The esteemed theologian...

....Sir Elton John.

So it comes as a surprise that in Parade magazine this week, John claims that one of the central figures of Christianity is in fact a homosexual.

"I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems," he tells Parade. "On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him."

Of course Jesus is not gay. We all know from The Da Vinci Code that He was shacking up with Mary Magdalene.