia Sotomayor as the first Hispanic Supreme Court justice.

Crist’s opponent Marco Rubio said he’d vote against her. Crist is still figuring.
Crist: “I haven’t decided and I’ve got a lot of responsibilities in the job that I hold. Yesterday I was actually appointing judges. And so I’m focused on their records for now."

Q: You said you’d say by Thursday.

“I said I might know by Thursday. I think it's important to note: there are members on the Senate judiciary committee that have seen every minute of testimony and they haven’t made an announcement on it. I don’t feel pressure.”

What a coward. I can't do it, guys. I can't vote for this guy.

I predict 2011

"Amnesty" Mel Martinez will be hired by La Raza when he leaves the Senate:


Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) came to the defense of Sonia Sotomayor today, saying he doesn't hold her "wise Latina" remarks against her. In fact, he supports them.

"For someone who is of Latin background, personally, I understand what she is trying to say," Martinez said after meeting with Sotomayor today. "Which is, the richness of her experience forms who she is. It forms who I am."

I believe Martinez is the first Republican senator to actively defend Sotomayor. This could be one of those symbolic turning points.

Martinez also said he expects Sotomayor to be confirmed "with pretty good numbers."


When I changed my voter registration from GOP to No Party Affilliation, I cut up my old voter registration card and mailed it to Amnesty Mel. His support for wise Latina is greasing the skids for a lobbyist gig with La Raza or some other Hispanic civil rights group.


I have never missed an even year election. Will the GOP give me a reason to show up?

The day my worldview was shattered

I was ten years old, watching Apollo 11 launch from Cape Canaveral on TV, when my dad told me that these will be the first men to set foot on the moon.

My entire worldview was shattered, because until then I thought Captian Kirk and Spock and the whole Star Trek crew were up there already.

Cut a kid a break, Star Trek was on prime time Thursday night! I remember the first episode I ever watched. It was the salt-sucking beast that looked like McCoy's ex. Probably explains why I'm still single

40 years ago today...

... was the launch of Apollo 11, the mission that took men to the surface of the moon. But that's not what I want to talk about.

40 years ago this Saturday, while our brave astronauts were hurtling through space toward the moon, Senator Edward Kennedy was also hurtling through space, launched off the Dike Bridge toward the waters of a channel on Chappaquiddick Island. While our astronaunts all made it home safely, one traveler on Ted's craft was not so fortunate.

If there were three cable networks back in 1969, he would have never survived politically.

Carl Crawford All-Star MVP

He didn't score or drive in a run, but the one thing he did saved the game.

I'm going to a Rays game on Aug 1, with the trade deadline being the day before I hope I get to see him in a Rays uniform.

Is it just me, or was the Obamalove a little over the top last night. Usually when someone is interviewed in the booth, the announcers make an attempt to still call the game. McCarver and Buck ingnored the entire bottom of the second to fawn over his lordship.

Another Florida Republican Who Won't Get My Vote

Attorney General (and GOP Goober candidate) Bill McCollum pandering to black voters early:

Attorney General Bill McCollum is suing audience research company Arbitron Inc., claiming it didn't sufficiently include minorities while preparing Miami area radio station ratings.

The lawsuit filed Tuesday seeks to block the company from releasing the Miami radio audience ratings this month, saying the flawed methodology could hurt stations - particularly those with minority audiences - as they compete for advertising dollars.

The suit is similar to lawsuits filed by other states, including New York and Maryland.
Arbitron didn't immediately return a call seeking comment.

Minority radio stations are bent because the PPM records the stations you actually listen to instead of lying about it in the books you fill out. Bill is learning the lesson of Charlie Crist, to pander to the left because ignorant Bible-thumpers like me have nowhere else to go.

We'll see about that. I'm getting sick of this Pferdkaese.

Profiles in Courage

Senate candidate Charlie Crist takes a tough, principled stance:

Gov. Charlie Crist said today he doesn’t have a position on whether Judge Sonia Sotomayor should be confirmed as a Supreme Court justice, but may have a firm opinion as the hearings progress.

When asked in a press conference, Crist said, “I’m interested to watch the hearings. They had a good first day of them yesterday. That will continue through Thursday as I understand it and maybe by Thursday I’ll have formed a good opinion.”

Translation: His polling on Sotomayor will be done on Thursday.

And these people wonder why I'm not longer a Republican.

Posting by me will be light. My new broadband has conked out and they can't get to me till next Tuesday.

Hells yeah

Pudd'nhead Wilson stands justified: "When angry, count four. When very angry, swear."

Bad language could be good for you, a new study shows. For the first time, psychologists have found that swearing may serve an important function in relieving pain.

Basically, when we (for example) smack our bare toe against the coffee table, the amygdala, our fight-or-flight response center, fires up; one of the byproducts of this may be a well-timed cuss, which can actually help relieve a lot of the stressful emotion involved.

Psychologist Steven Pinker of Harvard University, whose book The Stuff of Thought (Viking Adult, 2007) includes a detailed analysis of swearing, compared the situation with what happens in the brain of a cat that somebody accidentally sits on. "I suspect that swearing taps into a defensive reflex in which an animal that is suddenly injured or confined erupts in a furious struggle, accompanied by an angry vocalization, to startle and intimidate an attacker," he says.

The reasonable counter-argument is that we are people, not cats, and we ought to know better. The larger part of me agrees with this statement. We are supposed to be in charge of our instincts, and our will is meant to order our passions to serve one goal - the definition of integrity. To lose control of them is to lose our integrity for the moment. It's probably a bad idea to simply let the cusses fly at every opportunity. (In other words, this doesn't qualify as clinical therapy just yet, no matter how good it may feel.)

In extreme cases, the hotline to the brain's emotional system can make swearing harmful, as when road rage escalates into physical violence. But when the hammer slips, some well-chosen swearwords might help dull the pain. There is a catch, though: The more we swear, the less emotionally potent the words become, Stephens cautions. And without emotion, all that is left of a swearword is the word itself, unlikely to soothe anyone's pain.

Yeah, like I said...

BTW- they won't let me put an exclam next to SCIENCE. I'm trying the double exclam (‼) but it's not standard ASCII, so we'll see...

One thing I wouldn't do

I like B16. As a non-Catholic I have some doctrinal differences with Pope Benedict but he's one of the good guys. And I would be thrilled to have the chance to meet him. Though if I did meet him I wouldn't tell whoppers to his face.

Obama told the pope of his commitment to reduce the number of abortions and of his attention and respect for the positions of the Catholic Church," Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told reporters after he was briefed by the pope.

Obama supports abortion rights and says his policy is to change economic and social conditions so as to put more women in situations where they do not feel they have to have an abortion.

I heard a talk show host say that B16's IQ is in the 180s, so I'm sure he figured out that there wasn't a whole lot of vertitas coming from the Obamessiah.

Then, it's not every day that a pope meets someone more Catholic than he.

The St Pete Times called me today..

..asking me if I wanted to subscribe.

Considering my current state of mind, how do you think that conversation went?

On a totally unrelated subject, I wore a shoe on my left foot for the first time since May 23rd.

