Friday, January 20, 2006

Heh, the ball looks like a pumpkin

I know little of basketball. It's a tribute to Bill Simmons' skill as a fun and engaging columnist that I read his basketball commentary; at least I feel like I can get through a conversation without being totally stupid.

So, while surfing channels, I caught about a quarter-plus of the Knicks hosting Detroit. The Pistons have gone to the past two NBA Finals, winning one and losing a game 7 to the Spurs last season. They are currently 31-5. Oh, and their ex-coach is now coaching the Knicks. Heheheheh.

One thing I always thought about the NBA was that a good night meant 100 points for your team - 50 per half. The Knicks got to 50 with 25 seconds left in the third quarter, by which time Detroit had opened up a lead of 23. The rest was high comedy:
  • They panned the Madison Square Garden looking for celebs. Ah - Mariano Riviera. Spike Lee, naturally. Peter Boyle. Candice Bergen. Ed Bradley. And, somebody calling himself "Q-Tip."
  • TBS dropped the ball, using "On Broadway" by the Drifters as a bump. On the day Wilson Pickett died, it shouldn't have been hard to cue up "Funky Broadway."
  • If this rout wasn't bad enough for the New York fans, TBS decides to invite Reggie Miller into the booth for a while. Reggie, mind you, is perhaps the most notorious Knick-killer of the past 25 years, worse even than Jordan. Reggie once scored 8 points in 19 seconds to beat the Knicks in a playoff game. And now, here he is on TV, talking about what they need to do to get better. To add insult to injury, he made a hell of a lot more sense than current Knicks GM Isiah Thomas has during his floundering tenure.
  • At this point, it's time to empty the bench. I hope they put in Darko Milicic, just so Sports Guy gets 1000 words out of the game.
  • There's some dude named Jason Maxiell in there now... Marv Albert is saying how he's shorter than Knick center Eddy Curry, so they should feed him the ball: "Continue to establish the inside game," I think were his precise words. With six minutes left and Detroit up four touchdowns, the only thing established is that New York is atrocious.
  • Yes! Darko, Darko, Darko, Darko...
  • And Darko scores! TWICE!
  • So, New York is demolished, an all-time arch-rival is critiquing the franchise, your only superstar is hurt, another player is suspending for a foray into the stands, hot dog vendors are tossing on Detroit jerseys and hitting open three-pointers... and your GM would rather fight a reporter?

So the Pistons are 32-5 (details here). Hats off to Detroit. Great team playing wonderfully. Darko played six minutes, hit all three of his shots, and added three rebounds and one assist.

No comments: