I won't be moving to New Zealand

The USAF sent me to NZ for two weeks 29 years and 40 pounds ago. It looks like I'm stuck in the good old USA for now.

A British man who moved to New Zealand has been told by officials that his wife is too fat to join him.

Richie Trezise, 35, a rugby-playing Welshman, lost weight to gain entry to New Zealand after initially being rejected for being overweight and a potential burden on the health care system.

His wife, Rowan, 33, a photographer, has been battling for months to shed the pounds so they can be reunited and live Down Under but has so far been unable to overcome New Zealand’s weight regulations. Mr Trezise, who moved to Auckland in September after shedding two inches from his waist on a crash diet, said that if his wife was not allowed to come out by Christmas they would abandon the idea of emigrating. His employer-backed skills visa was initially rejected by immigration officials when they discovered that his body mass index, or BMI, was 42, making him morbidly obese under New Zealand regulations.

It was 29 years ago this week that I went to Christchurch, NZ for two weeks. I saw Peter Frampton in concert (and met his bass player ina bar the night before). I almost got us all killed on the way to Frampton. I made a right turn (which is like a left - across traffic) and wandered into the right lane (which in NZ is the wrong lane), but my buddies yelled at me enough to get me on the left side.

The Heroes water cooler

double UPDATE and re-BUMP - in honor of the writer's strike, I'm just letting this thread stay open for the discussion of the new episode. I will also add that if there's a huge cliffhanger, I'm going to worry that the resumption of the season is going to A) feel anticlimactic because B) it will drag along the way the first five or so episodes did here. Keep up the narrative drive!

UPDATE and BUMP - ok, it was catch-up day!

A few things I'm thinking about now that I've seen the episodes -

1. I think that the strike may well have helped the show. Instead of meandering through time, meandering through subplots, meandering through the useless Mascara Twin nonsense... we're picking up the pace.
2. The flip side to this is that some of the looming threats are being dusted off very quickly. Matt v. his dad had a nice payoff, but man was that sudden. The "catchup" episode was similar: plausible, as the way Peter remembers everything, but abrupt.
3. I think that I must revise my original theory about Sylar. [spoiler vision] It's probably not the virus - it's the drugs, the same ones Peter was on. And he's been off of them for about three or four days... which means BRAIIIIIINS. [/spoiler vision]
4. Emo-hinder is just working my last nerve. Totally. Completely. Didn't he meet that kid in India who enters people's dreams and helps them? So when Molly's trapped by the Nightmare Man, he runs to the Company like a total doofus. And from that point out he's been less than useless. To borrow a Sports Guy analogy, he is now taking things off the table.
5. Should have seen the Adam thing coming. [I wonder if he's still carrying paper over the whole Princess thing. I mean, 400 years is a long time to keep a grudge.]
6. The Reset Button remains one of the more distressing trends in this season, and its effect on Niki has now led to BIG TROUBLE. Color me annoyed.

Lots more, but let's hear what you have to say...

11/13 - Folks, I plead real life in the first degree. My dear heart and I have been out of the state two weekends in a row, following long rambling stretches of sinus malfunction and heavy work-related workloads. October has been rude to us, friends.

In short, that means that Monday has been catch-up day in the homestead. I can pour you guys the water, but I can't really talk about the episode, having seen none of it since the clocks rolled back. (On second thought, I also blame daylight savings time, which is the cause of at least 26% more evil than the next leading brand.) It's just as well. Based on the conversation so far, I fear a few of my pet theories have taken some fierce beatings. But please, feel free! I post spoiler warnings for others, but weirdly, I don't necessarily find that it ruins my enjoyment of actually seeing the episodes later - unless they're lame.

Happy Birthday Cato!

You turned 28, had nine tackles and a forced fumble in the Buc victory in Atlanta, and may have celebrated a little too much on the plane home or afterwards.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Cato June was arrested early this morning and charged with driving under the influence.

"Mistakes," a soft-spoken June said as he walked out of the jail late this morning to a waiting minivan, "bad mistakes."

Tampa police arrested June, who turned 28 on Sunday, on North Dale Mabry Highway near Hillsborough Avenue at 2:52 a.m., according to a Tampa police report. In an arrest affidavit, Tampa police Officer Peter Bucher said his radar clocked June's 2005 blue Cadillac sport utility vehicle at 66 mph on Dale Mabry Highway at Osborne Avenue. The Cadillac was in a 45 mph zone, the affidavit said.

The officer said he approached June and detected the smell of alcohol on his breath. June also had bloodshot and glassy eyes, the officer said in the affidavit.

"Field sobriety exercises were conducted," the affidavit said. "The defendant exhibited clues of impairment."

Cato was stopped about 2 miles north of Raymond James Stadium. I guess the guys fly in from Atlanta, then take a shuttle to the Ray Jay where they parked their cars.

The Bucs are 6-4 with a two game lead on the rest in the South Division. But it's a case of the one-eyed man being king in the land of the blind. We have a 37-year-old tiny QB and are on our third-string RB. If either go down, it's over.

Derek Jeter & The Taxman

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me.
- the Beatles

The NY Taxman chaseth Derek.

The taxman wants to call Derek Jeter out at home.

The Yankee captain is fighting New York officials over whether he actually lives in the state and owes millions in back taxes.

Jeter, who has played with the Bronx Bombers since 1995, owns an off-season home in Tampa, Fla., and has claimed residency in Florida for years.

But the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance insists the superstar shortstop is an Empire State resident, and is demanding back taxes, plus interest, for the years 2001 through 2003, according to court filings.

The alleged debt is "in the millions," according to a source close to the case, who added that the auditors picked those years because they believe they have the strongest arguments to make for them.

Jeter's Yankee salary is already partially taxable New York state income, but he may have been sheltering millions in endorsements and investments in the Sunshine State.
His endorsements include deals with Nike, Ford, Gatorade and Avon, in addition to memorabilia pacts.

According to Forbes, he was slated to earn $28.3 million in 2007.

This song was written by George Harrison when, after the four little moptops started to make money, he realized just how much Her Majesty's government was getting as their cut. I mean, Queen Elizabeth II is a wonderful lady but she was getting paid pretty well for not recording or touring with them.

Today in the USA NY Governor Elliot Spitzer dropped plans to tax Internet commerce, so he's looking around for some spare change and his attention has fallen on Yankee hero Derek Jeter. Jeter, like a lot of athletes and other high income earners live in Florida to enjoy the weather and no state income tax!

Do you hear that my NJ brothers and sisters? Do not be afraid! Step toward the light!

What is it about A-Rod...

...that turns people into kindergarteners?

Mark Kriegel of FoxSports.com, come on down! It's your turn to irrationally dogpile the best hitter in baseball!

Even as the news of Barry Bonds' indictment spread, the game was preparing for his eventual successor. ... But here's the question: Can you ever learn to love Alex Rodriguez?

This is either a really awkward segue, or he means “the next media-designated Public Enemy #1.” Somehow, I doubt he means “Earth’s Best Hitter of Pitched Baseballs,” which is more important. NOTE – you will almost certainly not see that fact in Kriegel’s essay.

It is difficult to imagine a worse public relations strategy than that employed by Rodriguez over the last month or so. It's as if he wanted people to hate him, which, unlike Bonds, he most certainly does not.

This just highlights Kriegel's lack of imagination. I can imagine far worse public relations, such as a wedding toast in which the best man waxes nostalgic about the bride's collegiate experiments with sapphic filmmaking. Or, if you lack imagination, you could simply follow the news for fifteen minutes and see far worse: Britney’s public year-long train wreck or OJ’s “If I Did It” nonsense, followed by his home-brewed raid on some poor shlub’s Vegas hotel room. On a scale of 1 to Mike Tyson, A-Rod’s opt-out timing rates a two at most.