Quote of the Day

"If you have to say, at a funeral, that there wasn't anything strange about the deceased, there was definitely something strange about the deceased."

Thanks to National Review's The Corner:

'There was nothing strange about your daddy.'

As we witness the Downfall of American Civilization that is the Michael Jackson memorial service, it is worth remembering that the Democratic Party treated Al Sharpton as a legitimate presidential candidate from January 2003 to March 2004.

UPDATE: A reader sends in this comment from Amelie Gillette of the Onion AV Club: "If you have to say, at a funeral, that there wasn't anything strange about the deceased, there was definitely something strange about the deceased."

This is not a Sarah Palin post

Let's suppose I had a daughter who just graduated from college. Let's suppose imaginary daughter calls me for fatherly advice.

"Dad, I got two job offers today. One is to work for NBC. The other is to dance on a pole at the Mons Venus. Which should I take?"

I would have to say, "I don't know sweetheart. They're both pretty sleazy operations."

There are no words acceptable to the readers of this blog that can describe my contempt for the majority of media outlets.

Kilt 'im a b'ar when he war onluh three

This is one of the rare times when I can wholeheartedly cheer for the home team at Madison Square Garden.

One of the NYPD's newest officers made his first arrest Thursday just minutes after graduating from the Police Academy in a ceremony at Madison Square Garden.

Officer Dariel Firpo, 23, was leaving the midtown Manhattan ceremony when he saw a 79-year-old man being robbed of his wallet and thrown to the ground by a mugger, police said. The mugger tried to run away, but Firpo caught him without incident...

For those not familiar with the venue, Madison Square Garden, "The World's Most Famous Arena," is like many less-popular arenas: it has a giant marquee advertising upcoming events. Unlike many arenas, however, it is also located above Penn Station, one of the world's busiest railway stations, and is heavily-patrolled by New York's Finest on the outside and the Transit Police on the inside. What kind of doofus tries to mug a guy in this location on this particular day?

The man Firpo arrested, Jeffrey Grant, was being charged with robbery. Grant, 47, has 48 previous arrests and was just released last week from Sing Sing Correctional Facility in Ossining, N.Y., after serving time for a robbery conviction, police said.

OK, then.

Your kid is probably on the ball...

...but kids in Arizona are dumber than a box of hammers.

You know those groan-inducing spots on late-night television when the typical person-on-the-street can't identify the vice president?

That's akin to what happened to the state's education system Tuesday, with the issuance of a new report that found only 3.5 percent of traditional public high school students would be able to pass a U.S. citizenship test— bombing out on questions such as who was America's first president, who wrote the Declaration of Independence and what do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution.

Later in this article is the teacher's union hack trying to spin this:

But John Wright, the head of the state teachers union, the Arizona Education Association, dismissed the report as a "gotcha piece of writing."

"I think there's already an ongoing discussion of standards and assessment, but it is not informed by this kind of survey," he said, adding that for all of its shock value, he didn't find it very analytical.

I'll cut them some slack on Question # 6 because it's out West and I spend many childhood summer days in this body of water, but only 58.8% of the kids Mr. Wright's union members teach know that the body of water on the East Coast of the USA is the Atlantic Ocean! Come on!

We hold these truths to be self-evident

John Adams was of the opinion that on July 2 every year, the American people would celebrate the momentous occasion of their Declaration of Independence from Great Britain with fireworks, parades, and other festivities.

He thus became the first American president - far before his election or even the existence of the office - to misjudge the power of oratory. The Declaration was such a tremendous document that we celebrate the date of its adoption, July 4, rather than the formal act of separation that the Continental Congress ratified two days prior, on this date 233 years ago. Even the title of the post comes from Jefferson's soaring pen, rather than the actual event of the Colonies declaring their separation from England.

Adams was no mean orator himself, of course. He and Jefferson were also great friends, despite a long break caused in large part by their differing political theories and the practical tensions that resulted. [Sheila (who else?) has a comprehensive overview; just click her obsession links: the Founding Fathers and Alexander Hamilton.] The break is perfectly understandable. They took such questions as how to govern very seriously indeed. They had to. In their case it wasn't a question of arguing about a small pet program or the best method to appropriate the funds to build a bridge somewhere, it was literal life and death for millions, and the very power of self-determination for the rest. And they saw themselves as not just acting on their own behalf, but on ours, all these years later; and in a small way on the behalf of people all over the world, as an example of how it could truly be done, as a pattern of liberty.

To that extent they have succeeded perhaps far beyond their own hopes. (Adams once said that all democracies are short-lived and eventually murder themselves.) If hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue, then every dictator and would-be tyrant in the world bows in homage to the might of the ideas laid out in the United States Constitution: every last one of them clings to many of the external trappings of representative democracy even when they, like Mao's ubiquitous portraits, are paper-thin coverings. Ahmadinejad and Chavez and Castro are all "elected" presidents, and so was Saddam and the latest example, Honduran president Manuel Zelaya.

Even during that long break Adams and Jefferson remained committed to their country and the liberty of its citizens. That committment drove them apart, but provided a common ground on which they both stood. In Adams' words: "Swim or sink, live or die, survive or perish, [I am] with my country. You may depend upon it." And Jefferson shared that desire.

This is a very long-winded way to point out this wonderful post from Ms. Sister at the Coalition. I can think of nothing further apart than Adams' statement above and the distressing sentiment Ms. Sister deplores, where people finally feel comfortable to display their flag only when their side is on top - the sentiment so ably described by Michelle Obama after her husband was nominated by his party to run for President: "For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country." I have no doubt she told the truth, but I can't possibly ascribe the word "love" to any such sentiment - it's boggling to imagine a love of country (or pride in it) depending wholly on whether or not it wants your husband to run it.

To be entirely honest, I'm sick of having to defend one Administration or deplore another. I must not let any such thing get in the way of being an American and doing whatever little I can to make it happier and healthier. One more time, Mr. Adams, if you please:

I think instead of opposing systematically any administration, running down their characters and opposing all their measures, right or wrong, we ought to support every administration as far as we can in justice.

(Source of the Adams quotes? Of course!)

If President Obama ever does manage to do the right thing by liberty in general or America in particular I will be very happy indeed. In the end I want America to be free. That should be the ultimate aim of every Administration and every officeholder. Given that freedom, we can handle the pursuit of happiness quite well on our own.

I don't know what offends me more

The fact that these clowns in DC voted on a bill none of them read, or Nancy Pelosi trying to wrap Jesus around this mess.

Most evangelicals know the difference between "Catholics" like San Fran Nan and Catholics like the Nightfly. And that's because we have people like San Fran Nan sitting in our own churches, who were raised in the church and are into the evangelical culture but wouldn't know the Lord's salvation if it jumped up and bit them auf ihrem Po. Many, like many "Catholics", have bowed the knee to their new Messiah in the White House.

50-year-old guys...

...are dropping like flies.

Michael Jackson, Billy Mays.

I'll try to blog as much as I can to let you guys know I'm still around.

