I had one of these as a kid

No, not the top picture, though I agree with Mr. Lileks' narration on the subject. The bottom picture - the Space:1999 lander. Totally had one of those. Moonbase Alpha had floated serenely into the Galactic Republic, where it was regularly visited by the Millenium Falcon, Wedge in his X-Wing (I always dug Wedge - the man survived two Death Star runs, so he obviously rocked wicked hard), and whichever GI Joe guys wanted to tag along.

I think that the Star Wars guys secretly envied the Joes. Well, maybe not Vader: "Superior articulation is insignificant next to the power of the Force." But secretly, he had to wonder - I took the lava bath and got replacement limbs that don't bend? My saber comes out of my shockingly-rigid right arm? Can we blow up Planet Kenner next, my master?

But the last straw had to be when Buck Rogers showed up with bendable elbows. Oh, that is IT. We are throwing down, Smirky. You'll wish they had beaming in your stupid continuity.

I think that G-Force had to feel most left out, however. Even the Galactica toys could get by in a pinch. Sure, the Cylons couldn't get served in Mos Eisley, but I got the first edition fighters, the ones that still shot the little missiles out of the sides - before safety concerns made the manufacturer take that feature out. That was cool, so they made the cut. But G-Force were the wrong scale - a model, not a genuine toy, and with no actual figures, since each would only have been about a half-inch high relative to the Phoenix.


Their entire ship would have fit into the Falcon's cargo hold; the Star Wars guys were mean about it, too. "Hey, Luke - did you paint your landspeeder again?" Even the picture is tiny (only one I could find on short notice). Naturally I had to build an entire fleet of Lego craft to keep them company. And those Legos had it all working for them, too - at home dogfighting, hobnobbing with anyone, and nobody expecting them to be to scale everywhere. The minifigs basically looked like jawas, so it was all cool there. The smaller ships could be recon droids. They bridged the gap, they made it all work. It's no wonder that eventually there would be Star Wars Lego sets everywhere. (For a c-note I could get my own 800+ piece Falcon and come full circle, or, with patience, build my own. Some of these are actually quite awesome.)

There's one ship I wish I could show you, however: the Star Hawk, circa '81 or '82. It took batteries in the front compartment and played different FX, with two red LEDs in the nose for lasers. The back had two portable crappy fighters that popped off and reattached. I can't find even a trace of it.

OH - of course. Star BIRD. Behold the goodness. And on an unrelated note, I have to spend the next four hours on eBay for no reason whatsoever.