Rodriguez followed yet another lackluster postseason by opting out of a record-breaking contract. It was his right, of course. But to have the opt-out all but announced on network television during the clinching game of the World Series is not a right but a blunder, and a monumentally cynical one at that.

OK, so whose blunder is it? His? Was he in the broadcast booth talking about it live? Or, was it more likely Scott Boras who mentioned it, and then Fox – YOUR EMPLOYER, MR. KRIEGEL – who chose to announce it to the baseball world when there was a good audience for it?

You may argue that this was the work of his agent, Scott Boras. And you may be partially correct. But as it pertains to contract negotiations, fans don't observe much of a distinction between agent and client, nor should they.

Boras had always been Rodriguez's guy. Boras got him the best contract in sports history. Boras was the one who invented preposterous new indices — Iconic, Performance and Network value — in an effort to inflate his client's worth. It's a little late in the game for them to be playing good cop/bad cop.

OK, so if you’re a great player, that’s Performance Value. If you’re a great draw at the park and on TV, that’s Network Value. If you’re a guy who also sells cars and fragrance and has huge billboards up and down broadway, like St. Yankee himself, Derek McSteely Eyed Calmnosity Jeter, then you have Iconic Value. These do not sound like absurd thoughts to me. The Yankees will probably never trade or buy out Derek Jeter, precisely because he is a commodity with value far in excess of his on-field performance. Suddenly Jeter and his agent shouldn’t negotiate with the Yankees with that in mind? Maybe Scott Boras should stop doing his job – which is maximizing Alex Rodriguez’ salary – because you think that reasonable things are preposterous?

Since you already have no imagination, I’m going to answer my own question: no, Scott Boras should not stop doing his job, even if we all think he’s a particularly evil breed of vampire snake or something.

A couple of weeks ago, the Yankees said — and there's little reason to doubt them — that Rodriguez and Boras wanted $350 million not to opt out.

See “Imagination: Kriegel, Lack of.” The Yankees have many millions of reasons to portray Boras and Rodriguez as malignant grubbers of money who would kick puppies and vote Satan himself into the White House. The less popular they are, the less money they have to shell out for Earth’s premier crusher of baseballs. They’re trying to reduce A-Rod’s Iconic Value without hurting his Network Value (and thus their own bottom line). See how this all starts to make sense when you think for five seconds?

But now, more than a month after striking out with two outs and Bobby Abreu on second in the ninth inning of Game 2 in the AL Division Series, Rodriguez has had a sudden change of heart. So much for his iconic value. Not only is he not clutch, it doesn't look like he has much spine, either.

Ho. Ly. CRAP.

You could also say, “more than a month after crushing a home run in Game Four of the ALDS,” or “more than a month after outhitting Derek Jeter .267 to .176 while hitting into three fewer double plays,” or even “in anticipation of overwhelmingly winning his third American League MVP Award.” All those statements are also correct. The last of the three is a better measure of his overall value than a four-game stretch in October.

I mean, why opt out if you weren't going to go through with it? … The answer, of course, is that the money he and Boras figured to be out there was not. There was no $350 million. Nor was there a team offering $30 million a year. Only after coming to this realization did Rodriguez profess his love for all things Yankee.

See “Imagination: Kriegel, Lack of.” Again. He’s going to be under contract for longer than previously, making more money per year than previously. That is a good reason to opt out of the deal he already had. Other good reasons – the possibility that he wouldn’t have to put up with the spitefully ungrateful media and fan base of New York City, or the possibility that another contender would sign him and let him play shortstop again, since he happens to be very good at that. He came down from the number Boras originally floated, in a mysterious process known as “contract negotiation.” I think it involves voodoo, alchemy, and the Electric Slide, but certainly not logic.

As is usually the case, A-Rod's Yankee pride is really a code for Yankee dollars. If this was really about Rodriguez's burning desire to be a Yankee, he should have picked up the phone himself. Instead, he went around his agent and had a couple of guys from that well known non-profit Goldman Sachs make the call for him. Fact: It's as much about money now as it was a month ago. Even after opting out, the Yankees will pay him substantially more than any other team.

As long as Kriegel’s going to destroy his own position in this article, I’m going to chill. Popcorn?

And that bring us back to Bonds, who at 43 and under indictment for perjury and obstruction of justice has almost certainly played his last game. Bonds has 762 home runs. Rodriguez, at only 32, has 518. That puts him 245 homers from the most famous record in all of sports. He could get that number in six seasons. And that's worth a lot to the Yankees, whose fans grew up thinking of the most long-standing home run records (Babe Ruth's and Roger Maris') as a kind of birthright.

At this point, Kriegel starts an entirely new essay. How does he expect us to follow his train of thought if he can’t? “This is a story about a whale – NO!”

As of Thursday night, the deal in place for Rodriguez calls for a base of $275 million for 10 years. But the sides were still negotiating a way for him to share in the revenue created by his pursuit of Bonds' tainted record.

"It's a historical achievement bonus," said Hank Steinbrenner, the team's senior vice president.

Everything broke right for Major League Baseball on Thursday. Bonds' indictment was not for tax evasion, as baseball officials had feared, but for lying under oath about his alleged steroid use. At long last, the indictment offers resolution to a very sad story.

Relation of the last paragraph to the three previous? Zip. Nil. Bubkes. “The little critters of nature… they don’t know that they’re ugly.”

Unlike the players who juiced themselves into a state of apparent greatness, Bonds was great — one of the greatest, in fact — before steroids and human growth hormone (HGH). Now he'll be remembered for the drugs. His is a legacy undone by his hubris.

Next, consider Greg Anderson, Bonds' friend and former trainer. He's been in jail for more than a year. The government said it needed his testimony to make its case. Only now, it turns out that his testimony was not needed. What does that say of a prosecution, when the musclehead is more of a stand-up guy than the prosecutors?

“That’s very funny – a fly marrying a bumblebee!”

Finally, there are the enablers in both the MLB and the union. For years they pretended nothing was wrong. Now they have to find a way to make it right. The only problem is, they can't. Bonds' likely defense is that he didn't know he was taking banned substances. In that case, even a verdict of innocent wouldn't remove the taint from the record.

But then, what is Bud Selig — who cheered so loudly for Mark McGwire — to do? I don't see how he can expunge Bonds' statistics unless he's going to expunge the career stats of every one else who benefited from performance-enhancing drugs. You can't hammer Bonds because he's not a nice guy and issue a pass to, say, Paul Byrd, who got a shipment of HGH from a dentist.

Then there's the asterisk. If you give Bonds an asterisk, do you put a similar asterisk, for example, on Jason Giambi's MVP award? Or does Giambi get special consideration because he cooperated with Sen. Mitchell's investigation? Where does it end?

The damage can't be undone. The records of the last 10-12 years are suspect. Anyway you cut it, it's a mess.

If Mark Kriegel had started this article with the "Barry Bonds is now 43, under indictment for…” paragraph and kept going, we’d actually have a good piece. He’s dead on target with all of this – especially the collusion of the Giants and the union, who used Bonds until he broke the single-season and career home run records, and then tossed him aside. Bonds submitted readily enough. (That’s why the whole “The indictment ended Barry’s career” stuff is kind of dumb. If he’d gotten the record a season earlier it would have been over for him just as well. The Giants overlooked his age, and the taint of the cream & the clear, for that reason only. The Chase sold tickets. The indictment is pretty much just an afterthought from their perspective, a handy excuse to act shocked – shocked! – that their glittering knight wasn’t perfectly above-board.)

