OJ's Eleven

This is simply impossible to make up:

LAS VEGAS -- Investigators questioned O.J. Simpson and named him a suspect Friday in a confrontation at a casino hotel room involving sports memorabilia. The former football star said he went to the room to retrieve property that was stolen from him but denied breaking in.

If I'm in Vegas, there's a checklist of things I do NOT want to hear, ever, roughly in this order:

"Dealer has blackjack."
"Gimme your wallet, NOW."
"Mr. Linderman will see you now."
"Welcome to NBA All-Star Weekend!"
"Hey, 'fly, OJ's on the phone - he says he wants to drop by."

Las Vegas Metro Police Capt. James Dillon said the confrontation was reported as an armed robbery.

We have a new number one, ladies and gentlemen: "Hello, my name is Orenthal, and I represent the Ginsu Corporation."

Simpson told the AP he was conducting a sting operation to collect his belongings at the Palace Station casino. He said no weapons were involved.

He also said that the real killers were not hiding in the vicinity of the mini-bar.

Simpson told The Associated Press auction house owner Tom Riccio called him several weeks ago to say some collectors "have a lot of your stuff and they don't want anyone to know they are selling it."

Hm. If I'm an auction house owner who suspects that somebody is peddling stolen goods to me, I think that the police are a better choice for my first phone call. No doubt Riccio has an honest reason for avoiding the cops while conducting his perfectly legitimate Las Vegas sports collectibles business.

Simpson has had to auction off his sports collectibles, including his Heisman Trophy, to pay some of the $33.5 million judgment awarded in the civil trial.

This is what's normally called the key graf. Sell early, sell often, right?