Friday, April 21, 2006

To Oldly Go

One might hope that this was a gag, but Vulcans don't observe April Fool's. So, sci-fi fans get to lumber through another Star Trek movie, come 2008.

They have noticed that James Doohan and DeForest Kelly are dead, right? Or do we get an answer to the burning question - can you do Warp Two in a Hoveround?
Daily Variety said the action would center on the early days of "Star Trek" characters James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and first outer-space mission.

Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better. Nobody else can be Mr. Spock.
The as-yet-untitled "Star Trek" feature, the 11th since 1979, is aiming for a fall 2008 release through Paramount Pictures, the Viacom Inc. unit looking to restore its box-office luster under new management, the trade paper said.

By forcing out another installment of a dead franchise, like so much tapioca on Bingo Night? Listen, this isn't like Batman, where fans will accept a different talent under the mask. And how many Bond fans still think of Connery as THE James Bond? Anyone who tries to "do" Kirk will inevitably look like Zapp Branigan. Set phasers to kibosh, Mr. Chekov.

If you really want to do this right, you may want to see how people feel about a Deep Space Nine feature - you can get the genuine cast, you can try a different kind of story, roll the Cardassians out on the big screen for once. Admittedly, the series finale burned a lot of bridges, but that's never stopped anyone before. Or, by Roddenberry, you may try a NEW crew entirely. 179th Rule of Acquisition - Supply without demand is a waste of latinum.

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