Exorcism, It's not just a Catholic thing

Non-Catholics do it, too.

A Connecticut church has outraged gay rights advocates by posting a video of members performing an apparent exorcism of a teen's "homosexual demons."

The 20-minute video was posted on YouTube before it was taken down.

Gay youth advocate Robin McHaelen (mih-KAY'-lehn) says the video appears to show abuse. She says she plans to report it to the Connecticut Department of Children and Families.

The boy confirms he is 16 but otherwise has declined to comment.

The Rev. Patricia McKinney of Manifested Glory Ministries in Bridgeport says he is 18 and came to the church on his own seeking help.

She denies the church is prejudiced and says it took care of the youth.

There is nothing in Scripture to support an exorcism for this. Some people believe that their bad behavior is because of demon possession. This is a copout for those who do not want to take responsibility for their struggles with sin. There is no demon of gayness. I was not possessed by the demon of winoism; I was a drunk. If you are a married guy and your eye and or other body parts wander (like to Argentina) you don't have the demon of whorism. You're just the governor of South Carolina.

If you are doing things, or thinking about doing things that you know are wrong, well you belong to a very large club. As a member in good standing I greet you. Which is why this verse is in the Bible:

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Face it, God knows. And you know God knows. And He knows you know He knows. And you know He knows you know He knows. Ya know? So let's peel off the layers and have an honest conversation with the One who knows.

Two days @ the VA hospital

I was in the renal clinic of the VA hospital Monday morning. The kidneys are improving, which means I won't be hitting any of you up for one in the near future. Of course, the doc said I was fat (as if it took a medical degree to figure that out) and I need to deal with that. And I think I am working on it. The pants I am wearing now have a waistline I haven't seen in ten years. (Sorry guys, I'm not giving up the waistline inches.)

I had an appointment later that morning to have the stitches taken out of my foot, but I got a call from my boss. He was installing a central air system, and the building inspector for Temple Terrace was not satisfied with our permit paperwork and I had to deliver the proper documents by 2pm or the full weight of the Reich would be brought down on my employer. So, I rescheduled the foot doctor for Tuesday and rushed to work to obey the orders of my government masters.

But here is the biggest accomplishment. The clinic I go to has two waiting areas. In the past, both TVs had CNN. About a month ago I called the Patient Advocate to lobby about getting one of those TVs switched to FNC. Compared to the real needs of patients this was a petty request. But if I was going to watch a news network that pandered I may as well watch one that pandered to me. Monday morning one of the TVs was on FOX. I was victorious!

This doesn't surprise me

Pastor Steve H called me up to express shock over this.

Should this his surprise you? Barb and these other senators could be making 3-5 times their salary in the private sector without having to leave their home town.

Why do they give up this payday to fly across the country? Why is Larry Craig forced to look for love in the men's room of the Minneapolis Airport while flying between DC and Idaho when he could make more money and never have to go farther than Brokeback Mountain in nearby Wyoming?

Chuckie Schumer could be making millions as a corporate lawyer in NYC instead of toiling for less than $200K per year in DC.

All of the above, if the chose the private sector, would be living in anonimity. No Wikipedia pages, no "The Honorable Senator Foghorn Leghorn", no press conferences, no fawning media.

Strom Thurmond didn't leave until he was 100 years old. Robert Byrd is 90 and in a wheelchair and won't give it up. Ted Stevens has been in DC longer than I have been alive and it took an indictment to get him to go.

They are addicted to the power.

Dress Code...

...for Brooksville, Florida city employees.

A Florida city has written common sense into its employee dress code: Wear underwear to work.

The Brooksville city council recently approved a revised dress code as part of its effort to update existing policies.

The revision instructs employees to observe "strict personal hygiene," including the use of deodorant. It lists "the observable lack of undergarments and exposed undergarments" as "unacceptable attire."

It also prohibits clothing with foul language or messages promoting drug use, "sexually provocative" garments, halter tops and piercings anywhere except the ears.

Repeat offenders can be fired.

The city council approved the dress code 4-1. Mayor Joe Bernadini opposed the revision, saying the underwear edict "takes away freedom of choice."

My question is: For how many city employees would the must wear underwear to work rule be a deal breaker?

Andy Warhol was almost right

In the future, everybody will be on Facebook.

My pastor's on Facebook. My coblogger's on Facebook. Half the Internet is on the Internet again - on Facebook. Now I'm on Facebook. Half of us know jack-all about what to do there, but there we are.

I fear it will be one more in a long line of things I wind up neglecting and then feeling guilt about.

Facebook!

(small update - it's stupid, but I seriously feel bad for my story characters who only kind of exist... if I shirk on posting, well, at least all my blogfriends have actual lives to fall back on. But my poor characters got nothin' but me, and I'm indifferent to their needs, and they lead unfulfilled lives dreaming of all the things they could be doing and seeing, if only I got off my lazy ass and put a pen in my hand. [Although, I never write standing up, so ironically I have to get ON my lazy ass after getting a pen. Yeah, I'm sure they're just cracking up about that one: "He's not lazy enough to save us from limbo! Our fate is a wry symbol of modern living, hurrah!" I'm sure THAT makes it ALL BETTER.] So yeah, now Facebook gets in the way of their hopes, purpose, and very existence, and I'm a terrible terrible person.)

New Jersey and infomercial products

...perfect together.

NEWTON--A Snuggie-wearing thief who allegedly attempted to break into the Main Street Grocery on Friday night was thwarted when witnesses spied him stacking crates to gain access through a window, police said.

You can stay warm while answering the phone! Great for home, camping out, even at the stadium! But not so much while trying to visit a business after-hours.

Police responded to the area at 11:30 p.m. after receiving reports from a nearby home of several people, including a man wearing dark clothing described as a trench coat, who were attempting to burglarize the closed Main Street store.

Grammarian's note - it is the report that had several people in it, not the nearby home. Police responded when someone reported that several people were trying to break into the store. Thank you; carry on.

Brandon Ryzner-Meredith, 18, of Newton, was found in the area, wearing a dark blue "Snuggie" blanket and a hooded sweatshirt, said Detective Lt. Michael Richards. A Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves that is heavily advertised and satirized on TV.

For those of you scoring at home: that's a guy wearing a Snuggie, busted during a smash-and-grab by Cosmo Kramer. You can take things from there.

Ryzner-Meredith was taken into custody and charged with criminal mischief, criminal attempt of burglary, possession of burglar's tools, and appearing in public in a versatile fleece bathrobe, police said. He was released, pending a Superior Court appearance.

Three Newton teens, who allegedly had fled the area due to extreme embarassment, were found by police over the next few days. Police tracked the youths due to their inability to control sputtering gales of laughter. Taken into evidence was a Flip video file of Ryzner-Meredith attempting to explain that the Snuggie was not really his, that some buddy asked him to hold it for a minute. They charged two 15-year-old boys and a 17-year-old boy in the attempted burglary, but agreed that the defendant looked like a total doofus, and called the video "key evidence AND comedy gold."

I may have supplied a few key details that were absent from the last two paragraphs.