Still, there are fans out there who desperately want to regard the home run record as sacrosanct and the home run king as a worthy, if not mythical athlete. For them, there's only one hope: Alex Rodriguez.

He may not be the guy you want. ... But he's all you got.

Why couldn’t he have cut the first half of this and kept the second? Was bashing A-Rod such a novel idea that he decided he couldn’t resist? I can kinda sorta see the parallel between Barry and A-Rod as excellent players who aren't well-liked by their teammates, but part of that parallel has been crafted by the media as a quickie template for stories about A-Rod - and especially when writing the millionth variation on "he's not clutch so he's worse than Scott Brosius or Charlie Hayes." What it is, is frickin' lazy writing.

When it comes down to it, there are very few reasons not to want A-Rod on your team:

1. You buy into the whole "he'll kill you in October" thing. But A-Rod has had plenty of fine performances in playoff series, most recently in 2004, when he went 16-50 in eleven games, with five doubles, thre homers, eight RBI, and eleven runs scored. His line was .320/.414/.600. Besides, you're much likelier to actually reach October with him than without him, especially if you just sign him and not lose any other players.
2. You have better already. Sorry, you're lying. Alex Rodriguez once hit a home run before the pitcher even threw the ball - by the time he wound up A-Rod was already high-fiving the bat-boy. The only team that can MAYBE say this is the New York Mets, who are set at third with David Wright and short with Jose Reyes, both way younger and cheaper than A-Rod, and therefore more cost-effective. Even then, A-Rod is better defensively than Wright, and a better hitter for at least the next five years - and the Mets have a gaping hole at first base, currently haunted by the ghost of Carlos Delgado. Omar Minaya could have signed Rodriguez and played either him or Wright at first, and been the envy of the National League. Easy.
3. You can't afford him. Legit concern for at least three-quarters of baseball.
4. You hate him. Well, OK, I guess... but seriously, he just smacks the snot out of baseballs. He once accidentally hit Mr. Met into left-center for a two-run double. (A similar incident sent the Cincinnati Reds logo into the Witness Protection Program.) He once ordered a curveball to hang so he could sneeze before hitting it into the parking lot. He personally doesn't count home runs if he doesn't hit the ball directly on Bud Selig's signature. He hit a homerun that cleared the fence at Comiskey Park - on a day the Yankees played in Cleveland. He's just freakishly good. If the Giants could tolerate criminal behavior that monkeyed with the validity of the statistical record just to sell tickets and win games, then the Yankees (or whomever) could overlook some aloofness and a bunch of media crap to do the same thing. 'Cause make no mistake - a good 90+% of the ballyhoo about A-Rod is media crap.

The Paulistinian Authority...

...has its own currency.

A company that makes and distributes Liberty Dollar coins in various denominations has announced it is shut down – for now – after a raid by FBI and U.S. Secret Service agents in which documents, records, coins and gold and silver were confiscated.

And.

Its alternative is a series of coins made of precious metals that can be exchanged for an assigned dollar amount. Over its history, the company has produced the California Bear, Chambersburg Dollar, Evansville Dollar, Hawaii Dala, Peace Dollar and the new Ron Paul Dollar, among others.

Gold coins- so Atlas Shrugged.

If the Fly & Ladybug should visit Bagdad...

...there's a church to visit.

A Bishop came to St John’s Church in Baghdad today, 15 November, where a crowd of locals welcomed him home. They were joined at the service by soldiers from the 2-12 infantry battalion, many of whom had fought hard to secure these neighborhood streets. Members of the hard-fighting Iraqi Army 3rd Division were also here for this special day.

Michael Yon is a blogger in country, to report the stories the Mediunhueren won't. Including a Bagdad Catholic Church full of GIs and local Muslims begging the Iraqi Catholics to come home.

A small water-cooler-based diversion

Last night, my dearest and I hadn't the time for a full block of Heroes... so we compromised. We watched America's Next Top Model, and I decided to open a discussion for that while we wait, based partially on the suggestion Sheila made in this wonderfully psycho thread.

Some background - they start with a bunch of girls, and winnow them to 13 to live in "the house" and start the process of photo shoots, challenges, etc. All the while, Tyra Banks and her company of mostly insane associates critique, instruct, and amuse; eventually one model each week is cut - and must IMMEDIATELY go back to the house and leave.

Those, by the way, are Tyra's words. For those of you who are huge Idol fans and are trying to get a handle on Tyra, here's the deal - she's sort of like a sober Paula: just as crazy, waaaay over the top, but at every moment, perfectly at home with herself. You buy every moment with Tyra, and unlike Paula you never pity her or watch through your fingers. She is totally in command.

Her company is a good match for her. That's really what it reminds me of - like, Tim Burton or Christopher Guest has a "company" of actors he almost always works with - this is Tyra's company, her set cast, and without them there's no show. Three of the judges are always the same: Twiggy (always introduced as "fashion ICON Twiggy" by Tyra - I think it's on her driver's license that way); Nigel Barker (longtime fashion bigwig); and J Alexander, invariably called "Miss Jay." This season he's been sporting an ever-growing Afro that probably forces him to enter rooms sideways. Tyra's the fourth steady judge, and the fifth spot rotates, usually featuring the photographer or consultant that worked with the models that week.

Now, Tyra and Ms. Jay bring the crazy, so Nigel and Twiggy are the anchors. The fifth guy varies - this week is was a stolid, boring fellow who runs the US arm of Elite Model Management. We also get regular contributions from Mister Jay and Benny Ninja.

So - the pressure's been building. We had one model flake out and decide to leave the show, leading to one of Tyra's best lines ever: "Nothing is less appealing to me than a quitter... so, you are EXCUSED." Got ten degrees colder in my living room. BEGONE from us, you QUITTER. She wasn't just excused, she was banished. We've also got some clear lines drawn in the house, with many of the models getting cattier by the moment about Heather, the teacher's pet of the show thus far, but also one of the most successful contestants.

This week we were treated to Amateur Design Hour, where each model became the "muse" of one design student, who modeled a dress based on a short meeting and discussion, one-on-one. Bianca took the opportunity to turn up the huff, she didn't like it, didn't like the dress, didn't like the designer (an Asian girl with a strong accent who knew the English vocabulary, but was spotty on the grammar). Heather, who told her designer that she was a "fire sign," wound up inspiring him to make her an ocean-themed dress. But most of the other models were pleased.

They had to introduce the designer briefly, and then walk the runway. A couple of them botched the lines, none worse than poor Heather, who let it get into her head and affect her for the rest of the week. That brought the lines out real quickly - a few of the models rallied to reassure her; Bianca (lead HATER) grinned like her birthday when the EMM-US dude cut into her performance.

From there, the models got home, Heather got bumped off the shower line, and reacted quite poorly. They all talked it out in a group, yay, but more cattiness in the private interviews. It's remorseless in that house, y'all. Un. com. pro. mising. I think Heather misses Sarah, who was bumped last week (and I did NOT agree, boo hiss).

Anyway, the shoot is in the desert next to Corey Hart's Fiero, which was set on fire. (But he will NE-vuh suh-REN-DUUUH!) The girls had to pose next to the Fiero, and I got confused. Don't look like models, but don't hide the garment, and look frustrated, but look elegant... I was reminded of Tyra's "squint wide" line to one of the girls. They all talk like this. There is no escape. Fleeing is pointless.

