Thursday, May 25, 2006

Why it's hard to be a Mets fan

...because they'd rather keep an easily-replaceable commodity like a good outfield prospect than try to acquire an All-Star quality starting pitcher like Barry Zito or Dontrelle Willis.

...because the current starting rotation is sort of like the Mouseketeers - Cubby, Annette, and a load of other guys you've never heard of.

...because Cubby and Annette are, respectively, 48-year old Pedro Martinez and 53-year old Tom Glavine.

...because, to bolster this group, the Mets recently acquired 72-year old Orlando Hernandez - and he's still better than Jose "Beans" Lima.

...because all of this is happening but I'm wasting all my bandwidth talking about Barry Blargin' Bonds - and all my off-line time researching him.

...because I don't get paid dime one for any of that bandwidth or research, while Skip Bayless is still profitably employed to yell stupidly at Woody Page on television, when he isn't condescending to all of us in his columns.

...because after the Braden Looper debacle last season, when he pitched the entire year without telling the team that he was injured and required surgery, Victor Zambrano wound up trying the same thing this season.

...because the team traded away Scott Kazmir for Zambrano, when he's not even the best pitcher among people with his last name.

...becuase now I get to watch Kazmir strike out 10 guys for Tampa every fifth day for the next fifteen years.

...because I miss Bob Murphy's broadcasts.

...because I'm afraid to talk about the resurgence of our center fielder - indeed, I fear to even name him lest my Sports Jinx powers inflict a dreadful freak injury. (Seriously, his head may pop off and fall over the centerfield wall like the first "Naked Gun.")

...because the Mets took two of three from the Yanks last week, but all anyone noticed was the game they blew a 4-0 lead in the ninth and lost.

...because, after the NHL playoffs (which I can't even watch anyway without OLN), all I've got until September is the inevitable "lost 11 of 14 games to drop behind the suddenly-hot Braves" story.

...because they have great home white uniforms, but insist on wearing the goofy stripes or the even goofier black jerseys at every opportunity.

...because, despite all of that, I will still watch and still live and die with them.

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