You thought wrong, kiddo

You know... five years ago, if I had to make a list of impossible things that would never happen, you performing a coup de grace, by pulling a Michael Hutchense on yourself, would have been right at the top of the list. But I'd be wrong, wouldn't I?

In this case, yes, we all were. There's little else can be said, either - except two things. First and most obviously, that it's a terrible and sad end for anyone. Second, that it's likely enough that Mr. Carradine had company, with said company fleeing the scene before his discovery. We may never know for sure. This is Bangkok, after all. Can't be too careful with your company.

I was going to see this movie..

..that is, until now.

{Megan Fox} The Transformer's bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates -- reluctantly -- what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. "I'd barter with him," she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, "and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?"

What other industry besides Hollywood insults its own customers?

I have a small list of actors which I will not spend money to see because I would be too distracted by remarks they have made off-camera to enjoy the film. This wench has made the list.

Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System??!?

Both Nina and Kate P, super literary types, have determined where in the library they would be located, based solely on name. (As compared to Kate P being, y'know, an actual human librarian by profession, and thus being located at the circulation desk or something.)

Sounded like something to try. My result was:

328 - the legislative process

Class: 300 Social Sciences

Contains: Books on politics, economics, education and the law.

What it says about you: You are good at understanding people and finding the systems that work for them. You like having established reasoning behind your decisions. You consider it very important for your friends to always have your back.

Quite interesting. A decent read on my personality, I think, and probably closer on the subject matter than I like to let on. I don't necessarily enjoy politics and stuff, but I do like reasoning through my decisions, trying to understand people, and it's important for friends to have each other's backs.

The website also lets you "cheat" by putting in your birthday and "favorite 3-digit number." I know very few people who just happen to have a favorite three-digit number. Anyway, based on birthday I'm some Eastern European reference material; based on the number of a former apartment I used to live in, I'm in this section...

231 God

Class: 200 Religion

Contains: The Bible and other religious texts, books about the general philosophy and theory of religion

What it says about you: You don't mind thinking about the unknown or other very big ideas. You will never feel like your work is finished. The 200-series is dominated by Christian topics, so you may feel like you're constantly surrounded by Christians.

Despite having a school librarian wife, I had no idea that my former apartment would wind up being in the God section of the virtual library. The part about being surrounded by Christians is certainly true, since we were all from the same college prayer group.

PS - the source of the quote in the post. Yeah, so that's a "made of awesome" tag, right there.

I caved

Just like the Spider, I've jumped on the ol' Facebook bandwagon.

It's a little strange. Every time you update your profile it posts the info to "The Wall," as if the event just happened. According to Facebook I got married about a half-hour ago.

My life used to be less confusing to me before computers.

Sing Along With Me

Come let us worship and bow down
Let us kneel before Obama our god our maker
For he is our god, and we are the people of his pasture
And the sheep of his hand
Just the sheep of his hand

At 5:54 am, local time...

And I'll call down thunder and speak the same
As my voice fills the sky with flame
Might and glory gonna be my name
And they'll light my way
--- The Grateful Dead, "Estimated Prophet"

Nobody left word at the front desk, but they decided to help us out. At 5:54 am we were shocked awake by two extraordinary thunderclaps. I'm a heavy sleeper but there was no way to avoid these things - they weren't just booms, they were straight from a Norse Epic. They deserved Jack Kirby captions across the sky - "K-K-RRRR-AAA-CK-ARRROOOMMM" or something. They were like portents, one immediately following the other, both unbelieveably crisp and clear, perfectly enunciated strikes. The accompanying lightning had to be in full Blu-Ray HD to do them justice.

They seemed to pierce literal holes in the sky: as they faded, we heard rain softly start to fall, perfectly rising in volume to replace the sound of its heralds. I've never heard anything like it before, and unless I live to hear the angels' trumpets on the last day, I don't know if I will again. It was an amazing moment, and I'm glad I was there.

Escape From New Jersey

In this post from National Review's the Corner, a study from good old RU published in October of 2007 says that an increasing amount of Jerseyites are escaping, and many are joining me:

(Between 2000 and 2005) Seven of the top ten destination states of New Jersey out-migrants were in the South and West: Florida (188,704), California (55,431), North Carolina (50,913), Virginia (48,454), Georgia (38,581), Texas (33,895), and Maryland (31,449). These states accounted for 41 percent of all New Jersey out-migration during the period.

Maybe with the possibility of a new governor this trend may change. Until then, my New Jersey brothers and sisters, look south and come to the light!

I'm on Facebook

Some friends invited me to be their Facebook friend. So I set up a Facebook page.

My curiousity got the better of me. I searched for this woman's Facebook page.

And I found it. She has a married name. If I want to learn more I must ask to be added as a friend.

I will be the fifth starter for the Rays before that happens. I will run away like brave Sir Robin.

But now people can find me.

There and Back Again

Let's clear some things up. I got an infection in my left foot. this put me in the VA hospital for three days, 5/19 -21. I left chock full of oral antibiotics.

The next night, Friday 5/22, my infection flared up again. Saturday morning I went back into the VA hospital and didn't get out until Thursday night.

A few observations:

The VA does a good job of meeting any religious or spiritual needs you may have. If you are Catholic, someone will come around with the Eucharist. I was asked about any dietary requirements, for example, no pork if you are Jewish or Muslim.

Here's one advantage of having neuropathy. The foot doctor was looking at a broken blister on the top of my foot, right behind the big toe. He asked me if I had any feeling in my foot. I told him I had a little, and then he took out a scalpel and cut into me like Mr. Bingley cutting into a roast. Clear down to the bone. Didn't feel a thing.

I received my first CT scan. I went to the vascular clinic to measure my circulation. They even took the blood pressure of my big toe. Slapped a little cuff around it.

A lot of the medical people were carrying on about the fact that with the exception of a half cigarette when I was twelve and a cigar when I was 23, I have never used tobacco. One doctor asked me if I threw up after the cigar. I said yes, but that was probably because of the scotch. I don't know what the big deal is. I don't smoke cigarettes for the same reason I don't eat raisins - I just don't like them. I also had more money for booze.

Knowing that I would be admitted, I brought a book that my pastor gave me when he came back from here. It was a commentary on Ephesians by an evangelical named James Mongomery Boice. It didn't have too many big words in it. It even included a paragraph about the Eagles threatened move to Phoenix in the late 1980's (Pastor Boice is from Philly). This book became a conversation piece. Honest to goodness, I didn't thump my Bible once. But a few doctors, nurses and patients asked me about this book and what was in it.

I was sent home Thursday night with a PICC line. This morning a nurse is coming to my apartment to show me how to give myself IV antibiotics and to dress my wound. On Monday morning I am supposed to go to podiatry. My first day back on the job may be Tuesday.

It's (blank)'s fault!

No... not Bush. It's the oldest (blank) in the book - the Church.

MIAMI (Reuters) – A popular U.S. Roman Catholic priest photographed frolicking with a woman on a Florida beach announced on Thursday he had joined the Episcopal Church to pursue the priesthood in a faith that allows married clergy.

"I've seen with my own eyes how many brothers of mine serve God as married men and with the blessing of having their own families," said Father Alberto Cutie, whose removal from his Miami Beach parish prompted public debate about the Catholic Church's celibacy requirement for priests.

Now, I want to start here: I feel for the guy. No joke. He wants to serve God, and he feels that his vocation is marriage. He and I have that much in common. One of the things that the seminary is meant to do is to bring a man's vocation into focus. Every year plenty of seminarians realize that their call is to raise families instead of parishes, and they leave, as they ought. Sometimes there's a miss and someone is ordained, as Fr. Cutie is, or they take a lifetime vow in a lay order, and they realize along the way that God's call is to marriage. And this is what brings me to the upsetting thing about all of this.

The thing is, that nobody wakes up one morning with a huge lump on his head and a collar on his neck. Fr. Cutie knew going in about the discipline required of Roman Catholic priests. If he didn't, there is one last reminder at the ordination ceremony:

You ought anxiously to consider again and again what sort of a burden this is which you are taking upon you of your own accord. Up to this you are free. You may still, if you choose, turn to the aims and desires of the world (licet vobis pro artitrio ad caecularia vota transire). But if you receive this order (of the subdiaconate) it will no longer be lawful to turn back from your purpose. You will be required to continue in the service of God, and with His assistance to observe chastity and to be bound for ever in the ministrations of the Altar, to serve who is to reign.

By stepping forward despite this warning, when invited to do so, and by co-operating in the rest of the ordination service, the candidate is understood to bind himself equivalently by a vow of chastity. He is henceforth unable to contract a valid marriage, and any serious transgression in the matter of this vow is not only a grievous sin in itself but incurs the additional guilt of sacrilege.

This is the standard. The Church gets a lot of flak for the standard, but it deals in free will, and a person understanding and freely choosing to bind oneself has the right to know what, exactly, that choice entails. It's hardly a big secret, in any case. And there is always the understanding on the Church's part of the people she shepherds and cares for. Had Fr. Cutie later realized that he had taken vows that God had not asked of him, he could go to his bishop and ask to be laicized, to be relieved of his vows and office in order to pursue his true vocation.

Well, that's not exactly the order he went in.

He was relieved of his duties at St. Francis de Sales parish in Miami Beach earlier this month after the entertainment magazine TVnotas published photos of him in swim trunks, snuggling and kissing a woman on the sands of a beach in Florida.

Cutie later said he had fallen in love with the woman and broken his vow of celibacy. He apologized for his behavior, but told the Univision Spanish-language television network, "I didn't stop being a man just because I put on a cassock. There are trousers under this cassock."

The apology is good - but the line about not being a man anymore? That's grade-A balderdash. Bravo Sierra, padre. The Church didn't ask him or any priest not to be a man anymore. The concept that a man is only equal to his sexual faculties is completely insulting.

At his news conference, Cutie described his move as "going into a new family" and said he would continue to proclaim God's word. "I will always love the Catholic Church and all its members who are committed in their faith and have
enriched my life in so many ways," he said.

So... why, then, would Fr. Cutie move to the Episcopalian church, when the Eastern rite Catholic churches permit married clergy? Of course, you'd have to married first, and as we have seen, this is not the case here; but again, there is the active ministry of the Church. There is the authority to grant dispensations at need. The saying, "Hard cases make bad law," is applicable here - the whole disicpline ought not to be overturned just for one wayward and willful man reneging on his vows, but it's possible to do something in the individual situation. That isn't possible once Fr. Cutie decides to bail.

The Spider is fond of saying that pastors are high-value targets of the evil one, and this is why. The more of them in high-profile spots that take public falls, the better his business is. It's part of the general strategy of those who oppose the Church to bring up its faults:

Some Catholics expressed sympathy for Cutie and said it was time to end the celibacy rule. Others said that, given the recent scandals involving U.S. priests sexually abusing young boys, and Irish priests raping, flogging and enslaving children in Catholic schools, they were relieved that Cutie had merely become involved with an adult woman.

Again, I'm forced to call complete BS. Who are these "some Catholics," and who are these "others?" No quote? I'm going to just come right out and say that every single one of these some and others are either theoretical, or people in the newsroom. No doubt, one could find examples of these. Fair enough. Why, then, were NO such examples found by either the two reporters or the two editors credited? They certainly found room to list up some of the more horrible sins and scandals of the recent past.

All of this could have been mitigated. I have no idea if Fr. Cutie ever did come forward to his bishop or to his confessor. It seems likely that he either didn't, or that nobody close to him was able to convince him that this was a bad idea; he went forward with this canoodling, and broke his vows. Then he held this little presser in order, not to apologize, but to justify himself by leaving the Church and putting the blame on them, instead of squarely on himself.

In the media of course he comes off like an honest fellow, caught in conflicting loyalties, and stuck with no other way out... and the media, which can't really be bothered to do even the online research I've done tonight, will gladly play this up as the acceptable storyline, with his own complicity. It's hard enough that the foes of the Church exclude any good she does or any virtue she teaches in favor of scandal and crime; worse that the good padre decided to join with those foes by blaming the Church for his own faults. It's the big danger in becoming well-known in general: it becomes more about the person and less about what they're known for. It can be politics, or music, or acting, or nearly anything else one can think of - the person stops doing their best work because they focus on themselves rather than the work. Fr. Cutie's attitude here is not that he ought to sacrifice to be a priest; in effect it's the reverse and the congregation has to sacrifice to have him - he has to be married and satisfy both his own needs and the needs of his family, first. And that's the congregation he wants to get - what of the one he's just betrayed? The priesthood is not all about him.

His words at this press conference would not be out of place coming from the mouth of any starlet going to rehab, or suspended athlete, or elected official caught cheating on their spouse. In this case, the wronged spouse is Christ Himself, which makes it doubly terrible.

Small updates

The Spider and I talked on Saturday. He is unfortunately back on the DL with his foot difficulty. The docs really want to keep a close eye on the infection - this is basically something they've told him to stay on top of; it won't just clear up on its own.

He should be back in the game in a couple of more days. In the meantime, you're stuck with me.

Sorry for being gone

Two issues:

1) my home PC crashed and I had to reboot it to factory settings. I haven't yet restored Internet service yet because of

2) I spent Tuesday through Thursday in the VA hospital with an infection in my left foot.

I am back @ work but I have a three day pile of papers on my desk. Went I dig out I will tell the tale in full.

Clamorous! AI season eight finale

Not a recap like normal - SarahK and Tracey have a joint effort on that front - but general impressions from watching.

(Speaking of Tracey and watching - I hear tell that the Beefy Peach won Dancing with the Stars. Congrats, Tracey!)

Adam and Kris with a K (otherwise known as Hal Sparks Jr.), all in white, like the Davids from last season's finale. Then, all the thirteen in white. Ha, even Matt's ubiquitous fedora is white. They look like Kryptonians from the opening of the first Superman movie with Brando. (Hopefully the Phantom Zone will come down and swoop off with Kara.) They all wanna start fight. I think this is a bad idea. Mike Sarver could take the other twelve by himself, I think.