Chantal, who moved on at Sarah's expense, was very good this time, despite my booing and hissing. (Snark from Ladybug - "I knew it! You just want to marry Sarah instead of me!") Heather, again, underperformed, but has done so well for the rest of the competition that Ladybug and I agreed that she would be safe. Ambreal took what to me looked like an excellent picture, but the judges shot it down - great shot of HER, but not a great modeling shot. Never looked at it that way before. They had a point - she was scrunched up, scowling at Corey's flaming car, but you couldn't really see the dress. The more "theatrical" poses that made the clothing jump out were the poses that earned the most praise, except for Huffy Bianca, who got the best line of the week out of Miss Jay - "She looks like SHE set the car on fire." I have to admit it was a great picture, boo hiss.

And who went home? No peeking! But please, feel free to talk about it.

Homeless advocates would have more success..

...if they quit lying.

Michael Gallant, director of operations for StandUp for Kids Florida, said he has been working with Zach and his family trying to make sure that they have a place to stay each night.

He said November is National Youth Homeless Awareness Month, which was just recently created by Congress.

This walk is not only designed to raise awareness but also to raise money for the cause. Donations are being accepted.

"The reason why Zach is so important is because of his age, which is actually the exact age of the average homeless person in America," Gallant said. "He is the face of homelessness."

Zach is walking to Tallahassee to "raise awareness" of the homeless. He is 9 years old. Does anyone reading this believe that the average age of a homeless person is 9 years old?

This reminds me of the whoppers that the "Reverend" Bruce Wright told last winter during the tent city season in St Pete, the best one being that the homeless don't use drugs and those that do only use drugs to stay awake during job interviews.

Tent city was shut down when Pinellas County provided an abandoned bus station as shelter and Revvum Wright rejected it. He made it clear that he wanted tent city to stay up regardless of what housing was available. He lost the PR battle.

Guys, I live in the hood. I see the homeless. The local media reporting on this issue contradicts what I see with my own eyes. I have seen guys sleeping 100 yards from the Savation Army Men's Shelter - they will not seek shelter if it means giving up their jones. The media will crawl over drunks, druggies and crack whores to find a white (yes, white) family that they hope is drug-free.

Nothing POs me more than having my compassion exploited. Especially with the Mediunhueren who report the most outrages claims without the least bit of skepticism.

Damn right the Sisko is angry!

Stop when the cops tell you

Especially in Florida.

A Florida man police said was breaking into cars at Miccosukee Resort and Gaming was attacked and killed by a 9-foot alligator while trying to run from police.

Investigators said officers responded to reports of car break-ins at a Miccosukee Indian Reservation parking lot located at 500 S.W. 177th Ave. in Miami.

One of the men was quickly captured by officers during the incident last week but the other robbery suspect tried to elude officer by jumping into a large pond behind the facility, according to a WJXT-TV report.

During the swim, police said, an alligator attacked and killed the man. He was apparently bitten on the head several times.

The victim's body was recovered at the bottom of the pond about a day after the reported break-ins.

The men were not identified in the report.

Pope-alooza Tour 2008...

...is coming to Yankee Stadium.

As CBS 2 HD first reported in April, Pope Benedict XVI will visit New York City during his first trip to the United States, and plans for the visit include a stop at ground zero before leading a public Mass at Yankee Stadium.

Archbishop Pietro Sambi told the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on Monday that Benedict will travel to Washington and New York from April 15-20.

Can the Fly get us tix? Fly have you ever seen JPII when he came to the USA?

During his trip maybe B16 will find time to make a quick trip to St Louis and straighten out these people.

A controversial ceremony took place in Missouri as two women are ordained as Roman Catholic priests over the weekend.

Rose Marie Hudson and Elsie McGrath were ordained Sunday in a ceremony at a St. Louis synagogue. They are part of the Roman Catholic Women Priests movement, which is independent from the Roman Catholic Church.

And not everyone in the church is celebrating. The women were warned they would be excommunicated if they went ahead with the ceremony. But they're moving forward with no regrets.

"It's never going to change if we just walk away, you know? They wouldn't care whatsoever if we walked away," said McGrath.

The Roman Catholic Women Priests movement has ordained more than 60 women in the U.S. and Europe.

Creflo Dollar...

..took in $69 million of them last year.

An Atlanta megachurch took in $69 million in 2006, according to a financial statement the church's minister released in response to a Senate investigation into him and five other well-known televangelists.

The Rev. Creflo Dollar disclosed the World Changers Church International's financial information to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but said the money he spends is his own.

Dollar said his income comes from personal investments, including businesses and real estate ventures. But the church gave him a Rolls Royce, which he mainly uses for special occasions, he said.

"Without a doubt, my life is not average," he said. "But I'd like to say, just because it is excessive doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong."An Atlanta megachurch took in $69 million in 2006, according to a financial statement the church's minister released in response to a Senate investigation into him and five other well-known televangelists.

The Rev. Creflo Dollar disclosed the World Changers Church International's financial information to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but said the money he spends is his own.

Dollar said his income comes from personal investments, including businesses and real estate ventures. But the church gave him a Rolls Royce, which he mainly uses for special occasions, he said.

I can tell you that Creflo did not want to give up that number. One of the byproducts of Senator Grassley's investigation is that the public will now find out how much jack these Word-of-Faithers are pulling in.

It is nice to know that he only uses the church-owned Rolls for special occasion. Is Dollar his real name? Because that would be too rich.

The Muslim Mobile

You have to drive something to the camel beauty contest.

The Malaysian carmaker Proton has announced plans to develop an "Islamic car", designed for Muslim motorists.

Proton is planning on teaming up with manufacturers in Iran and Turkey to create the unique vehicle.

The car could boast special features like a compass pointing to Mecca and a dedicated space to keep a copy of the Koran and a headscarf.

His Name is Samuel...

...which means "God has heard".

Samuel is an embarrassment to the local medical community because he's not supposed to be here. He should have never made it out of the womb and if he did, he was only supposed to live for a few weeks.

That was over two years ago. I missed Samuel second birthday party for the Fly's first (and hopefully, last) wedding.

Samuel was in church today. The website tells his story.

I Shouldn't Even Go Here...

....but I can't resist.

Members of Saudi Arabia's Senior Clerics Association have issued a fatwa banning camel beauty contests.

The fatwa stated that the contests are prohibited because they include perversion, waste money on futility and ostentation, and are similar to games banned by the Koran.

Camel beauty contests have been held annually at this time for the past decade, and are part of Saudi tribal folklore.

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, "I'd walk a mile for a camel".

Going to see Kansas Friday night...

...at something in St. Pete called Ribfest.

It's in a big park where tented vendors sell ribs (of course) and other outdoor treats. The weekend will feature many dinosaur acts like Grand Funk Railroad, Atlanta Rhythm Section, Eddie Money, and the aformentioned Kansas.

My expectations are low. Last year Steve Walsh could no longer hit the fastball vocally. On some tunes he should have asked me to come up and sing for him.

I'll have a report on Monday.

The Church of the Gold-Plated Squishy Marshmallow

I have no idea who Eddie Long is, and I know little of Joyce Meyer, but the rest of these bozos - it's about time. Note that three of these are on the board of regents of ORU, another organization that has its own air conditioned dog house issues.

CBS News has learned Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa, the ranking Republican on the Senate Finance Committee, is investigating six prominent televangelist ministries for possible financial misconduct.

Letters were sent Monday to the ministries demanding that financial statements and records be turned over to the committee by December 6th.

According to Grassley's office, the Iowa Republican is trying to determine whether or not these ministries are improperly using their tax-exempt status as churches to shield lavish lifestyles.

The six ministries identified as being under investigation by the committee are led by: Paula White, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, Kenneth Copeland and Benny Hinn. Three of the six - Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar - also sit on the Board of Regents for the Oral Roberts University.

