Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Winohawks

Peaceniks like to throw around the term “chickenhawk” for people who support the current war on Islamonazi terror but never served in the military. What would be a good term for someone who renders opinions about someone’s sobriety but was never a drunk themselves? Winohawk? Does anyone out there have a better term?

Well, I’m about to pull the winohawk card.
Ellen Ratner knows a lot about politics but she wouldn’t know alcoholism if it jumped up and bit her auf ihrem Po. Has she ever peed in a phone booth? Has she ever woken up in someone’s backyard? Has she ever thrown up on the hood of a 1976 Plymouth Volare? Has she ever been pulled over at 2 AM? “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice you were weaving.” “Weaving? I can’t even knit!”

Sure, Alberto Gonzalez is incompetent. No, he did not commit perjury. But the simple reason he can’t be canned now is because the Dems want it too badly. That’s it. I know you libs are so pure and righteous that anyone who disagrees with you can’t just be wrong, they must be mentally deficient or have a nefarious purpose. And all these libs speculating on W’s sobriety who have no idea what they are talking about.

I was a minor league wino. My dad was the Jack Murtha of winoism. When it came to drinking he had boots on the ground. Actually, Jack Murtha is the Jack Murtha of winoism- next time you see him on TV note his nose. Nothing says thirty years of hard liquor more than the Ted Kennedy nose.

I may not be posting for a while. I am going to New Jersey to help the Fly celebrate an important engagement (or, shall I say, the end of an engagement). As a sober person I offer my services as a designated driver.

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