Friday, May 09, 2008

A gift from the comedy gods

My wife called me from the supermarket on the way home from work, and told me what wonders she'd just found in the freezer case.

Thankfully, this is the Internet - it's really unlikely that any of you are driving or operating a band saw or something while reading this post - but you should sit down and make sure that you have comfy pillows around you when I tell you this. My brain is still running in circles yipping like a schnauzer on meth. Be prepared:

Edy's is making American Idol-themed ice cream.

I may pass out from laughing. Heaven help me if the Ladybug actually brings home a quart of the stuff; I could burst a vessel. The flavors -

Mint Karaoke Cookie - I can hear Simon now: "Honestly, Edy's, this was like some ghastly soft-suhve from a gloumy bouth in a smoll-town cahnivul. Sowry!"

Cookies N' Dreams - oh, Randy? "American Idol is not about dreams! It's about finding a great ice cream flavor!" Like One Million Percent Blazing Molten Bomb! Sadly, that flavor only tastes aight.

Cheesecake Diva - apparently one of the flavors wandered over from America's Next Top Model Ice Cream.

Most Orange-inal - I bet you Paula could rhyme "orange" with something. ("Uhhh.... 'door hinge'? Naaah.")

One Split Wonder - These names are the dregs, aren't they?

Let's do better for them. (My choice: "Paula's Beautiful Rainbow Soul Crunch" - tastes like vodka and demerol!) What flavors would you like to see?

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