What Senator Grassley is looking for is evidence that these folks wrote off the Mercedes and the mansions as ministry expenses to avoid sales and other taxes.

But how can one know if a ministry is legit? Here's a few tips, using my church as an example:

Your pastors should have the same standard of living as the congregation. Your pastor shouldn't be living like Benny Hinn, but let's not starve the guy, okay? If the church parking lot is full of five-year-old Saturns, the pastor shouldn't be driving a 2007 Lincoln Town Car. My two pastors, whom I will call Steve and Gary (because that's their names) until recently were driving pieces of Pferdkaese. I'm happy to see that they now have something that will start in the morning.

Transparent finances. This is easier with a small church like mine. One Sunday a year Steve and Gary report on the church budget. There are always at least two people counting the offering for CYA purposes. I am just a shmoe in the pews, but I can get a finacial statement anytime I want it. Gary, in particular, is an extremist on these issues. He wouldn't use church money to buy a single unsalted peanut without checking with two other people.

Beware of the cult of personality. Pastors Steve and Gary are the best. One of the blessings of a small church is that I get to talk to them at least twice a week. They try to follow the Lord as best as their mortal flesh will allow them. But if they were to fall on their heads and all of sudden go squishy from the pulpit, I will repectfully call it to their attention. And I would bail if they were to continue in their squishiness. My first loyalty is to God and His Word.

A good place to check for evangelical ministries is the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability. This was set up after Jim and Tammy troubles twenty years ago. I have no idea how Catholic churches handle this sort of thing.

Both Michael and I....

...are 48-year-old single white men.

Idoctrination U

U of Delaware just closed down a student indoctrination program.

After an intense campaign led by the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), the University of Delaware has dropped an ideological reeducation program that was referred to in the university’s own materials as a “treatment” for students’ incorrect attitudes and beliefs. The program’s stated goal was for the approximately 7,000 students in Delaware’s residence halls to adopt highly specific university-approved views on politics, race, sexuality, sociology, moral philosophy, and environmentalism. Following FIRE’s campaign, which called the attention of the national media and the blogosphere to the Orwellian program, university President Patrick Harker terminated the program, effective immediately.

I started my freshman year at RU as a 28-year-old Staff Sergeant in the NJ Air Guard. I'd like to see how some 19-year-old RA is going to ask me about my personal business during our one-on-one session. Not only did half the dorm think I was in Vietnam, but I came to RU with all kinds of crazy ideas, like Jesus of Nazareth rising from the dead and being the Savior of the world - outrageous stuff like that.

And I was the Fly's RA during his freshman year. Fly, you were barely 17 back then, could you imagine me sitting you down one-on-one and asking you about when you discovered your sexual identity? You'ed probably think I was some perv.

And as an RA, do you think I'm going to want to sit students down and quiz them about their hormonal urges? I had enough problems with the Palace Boys.

The Fly was in good hands his freshman year. He had a roommate who shared with me those crazy ideas about that Jesus guy. And he had an RA who wasn't a total screw-up.

More water for your cooler

Heroes strikes again. I have yet to see this one, so it's up to all y'all. Will Claire and Creep Out Boy start knocking over gas stations? Is Matt jealous of Emo-hinder's new relationship with Niki/Jessica? Do we find Adam in this episode? Do we find ANYTHING in this episode? And what about Scarecrow's brain?

Coach Feel Good

Why is Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" running through my head?

A judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail on Thursday likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there.

"There isn't any structure there that this court can depend upon," Montgomery County Judge Steven O'Neill said before sentencing 22-year-old Britt Reid to up to 23 months in jail plus probation. "I'm saying this is a family in crisis," O'Neill said. Earlier Thursday, O'Neill sentenced 24-year-old Garrett Reid, a drug addict and dealer who said he got a thrill out of selling drugs in "the 'hood," to up to 23 months in jail for smashing into another motorist's car while high on heroin.

O'Neill noted that searches of the Reid home found illegal and prescription drugs throughout the house. He said both boys had been overmedicated throughout much of their lives and that Britt got hooked on painkillers when he suffered a football injury in high school. "It sounds more or less like a drug emporium there, with the drugs all over the house, and you're an addict," O'Neill told Britt Reid.

Coach Tony Dungy talks about how the NFL coaching job can become your whole life during the season. It's tough to keep tabs on the home front, and sometimes you pay the price.

You mean he's like that normally?

Snitched this from CalTechGirl.


This (they say) adds up to an Asperger's score of 62 out of 200 and a neurotypical score of 154 out of 200. The bottom line is that I don't have Asperger's Syndrome.


My troubles are of an enitrely different nature.

I'll try and get through this...

...without using dirty words.

As many of you know, Fred Phelps' inbred clan, something which he calls a "church", has been picketing the funerals of servicemen who have died in Iraq. They used to picket the funerals of gay folks, but I guess not enough of the gay community is dying off, so he has turned is attention to those who have fallen in battle.

That is about to change:

A Baltimore federal jury awarded nearly $11 million Wednesday to the father of a Marine killed in Iraq, deciding that the family's privacy had been invaded by a Kansas church whose members waved anti-gay signs at the funeral.

It was the first-ever verdict against Westboro Baptist Church, a fundamentalist Christian group based in Topeka that has protested military funerals across the country with placards bearing shock-value messages such as "Thank God for dead soldiers."They contend that the deaths are punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality and of gays in the military.

They were sued for intentional infliction of emotional distress, and if you see any of these photos you would have to agree. If this suit survives appeal then Fred's coven will be bankrupt. Add to that the disgusting fact that these yahoos claim the Name of my Savior - I promised no dirty words.

I've never seen these cranks, but if you can resist grabbing one and beating on him until the cops pull you off then you are more Christlike than I.

Pirates of..

...the Indian Ocean?


The U.S. military has stepped up activities in the pirate-infested waters off Somalia, going to the aid of hijacked cargo ships twice this week. American medics treated wounded North Korean sailors on one vessel, and the Navy was tracking another after destroying two pirate skiffs lashed alongside.

Somalia, on the eastern rim of the Horn of Africa, has had no functioning government since slipping into chaos in 1991 at the beginning of its long civil war. Its waters are among the most pirate-infested anywhere, with more than two dozen ship hijackings this year.

I wonder how many guys joining the US Navy ever think that they will be chasing down pirates. It's a shame that, since these are not sailing ships, there is no yardarm in which to tie these scurvy dogs.

About Your Central Air Conditioning.

Most of you are not aware that my day job is with central air conditioning contractor in Tampa FL. I need to tell you about something that is coming up in the A/C industry in a little over two years which will effect you homeowners out there.

Currently, the vast majority of residential central air conditioners use a refrigerant called R-22. Some systems already use the newer, more environmentally friendly refrigerant called R-410a, but R-22 far and away is the most common refrigerant in homes.

Starting in 2010, a little over two years from now R-22 systems will no longer be available. Also, starting in 2010 the manufacturing of new R-22 will start to be limited until the only R-22 available by 2020 will be recycled refrigerant. This will cause repairs involving refrigerant for R-22 systems more expensive.

What this means for those looking for a new system today

If you need a new air conditioning system, it is recommended that you get the new R-410a system. In most cases the prices are comparable.

Most central air systems have two parts: in Florida the outdoor unit is a heat pump and the indoor unit is an air handler. You Yankees have a condenser outside and a furnace with a cased coil inside. If you have a system where one section is much older than the other, you may want to replace the older section before 2010. If either section of an R-22 system should fail in 2010 or later the only alternative would be to replace the entire system.

I'm not shilling for my employer. I don't think any of the folks who post comments here live in our service area, but I don't want to see any of my blogger friends get hosed by some shady contractor.