NF: Who's that?
LB: Who?
NF: Pause it. THAT guy, with the curly hair.
LB: That's the first guy sent home.
NF: Oh, yeahhhh.... Whassisface. I didn't even recognize him.

Nice to see Alexa Grace getting so much camera time, considering that she went about five weeks too early.

Hey, that was Carly Smithson? Darn. We skipped the hometown stuff on DVR because normally the hosts are completely intolerable. My bad, folks.

David Cook! My wife is quite pleased. If he formed an Idol supergroup with Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry, we'd pretty much have to follow them around on tours, like Deadheads. "Permanent," a fine song. Why can't Idol write singles like this?

Oh, the Idol Awards.... Hey, it's Pippa's little brother! Wow, some of this was so painful. I'd forgotten most of these dudes. Wild plaid jacket, dude. "American Idol - so easy, a caveman could sing it." And, the mortal lock of this segment, Nick Mitchell. Who is in the audience. Who "isn't prepared." Who immediately strips down to the Normal Gentle getup and rocks out. Actually, he's pretty funny with all of this. I didn't hate it. All is forgiven, Nick. I'm sorry I've been so horrid in the past. HAHAHAHAHA Ryan's got his red headband and giant glasses. Love it. I could totally see this as Ryan's actual sophomore year photo from gym class, in a good way.

Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah... we love the Queen around these parts. Her whole career is pretty much a "Good for her!" from the rapping to the jazz album to the acting to the Maybelline spots to being true to herself. She just seems like a decent, cool woman who just happens to be famous and talented. By the way, the Queen is demolishing Lil here. You can barely hear Lil at all when they go together - maybe she's just mouthing the words now. Poor Lil.

Kris with a K, with Keith Urban... with a K. Or something. It's good.

LB - you know, I actually would be good with either of these guys winning.

For the record - this is HUGE. My wife was a big-time Adam fan, still is, but Hal Sparks Jr. (Ladybug picked up the resemblance) opened the door just a crack... and now he's gone and kicked it down with a winning smile and open-mic vibe. And my wife has much better instincts for this sort of thing. She's always picking out Idols and Hell's Kitchen winners and Next Top Models weeks ahead of time.

Fergie comes out. She's a big girl, who doesn't cry. It's all the Black-Eyed Peas, actually. They're singing - what? Uhm... Hey, nice logo, AI. For fifteen seconds. Way too long just for a cuss word. Someone must have accidentally been flashing the goods to America or something. Or maybe it was those freaky Mummenshantz dudes in the background. They are CREEPY, people. Like the Autons or something. Fail.

Another award - Best Attitude. Alexis Cohen! "Take it! Take it! Take it! I'm going in for actressing!" They should give her this award just for last season's audition. Nope, they give it to Bikini Girl, who was frankly much more annoying than attitudinous. (It is too a word.) Gee, will she be out in a bikini? Of course! And hey, she's had some work done in a predictable place. Looks dreadful. Ladybug turns to me to ask, in horror, "Do guys really like how that looks, when they're that far apart?"

Ryan: "I was going to ask what's new, but I think I can tell." BWAHAHAHA! He is really a great host, especially for a show like this. You almost don't notice everything he brings to the table. Kara comes out to sing the song she destroyed in auditions, and rocks it completely. At least Bikini Girl's jaw is slack. Kara ends by rocking a bikini herself, which could have been a dreadful backfire, but it works. Bikini Girl is completely vanquished. Well played, Ms. dioGuardi.

Alison in a duet. Don't recognize her, missed the announcement out of the room.

LB - [incredulous] CYNDI LAUPER.
NF - oh, yeah. She acts like her, doesn't she?

Forgettable performance. We also skip most of Danny with Lionel Richie, who is dressed like an old, discount Neo. Adam fulfills his glam rock destiny by performing with both KISS and Queen on the same night. Very good, of course. Kris held his own during the Queen bit, dueting with Adam on "We Are the Champions."

Next, a comedian who loves music. No lie, I guessed Steve Martin before he came out with the banjo. One point for me. I heart Steve Martin. Hey, he wrote that song - great. Not surprising, because he is terrific and talented and his "Born Standing Up" memoir is tremendous. Again, why can't Idol have anything nearly that good as that song? "I know it's a long shot, but I hope I win," he says. Heh. I wouldn't protest.

It's Tatiana del Toro winning the last Idol Award, and doing a whole bit with eluding security and singing "Saving All My Love for You" while being chased around stage. All the most annoying people of the show are either getting a little rehab or a severe comeuppance, and I couldn't be more delighted. This is turning out to be a really solid show tonight.

One hundred million votes cast for this. Ye cats. And your American Idol is.... KRIS ALLEN! Winnah, winnah, chicken dinnah. Fireworks in Conway, Ark. They give him a fifties-style microphone trophy, which he can keep on the dashboard of his new Ford Hybrid.

LB - Hey, they gave him a trophy. Do all the other Idols get them now, too?
NF - I think they have to settle for having money, fame, and a career.
LB - You know, I'm really happy for Kris. Adam didn't really need to win Idol to have a career, he just had to do well on the show. Kris did.

That's it for the show until next January - but hopefully, you'll hear more from me here on the blog before then. Just super busy lately. But I haven't forgotten you!

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Isn't there a need for this in our country?

The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAA), a part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), will pay $2.6 million in U.S. tax dollars to train Chinese prostitutes to drink responsibly on the job.

I wonder why they drink? Maybe it's because they are in a profession which is not know to build up one's self-esteem? Ya think?

What tags should I use for this post? How about these?

So Long, Suckers!

Charlie's off to D.C.!

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) will be announcing Tuesday that he will be running for the Senate, according to a source close to the governor, giving Republicans their most high-profile recruit of the 2010 election cycle.

Crist's decision puts Republicans in strong position to hold onto the seat held by retiring Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) Crist holds high approval ratings among both Republicans and Democrats, according to statewide polling, and has forged a moderate governing style that has won him widespread support.

After patching together a budget propped up by Obamabucks Charlie is going to be long gone two years from now when the bill comes due. Charlie will be pulling a McCain, showing up on the Today Show bad mouthing his party while getting his fanny kissed by Meredith Viera.

He will be in the Senate prepping for his presidential run when the Florida budget goes to H-E-double hockey sticks. All he needs is a stooge like Huckabee to draw votes away from challengers on his right (like Huck did for McCain in 2008). Crist vs. Obama in 2012. I'm sure that thrills us all.

Forget the restraining order....

...buy a gun.

TAMPA - Seven weeks ago, Richard Anthony McTear Jr. broke Jasmine Bedwell's door, hit her several times, broke items throughout her apartment, held her down, and poured household cleaner on her face and head, sheriff's deputies say.

A neighbor called deputies, and charges were filed with the state attorney's office.

Five weeks ago, McTear threatened to go to Bedwell's home and kill her infant son, according to deputies. They say he later bruised her enough for her to be taken to a hospital. More charges were filed.

