Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I felt that all the way here in Jersey

Our blogpal WunderKraut has a running feature called "I Wish I Had Written That." Today's Lileks is certain to make the cut. Heck, I wish I had written it, too - especially the fun parts.

The subject is an essay written for the CBC in Canada, basically calling Sarah Palin a hick from nowhere appealing to backwoods cousin-wedding gun-toters. [By "essay written" I mean "screechy elitest pamphlet droppings an eighth-grader would be embarrassed to claim."] This sat ill with the Mighty Lileks, who brought forth the enduring power of his awesome against the writer, one Heather Mallick - sort of like shooting a mosquito with a howitzer. The resulting dope-slap probably fooled half of Toronto into thinking there had been a minor earthquake.

Plenty of good stuff, including some fun bits:

"Cleverist” [sic] is a matter of opinion, but I’d suggest that when Mark Steyn gets a haircut, the shorn pieces fall to the floor and form, at random, cleverer observations in the form of Chinese characters.


Rural people generally don’t like cities. That’s why they’re rural. As opposed to certain urbanites, who love the rural, as long it’s all there and interesting with faded painted signs and lovely small towns with farms and antique shops in case they want to go for a drive and get some apples or a lamp or something. Aside from that, they can screw themselves.

And, the one that still has me suppressing peals of laughter:

I don’t know what “violently rich” means, except that it certain[ly] sounds bad – like you walked up to Tony Rezko and punched him until a nice house deal fell out of his pockets – but yes, most Americans want to be rich, at least as rich as Obama, and there is nothing wrong with this.

I could go through James Lileks' wastebasket and find stuff he sneezed that is better than my best work. I am not worthy!

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