Post any questions in the comments; I'll be happy to answer them.

Forget higher food prices, this is serious!

The demand for ethanol is raising the price of beer.

Fuel, aluminum and glass prices have been going up quickly over a period of several years. Barley and wheat prices have skyrocketed as more farmers plant corn to meet increasing demand for ethanol, while others plant feed crops to replace acres lost to corn.

This has put pressure on small independent breweries.

Guys, the reason why ethanol is so hot is because of the first presidential caucus in Iowa. Even in non-election years politicians visit Iowa years before campaign start to soften the ground, and all of them kiss the ring of the Corn Baal.

If Florida had the first caucus we'd be gassing up with OJ.

Taking the food we eat and the beer we drink and pour it down our gas tanks?

The Rich and the Dead

I'm storing my treasure elsewhere (Matthew 6:20).

Elvis Presley is still the King. Presley, who earned an estimated $49 million in the past 12 months, has reclaimed the No. 1 spot on Forbes.com's list of Top-Earning Dead Celebrities. He last topped the list in 2005.

John Lennon ranks second with earnings of $44 million, followed by Charles M. Schulz ($35 million), George Harrison ($22 million), Albert Einstein ($18 million), Andy Warhol ($15 million), Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) ($13 million), Tupac Shakur ($9 million), Marilyn Monroe ($7 million), Steve McQueen ($6 million), James Brown ($5 million), Bob Marley ($4 million) and James Dean ($3.5 million).

Presley died in 1977. His estate continues to generate millions from music royalties, DVDs, licensing deals and tourism at Graceland, the rocker's mansion in Memphis, Tenn.

Forbes said the celebrities on the list, posted Monday, earned a combined $232 million in the past 12 months.

Chapter six water cooler

Heroes, Chapter Six: "The Line." Nice touch with the Do Not Cross tape right there. Not subtle, but I like it.

I jotted extensive notes for this one, and Ladybug and I spent major time rewinding the Tivo on some things. This is what I wrote down, roughly in order. (Highlight the blanks at your own risk!)

1. Oirish Lass wants vengeance. She's coming with Pete to track down Shocking Blue to "kill the bitch," apparently with the power of Celtic Spunk.
2. Meanwhile, Claire is rapidly becoming her daddy's girl - lying to everyone, planning revenge of her own against the petty cheerleader. I don't think Creep Out Boy is a good influence on her. "I can fly; kind of renders parental guidance a moot issue." Ooooh, he's an edgy rebel with good hair, kiss him!
3. HRG is getting mean with his mentor, KGB.
4. Sylar and the Black Oil Twins... "I used to be able to do amazing things." (Like eat braaaains.) "I wanna be special." I am getting SICK of the Reset Button. Come on, advance the characters! Ah, that's better, it looks like he's putting the moves on Lady Black Oil Mbazo. Alejandro no likey - smart lad.
5. Ha, even the translator is getting into the Kensei subplot! Ando makes him rewind the Tivo.
6. Oops, there goes that boat ride on the Danube. And the favorite flower. KGB overhears the phone call, tries to use it to force a deal. Hm, maybe HRG isn't a double agent after all - at least, not yet.
7. The Sylar Express just got snagged at the border. Go Citizen Patrol! Fred Thompson says hi, kids.
8. Midas wants Emo-hinder to give a modified virus shot to Copy-Catwoman. And - he won't! It's mean! He tosses a chair into the conveniently-completely-glass cabinet holding everything! So, I'm guessing he quits.
9. Lady Black Oil Mbazo is getting goopy ON PURPOSE with the Citizen Patrol. (Score one for Kate and Cullen.) In chapter seven, Fred Thompson retaliates by outlawing all mascara-based super-powers. John Edwards is immediately arrested and deported.
10. Snotty Cheerbabe v 2.0 is brown bagging? Hoo boy. (Wasn't this a Law and Order episode?) Writing the squad's weights on their foreheads with a Sharpie - hello, body image problems. What a tool. Claire and Creep Out Boy creep her out. Jeepers, that was mean. I wonder how COB knew about the drinky-drinky, anyway? How many windows does this kid peek into? This isn't "public embarassment," this could get her stuck in juvie. Way to go, Daddy's Girl.
11. OK, back to Kensei. They find the swordsmith, who is also a gunsmith. Duhn duhn duhn. They have a plan. Hope that Emohinder does too - Bob wants to talk. (Duhn duhn duhn.) Whoa, he apologized. He wanted a failsafe to stop rogues like Sylar.
12. Big Trouble in Fuedal Japan. Kensei can actually fight some. Hiro overdoes the teleport dealio. And.... Yaeko is quicker on the uptake than Lois Lane. Together we can break history! And KENSEI SEES THEM. Boy, never saw THAT coming, did we? (But how the hell did he get there so fast anyway?)
13. Alejandro is whaling on Sylar. (Also quicker than Lois Lane.) Maya breaks it up, Sylar tells Alejandro that he's gonna eat their braaaaains, or just corrupt Maya (some more). Hm, I wonder exactly how "no speaka de English" he really is. I kind of thought that he was just blowing off stoner dude in the jail. This could come back to bite Sylar in the tuchis.
14. Well, Claire's having second thoughts NOW - but she has her little reward, and her cover story, and her Creep Out Boy. Not liking either of them.
15. Or HRG. I would suggest that he's pounding the Reset Button, but I actually think this is different. He definitely turned a corner last season - he's mean for Claire now, which almost makes it worse. Wonder why the Haitian is letting him do this. KGB gives it up. Tells HRG he's going to go to Hell. "I know." Uh-oh.
16. Kensei's not happy. History is super busted. So is the back of Hiro's head. He sold them all out. Could he have found them, AND gone back, AND set up his little ambush in that short of a time? This bears some further thought.
17. Bob's bein' nice, Niki replaces Matt as the second half of the Emo Power Couple, and HRG finds the paintings - and this time I played freeze-frame spy:
1/8 was Nakamura's death
2/8 was too sharp an angle to see
3/8 a vial of something (possibly viral in nature)
4/8 Niki/Jessica trying to escape the Take On Me video
5/8 a zombie-lookin' Peter and a new character in the corner
6/8 Hiro and Kensei throwing down
7/8 Dude with a gun, just fired. I thought it could be Alejandro, Ladybug says it's Sylar. She's probably right, she usually is about stuff like this
8/8 dead HRG with Claire held by an unknown party
What does it mean? Good question. It took us 30 minutes to figure out this much.
18. Peter finds a message waiting for him. Great, more time travel crap. "We were right about the Company. The World is in danger. It's up to us - Adam." OK, first off - right about the Company being evil, or being reformed? And second, who's Adam? [UPDATE - SarahK knows! I forgot the file thing in Midas' office while I was jotting notes. I am not nearly as extra-ordinary as SarahK!] Peter bamfs Oirish to Times Square, Holocaust Edition. They find an Evac Notice dated June 14, 2008 (a Saturday, I looked it up). Yay still frame: "...because of deteriorating conditions, at some point evacuation routes may be [closed] and the remaining people at risk will be directed to a test...." A test facility? It was hard to read that word, it was right on the edge of the picture.
I guess they will throw down in real time at the end of the season - June 9th or 16th.

COMING ATTRACTIONS - wow, The Stand + 28 Days Later = Heroes Season Two. AHA - painting five is actually Peter looking into a window that has a biohazard sign on it in the corner. Still can't recognize the new guy. And then my scroll ran out so I don't know the rest, but all in all? Great episode. More please - kthxbai.

oh, PS - this is the 800th post here in the Hive. That is a lot of blather, even for me. Thanks to all for sticking with me!