Investigators say McTear followed through on his threat against her son early Tuesday by beating Bedwell, throwing the child onto a concrete floor and then kidnapping 3-month-old Emanuel Wesley Murray and throwing him out of a moving car onto Interstate 275. The infant was found dead.

McTear was arrested hours later Tuesday morning after a short chase. He is charged with first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, kidnapping, felony battery and burglary with battery.

From my home I can walk to where this poor baby lived. On my ride home from work I pass by where this monster tossed out this child onto the highway. Read this story on how the local justice system could not find a way to put this beast in a cage before he murdered the innocent.

There is no legislation, no government solution to this. Restraining order? Sure ladies, hold up that piece of paper when the crazed, coked-up ex breaks down your door and see how well it works.

If you need a restraining order, you also need a gun. If you were out in the woods being attacked by a bear or a lion you would have no issue with blowing the creature away. It is also true in the urban jungle. To save yourself and your children you must drop the beast when he gets into range.

Slash, crash, and burn - AI week of four

Part of the set fell in near the Coke Stools, so Ryan tells us that the contestants haven't had their dry run before the show proper. They're going straight into it, y'all. Each contestant will sing one song rather than two, and there will be two duets. Twenty bucks says that the Carly Smithson/Mike Johns connection gave them the idea. Hope it works out. One point gained already - with six songs total instead of eight, we'll actually hear more than 83 seconds of each song tonight. I'm wondering if Adam and whomever will try "Under Pressure," just so Adam can fulfill his destiny.

Slash mentored, because it's rock week. I think it was lame that neither AI nor Slash himself mentioned that he recorded a song with Chris Daughtry for his album. (Arguably the best song on the whole LP.) I do like that the rehearsal was with Slash and his band backing the Idols in a club. Good stuff.

Adam and Allison will be one duet, Danny and Kris with a K the other. Adam will solo first. Be advised, he has something to prove tonight, and it's rock week. I don't see anybody getting too close. He's doing Led Zeppelin, "Whole Lotta Love." Uhm... wow. Lots of plain old obvious single entendres. And Adam is not exactly Mr. Subtlety. I'd have thought they would make him sing something else. It's not like he can't pull off Plant's banshee wailing, but why not "Heartbreaker" or "Immigrant Song" or "The Ocean" or, well... anything else?

Lord Emo power scream aside, it was pretty good, actually, like B+ good. He'll be fine. Kara calls him a rock god. She's dressed like she was just in a Bananarama video. She's babbling about 70's classic rock, 80's glam rock, and Nine Inch Nails. I think Trent Reznor just threw up in his mouth a little. Simon is of the opinion that this is pretty much the high point of the night.

Allison is perched under the Coke Stools, directly below the half-crumbled bit of the set. Good call, AI! Ha, she went to Adam's "hair girl" for her do this week. So many jokes here... She ruins the fun by suggesting that she wants to do Joplin's "Cry Baby" or Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love." Yes to the second, a huge NO to the first. Grace Slick pronounced her words, m'dear. At all costs Allison should be distancing herself from Joplin, not inviting the comparison. And of course, being 17 and all, she went with "Cry Baby." Complete mimicry. It hurts her in comparison with the real thing, and especially following Adam. Kara thought it was a good idea, but everyone else knows better, even Paula. Randy gave her a "keeping it real" and Simon suggested she should have done Queen instead.

The first duet is Danny/Kris, doing "Renegade" by Styx. I saw this live last year at the Basie Theater, by the genuine article. This is pretty good stuff, though. The harmonies are excellent. Enjoyable.

It's the K's turn. He wanted to do "Revolution." (Funny aside - my iPod player at work drops half the songs out on certain tunes; Hendrix, the Doors, and the Beatles are the most common victims. Today I heard what Revolution would have sounded like without George Harrison. It doesn't do that with the earphones or in the car, so I think it's the docking station itself.) At the last moment he wasn't feeling it so he chose "Come Together" instead. He's hilarious during the jam with Slash, who gives him a guitar so he can play with the band. "I'm using Slash's guitar and he's playing right next to me, I almost peed my pants." Hahahaha!

Performance time. I think he's good and all, though it's clearly not his thing. The judges were a little harder on him than he deserved. (Randy liked the guitar playing.) Personally I'd put him above Allison this week - she could have and should have done much more, considering. Kris got more out of himself than she from herself, but he could be in real trouble, and that's a shame.

Danny's turn. He's singing "Dream On." Mistake. Michael Johns was actually good on this last year (though it's the week he went home, it was bogus - he really was being punished for his "Day in the Life" the week before). Plus, there's an omen in the club jam, when Danny can't get on top of that insane high falsetto at the end. Slash says that last wail at the end is super-important...

Oooh. Oh dear oh dear. This is bad. He's pitchy all over and the last wail is more of a screech. Simon calls it a "horror film scream" and that's about it. Ladybug calls it "a valiant effort." I call it the worst of the night. Simon says he thinks he's safe. Not if there's justice.

It's the second duet - Allison and Adam, performing "Slow Ride" by Foghat. (Chortle.) Seemed a lot more like tow soloists than a true duet, though they're very good rockers. Kara says they made each other better and forced each other to raise their game. I got just the opposite: there's just a difference between a duet and two people trying to outdo each other. In retrospect they were wise to avoid the Bowie/Mercury example, because it would just emphasize that difference. Those guys worked for each other, not strove against each other.

Adam calls Allison "his little sister." (Must... not make... obvious joke... must... resist...) The DVR loses Paula and Simon's comments. The crowd chants "top two" at the pair, and that's probably correct but a little misleading - it's more like a Top One and a distant two/three, with an afterthought. The trouble is, I badly fear that the K is the afterthought. Didn't go last, didn't go first, and despite the name spelling, he isn't the last girl. It's classic middle child syndrome. I really think he was the second best tonight, and has the strongest overall body of work this year outside of Adam. Danny should have cost himself the contest tonight, but Kris is in peril.

Everybody flirts... everybody fails...

...sometimes.

Kate's story, linked above, took me right back to college. I was rolling along in a campus bus, minding my own business, and there was quite a lovely lass sitting across from me. Now, understand that this is Rutgers, 40,000 or so undergrads, so there are lovely lasses wandering about everywhere - but this was quite a lovely lass. So, ever the charming goofball, I smiled. She smiled back. It was as far beyond my smile as the summer sun is beyond a match in the wind. But hey, strike another match, right? Smiled back, sort of abashed, but still smiled.

So this goes on for a minute or two, until the bus reaches her stop. She gets up, crosses over to me before getting off - leans over to whisper in my ear (!!!!)...

"Lose the hat."

Then she was gone forever.

Jon Gruden

Just another Saturday in a park in Tampa. Some youngsters are playing flag football and we got our picture taken with one of the coaches.

Yes, that is former Buc coach Jon Gruden in the center of the photo. Last fall it would have cost you $75 to see him coach football, today you can see him coach 12-year-olds for free. And he had that offense cooking. If the Bucs had scored as much as these kids did, Coach Gruden would still be working on Sundays.