It's official

I am completely done with this sinus bugaboo. Finis. That's it. I've been pummelled into a smear. I can't breathe for more than an hour in any one position, so I can't sleep. My ears are clogged like I've been swimming since Tuesday. I sound like a Golden Girl. And since I caught this thing while ALREADY on antibiotics, there's nothing the doctor can do for me, except to recommend Sudafed - and thanks to the blessed meth heads, I can't get my hands on enough of that to keep things going.

See, Ladybug had this wretched thing too. I gave it to her last week, and she gave it back over the weekend. October has felt like a time-lapsed picture of highway traffic.

This is what it comes to: my wife came home yesterday from work with a goofy device that's designed to irrigate the nasal passages. It looks like... well, YOU tell ME what this ruddy thing looks like.



Yeah, youbetcha.

Simple thingumbob, really - take some warm water, mix in one of the included medicine packets (it came with 50 of the things), and stick the business end of the teapot into one nostril. Bend forward, tilt to one side, and pour the solution up one's nose until it starts to drizzle out of the other nostril. (Really.) It's like a demented magic trick. You could go into a subway station and panhandle from strangers with this. You could be on Criss Angel's crappy show, except they would have to blur the spout for prime time audiences.



Then one repeats the process with the other nostril. I guarantee you, you will NOT be as happy as ol' Janeane Garofalo looks. It's the funkiest feeling ever. But here's the catch - it works. (Nasal Enemas, Jerry - wave of the future!) I actually blew my nose and got results for the first time in a week. I stopped hocking up Play-Doh. My food tastes more food-like. As weird as the thing looks (especially in operation), I'm glad Ladybug bought it.

Let's hear it for the... umm... The Sneezinator? Mr. Happy's Teapot? Forget it, I'm stopping while I still have readers.

Chapter five cooler

Heroes time, kids! Brickbats, kudos, and other comments cheerfully accepted below. Be advised, however, that I'm not well today, so be sure not to drink out of my cup.

My own thoughts below.... highlight any blanks if you don't mind spoilers.

1. I'm getting a little motion sickness from Matt's and Emo-hinder's sudden character lurches - they argue about Molly, then they switch sides to argue each other's points. Go find daddy already, so we can get this plot going.
2. Flying Man joins the party. Good. This plotline really didn't have enough moody, self-pitying men in it.
3. Hm. Daddy could be the Big Bad after all. If he traps people in their dreams, then it's likely that Sulu would have seen him as his worst nightmare, not as his tubby balding self. Then again, at least Matt and Nathan are starting to deal with things.
4. I wonder what exactly caused the company to split apart like it did?
5. Ladybug says that Micah is her favorite character right now. He is getting a lot to do, and seems like the best-adjusted of the heroes.
6. Dig the jeet kun do! Girl is going to be boss in a few episodes. Hope it happens before gang boy decides that he doesn't like people who have seen him committing crimes. Will she snap out of it before he comes back and shoots her coworkers? I think the manager is toast. (The girl will escape to give her the "why didn't you do something sooner?" speech.)
7. Amnesia Peter's not getting any brighter, but he's getting luckier.
8. Oh, she PAINTS. Guess where this is going? (And how long before one of the other characters asks Peter to recreate any of Isaac's missing eight paintings?)
9. In the words of Crow T Robot... "There goes a stupid, stupid man." Would it have been so hard to say, "Yeah, maybe saw him once after the football. We get a lot of people in here, can't say I know him." But no, so Brother Dear is (literal) toast. Emma Frost is a meanie. And who is HER daddy?
10. It looks cold in Russia. No word from Claire, but Emo-hinder calls. "I'm on Molly's side." So... you bring her back to the people you rescued her from in the first place? I'm getting whiplash from the character lurches. I hope this makes sense soon. Bright side - no creepy stalker dude.
11. "The moment you give them what you love the most, they have you." Good advice, HRG - except I'll have to point out that it was THEY who gave YOU what you love the most. Still, it's good advice.
12. Brief Kensei update. Over/under on SarahK rewinds of this segment: five.

Take it away!

Cashing in on the I-man

Kia Vaughn's lawyer says Coach C. Vivian pressured his client to drop her lawsuit against the dusty fossil.

But it's Coach C. Vivian's pastor who speaks the truth:

Stringer's pastor, Rev. DeForest Soaries, said he attended a September meeting at the university with players, parents and Ancowitz, and that at no point did he or Stringer advise them to drop the lawsuit. That meeting was held before Vaughn dropped her suit.

Soaries said he'd talked with some of the players — although not Vaughn — and that they had been under the impression Imus would settle the suit quickly. He told them that might not be the case.

"It was important to me to counter the notion that this was a 'slam-dunk, never go to trial, we're going to settle and make a lot of money' situation," Soaries said.

Do you mean these virtuous maidens wanted quick cash? I'm shocked!

I hope one of them does sue the calcified relic, if only for my entertainment. I can see the I-man's lawyer asking for Ipods, CDs, concert tix and any other evidence that these vestal virgins paid cold cash to have men call them worse things than Imus ever has.

Welcome to the sidebar

Look around, there are new faces! Joining the Hive's roll call are Snark Raving Mad, Maggie May, I Can Has Cheezburger, and IMAO.

I Can Has Cheezburger is in the Pantheon, even if they never use my submissions, because I love cats and funny captions and I say so, that's why. IMAO, a group effort, went into the Pantheon due to its daily Fred Thompson Facts.

Fact - If IMAO's servers crashed and all the writers' computers were broken, a new Fred Thompson fact would upload itself.

Fact - Galactus doesn't have a herald to find new worlds, but to warn him if he gets too close to Fred Thomspon.

Fact - In chess, Fred Thompson cannot castle out of check... because it is impossible to check Fred Thompson's king to begin with.

You get the idea. Go read things.

Woodstock

By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers jet planes
Riding shotgun in the sky
Turning into butterflies
Above our nation.
We are stardust, we are golden
We are ten billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

-Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

A friend pointed out the obvious contradiction of believing that you are 10 billion year old carbon AND the existence of the Garden of Eden. Theistic evolution, or maybe too much ganga. Probably too much ganga.

Hippies used to say if you remember Woodstock, you weren't really there. Republicans say presidential contender Hillary Clinton can forget about getting $1 million in taxpayer funds for a Woodstock museum.

Clinton and Charles Schumer, Democratic senators from New York, want to earmark the federal money for a museum that would commemorate the 1969 music festival in their state.
"Woodstock Museum is a shining example of what's wrong with Washington on pork-barrel, out-of-control spending," said John McCain, Arizona senator and Republican presidential hopeful. An example, he said, of "the earmark pork-barrel spending which has made the American people disenchanted and angry."

Sens. Jon Kyl, R-Arizona, and Tom Coburn, R-Oklahoma, were trying Thursday to strip the Woodstock earmark from a massive health and education spending bill on the Senate floor. Democrats moved to kill their effort, but Republicans won a key 52-42 vote — seeping with presidential politics — signaling the Clinton-Schumer earmark would soon be gone.

Five Democrats voted against the Woodstock provision. So did old-school GOP members of the Appropriations Committee who had on prior occasions voted against conservative criticism of senators' earmarks.

"With all the pressing needs facing our country today, from entitlement reform to children's health care to the war in Iraq, the idea that the federal government should fund a museum that celebrates a 38-year-old concert is simply absurd," Kyl said.

I was all messed up on drugs till I found the Lord. Now I'm all messed up on the Lord.

Lawn Guy Land Ballcoach Beatdown..

...for benching his boy.

Two loutish Long Island brothers were arrested after they beat a baseball coach in front of the coach's son and the other terrified 11-year-olds on his team, cops said Wednesday.