Coincidentally, half our church music team is in this picture. Let's make introductions: The laundry bag with legs and the straw hat is me, male melody. The young lady next to me is Sandra, female alto harmony. BTW, Sandra is a real singer; I just pretend to be Steve Walsh. Then Coach Gruden and Tim, the guitar player who was in his own room with headphones.

The youngster in the black shirt is Christian, who played on the opposing team. Christian's mother is taking this photo. I'm sure as soon as Christian's mom sees this she will email me the name of the youngster in the green shirt.

BTW, it was May 2nd and hotter than Gehenna out there.

In Enemy Hands

Thursday night one of Tampa's local UHF stations showed this WWII sub movie. It stars William H. Macy and appeared to be under 10 years old.

The Germans spoke German with English subtitles. I could follow about half of it. One of the Germans said something that was translated by subtitle as "damn".

But it wasn't "damn". It was one of George Carlin's Seven Words, the first one on his list, if you must know. There probably aren't a whole lot of native German speakers in the local viewing area. I may have been the only one who caught it.

Don't get me wrong - I have no plans to call the FCC. I just thought it was curious.

I'm Whipped Into a Frenzy

This is exciting.

Top Republican officials and lawmakers plan to announce on Thursday a series of town hall-style meetings about their ideas for shaping the country. With the backing of the House and Senate GOP leaders, the new group will operate outside the Republican National Committee and highlight conservative policy ideas and draw contrasts with Democratic President Barack Obama.

This "new group" is full of exciting Republicans with fresh ideas.

Like 72-year-old, just got his butt whipped by Obama John McCain.

Was Arlen Spector on the list till he jumped? Where's Christine Todd Whitman? That trailblazing rock-ribbed conservative Charlie Crist?

Wonder why I'm NPA?

Bought And Paid For

Maybe this explains "Green Week" on NBC. Maybe this explains MSNBC's love for Obama. If you scroll down to FDIC totals, you will see that General Electric, the parent company of NBC has received $41 billion of a pledged $126 billion in Obama bucks.

Other than the amount of money, is there any difference between NBC and these ladies?

The Chief

The Chief is my eldest brother who is a retired chief petty officer (CPO) living in Jacksonville with Mrs. Chief. The Chief has only one kidney (he actually has two, the other being in my little sister for the last 13 years. My brothers and I were vying to be the donor but the Chief’s kidney was deemed most worthy of our sister).

Around the time he gave up his kidney he gained a wife. A wonderful Catholic lady. And here is where this tale begins.

The Chief was going to go out with two of his Navy buddies for a bachelor celebration. Being a sober person I was asked to drive him to these destinations. Having been sober for ten years at the time, I saw some delivery systems for adult beverages of which I was unfamiliar. For example, waitresses would carry test tube racks containing test tubes filled with colored liquids. I believe these were called “shooters”.

After visiting a few of these places, the Chief was muevo boracho. That’s when his buddies talked him into going to a strip joint.

This was going to be tough for me. Since I got sober and started trying to get my situation straight with Jesus I’ve been staying out of those kinds of places. But I made a promise to the Chief and I had to keep it.

While driving to the strip joint I prayed to God. “God, I do not know how You are going to do it, but I need to get bailed out of this.”

Friends, there is surely a God who involves Himself with the affairs of men. The Lord answered my prayer by reaching down from heaven and touching my brother.

And the Chief threw up all over the inside of my car. He apologized, told me to take him home right before passing out.

I was never as happy as I was cleaning it up. Thank You Jesus for the puke!

Insert your own joke here

The Fox Network will not be broadcasting the president's primetime message. They will be showing their regularly scheduled programming.

Which tonight is a show called "Lie to Me".

As for me, it's Wednesday night so I will be worshipping the real Messiah.

Spector the Defector

Arlen Spector on March 17th:

I am staying a Republican because I think I have an important role, a more important role, to play there. The United States very desperately needs a two-party system. That's the basis of politics in America. I'm afraid we are becoming a one-party system, with Republicans becoming just a regional party with so little representation of the northeast or in the middle atlantic. I think as a governmental matter, it is very important to have a check and balance. That's a very important principle in the operation of our government. In the constitution on Separation of powers.

The first, second, third, and only reason that Spector is switching parties is to avoid getting his fanny kicked on the GOP primary. All this talk of the party moving too far to the right is Bravo Sierra considering the hardcore right-winger the GOP had for a presidential candidate last year.

Spector claims that he will not change his rejection of union card check. When he announced that he wouldn't support card check he said that he would change his mind if the economy improves (which should be in 2011 after he is safely re-elected). I predict that if he faces a card check supporter in the PA Dem primary the economy will be improving very quickly.

The most expensive marijuana in America...

…is the joint former UF Gator Percy Harvin smoked before the NFL combine. Add concerns about his durability and his Wonderlic score, Percy drops down to the 22nd pick in the draft. I hope it was good weed, because I’m guessing it cost him $20 million.

Here in Buccaneer land, the peasants are revolting over the Bucs first pick. Our worst fears (that our new head coach had a man crush on K-State QB Josh Freeman) were realized. The name Bucs fans are comparing this pick to is that Hall-of-Famer Trent Dlifer.


Not that there is anything wrong with the fourth-best QB in a conference that played no defense, but it would have been nice to pick up a badly needed DE or LB (they picked a DE later, but they missed some really good ones to go with Freeman.

Minor sport, major stupid

A lot of times, we hockey fans are accused of taking our sport and favorite teams a little too seriously. I usually laugh at those suggestions - ESPN is currently running 22 hours per day of NFL draft coverage (the other two hours are poker). Either Mel Kiper Jr. sleeps with his eyes open and his mouth running, or they've finally crossed the Uncanny Valley and we're watching CGI half the time. (I think I saw "MK-II" stamped across his hair last night, just for a split-second.)

Still, I have to admit that sometimes hockey reporters and writers take things a mite too far, such as Jim Kelley's encouraging advice to Montreal goaltender Carey Price:

It won't ease the sting of losing to the Bruins in four straight. It won't take away the pain of being mocked by his own team's fans after he was beaten for four goals in the first 33 minutes of Montreal's last-chance game. This was a Canadiens team of which much was expected and precious little was delivered. It will, however, provide a ray of hope. A lifeline the likes of which kept the captain of the Maersk Alabama afloat until the sharpshooters arrived.

(Emphasis mine, as if it really needed it.)

Montreal once rioted when the league commissioner appeared in the Forum after suspending Maurice Richard... That was fifty-some years ago, so I doubt that Price has to look over his shoulder when going out to get the mail in the morning. I mean, if Eagles fans haven't burned down half of Philadelphia by now, then the kid is probably safe. But even if he was a little worried, do you think he read SI.com this morning and thought, "Whew. Jim Kelley's right. I don't have to request that trade to Phoenix so nobody will ever find me."

To recap: "losing hockey series at age 22" = "held hostage by pirates on the high seas 8,000 miles from home." "Booing" = "threat of imminent death." "Possible future success playing a game on ice" = "dramatic military rescue." And while we're at it, "Jim Kelley" = "juuuuuuuust a little over the top."