Frank Basile, 48, and Roger Basile, 43, both of Bellmore, were charged with third-degree assault after beating coach James Edge so badly that he was taken to a hospital with a concussion and other injuries, police said.

"There were several witnesses there, including adults, who saw this guy (Frank) Basile go up and pummel the coach," said Sgt. Anthony Repalone of the Nassau County Police. "He didn't even have a chance."

Edge, 45, said the fracas at a Bellmore park erupted on Tuesday evening after he benched Frank Basile's son for swearing during batting practice.

"He's a great kid, but he has a foul mouth," the coach said.

Fly, tell me they are not your kin!

Da Knights

Rutgers used two fake kicks and a monster game from Ray Rice to beat USF 30-27.

Rice had been considered to drop out of Heisman Trophy consideration a few weeks ago after the Knights dropped two straight, but 181 yards against the #2 team in the country - who hadn't allowed a 100 yard rusher since Rice did it last year - may catch some notice.

Yeah, ok, he did fumble in the fourth quarter, but this is Rutgers. They can't win a big game without giving the Loyal Sons a heart attack first.

I really feel most sorry for Auburn, who is going up against LSU this weekend. As if they weren't motivated enough to win, the Tigers now know that they can move back up in the rankings.

PS - oh, yeah - Isles won too. Take that, uncle jim!

PPS - updated 12:50 pm - Kurt Snibbe of ESPN.com chimes in on Page 2:


It kind of looks like Babe's big green cousin, pining for the fjords.

Half of New Jerseyans...

...want out.

About half of New Jersey residents wish they were living somewhere else, with most citing high living costs as the reason, a newspaper poll found.

Just over half of those who said they want to move expect to follow through on it, Gannet News Service reported.

Frederick Huffenus, a retired police officer, said he plans to move to North Carolina> as soon as he gets a heart transplant. He has one son already there and hopes his two children still in New Jersey will also make the move.

Follow me, my New Jersey brothers and sisters, and come to the light. The sunlight of Florida, that is. Some supermarkets are even selling scrapple.

Hurry, before Corzine takes everything you have!

USF Bulls are number 2!

And that's no BCS!

South Florida football coach Jim Leavitt isn't much for sentiment.

At least not for public displays of it during a game week.

Consider his response when a reporter asked whether, in a quiet moment, Leavitt ever finds himself amazed at the stunning rise of his program, which grew from dirt 11 years ago and is ranked No. 2 in the BCS standings with a legitimate shot at a national championship.

The Bulls (6-0 overall, 1-0 Big East) will put their highest-ever ranking on the line Thursday at Rutgers (4-2, 1-1) in a nationally televised game (ESPN, 7:30 p.m. ET).

I go past this campus every day on my way to work. The USF Bulls are so hot here that Bucs players are asked about them on their radio shows.

I am emotionally conflicted. I love USF, but how could I root against my alma mater? Would I survive if I showed up in a Tampa sports bar tomorrow night wearing my RU shirt?

The last RB to gain 100 yards on the Bulls D was RU's Ray Rice last year @ Tampa. I was @ that game and I wore my RU shirt in that stadium. RU won 22-20.

First pigeon poop, then cheerleaders, now winos

What do you expect when you start drinking at 9 am?

Three hours before the "Monday Night Football" game against the Dallas Cowboys, Chris Clark, a former Erie County sheriff who is now head of security for the Buffalo Bills, was making his pregame rounds.

"How's the crowd?" he asked two deputies.

"It's gonna get ugly," one of them predicted.

They should know. During a game last year, the officers had to leave their patrol car. When they returned, all four tires had been deflated and their car was littered with empty beer cans.
Unruly behavior at sporting events has been one of the most visible signs of the coarsening of American culture, but the NFL is in a league of its own. One reason is the sheer size of the crowds. The Washington Redskins, who lead the National Football League in attendance, draw about 90,000 fans per game, almost twice the average number of baseball fans at Yankee Stadium and four times the number of spectators at the best-attended National Basketball Association and National Hockey League games.

The other reason is tailgating. While television cooking shows tend to focus on the food, walk through most NFL stadium parking lots and the clear focus is on alcohol. And lots of it.

"The Twins fans come in and have one or two beers," said Marty Neumann, manager of The Little Wagon, a sports bar near Minneapolis's Metrodome. "The Vikings fans come in and have 10."

This article goes on to describe the bad places (Iggles games @ the old Veterans Stadium) and times (NY Jets night games are bad). Season ticket holders are better behaved because they have the most to lose (the team/league can take away their season pass).

One honorable mention: On two occasions I have tailgated and been in Alltel Stadium in Jax while wearing the opposing teams shirt and I was treated with kindness and when my team lost, with empathy.

Al-Qaida...

...in New Jersey?

Members of the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force are monitoring a number of north Jersey residents with ties to al-Qaida.

The agents have disrupted their activities and deported several.

Task force director Kevin Cruise tells The Record of Bergen County there are facilitators in the state.

Cruise would not describe any case in detail.

However, efforts to disrupt Osama bin Laden's network range from deportation to telling the suspects that they're being watched.

Cruise tells the newspaper his agents have no information about an imminent attack here.

The task force is conducting more than 400 counterterror investigations.

Fly, what's going on up there?

Water cooled, cooler filled

Heroes, season two, episode four... we are ready to go!

A few thoughts, in fabulous Spoiler Vision (where applicable):

1. Things are definitely picking up. Part of it (for me) is that people were much more likeable this time, even Mrs. Petrelli.
2. No love for the beard, even on TV.
3. Hah! Score one for the Fly - Midas IS one of the original twelve!
4. Whoa, Parkman Senior, Professional Bad Person.
5. Interesting. Apparently they liked Charlie's power so much they worked it back into the show. Along with Creepy Man-Child and gaijin Kensei, this is now a triple-double. This works for me. Why not have some powers that recur?
6. And we also have our first cockroach sighting of the season! Still don't know quite what that means, but one thing I know - Sylar's got the thing all great super-villains have, he's dangerous for reasons that have nothing to do with his "powers."
7. OK, I didn't hate the Mascara Twins this week.
8. Score one for whomever it was who said that Derek had boosted Claire's Nissan. (Though this week the show was sponsored by Saab, so clearly somebody's got to steal something else real soon.)
9. More later. You have a turn!

There's no atheist...

..like a drunk atheist.

“At the end of the event as he staggered, sweating and red faced, out of the room, he [Hitchens] advanced on Father Rutler in a threatening and physical manner, screaming that this beloved pastor and brilliant scholar whom he had never met was ‘a child molester and a lazy layabout who never did a day’s work in his life’. His behavior was so frightening that a bodyguard put himself between Hitchens and Father Rutler to protect him. Several of the event organizers then escorted Hitchens to the men’s room and when he emerged he continued his psychotic rant, repeating the same calumnious and baseless screed as before. It was then that Father Rutler, in the most charitable manner, told Hitchens [for the second time] that he will `either die a madman or a Roman Catholic’. … Unless he faces his alcoholism soon, I am betting on the ‘madman’ ending for him.” (Private communication, name of source withheld by request, 17 September 2007)

Last May 1, Hitchens shows up at a debate about his "God Is Not Great" book and he was obviously sobriety deprived. Fr. Rutler called him on it.

I would have told Hitchens just about the same thing (without Fr. Rutler's brand loyalty).

Anyone trying to get sober without submitting to the One greater, well I wish you luck. As country singer Kenny Chesney would say, I've been there, that's why I'm here.

And it goes without saying that if James Dobson or Fr. Rutler went on a drunken screed against atheism you wouldn't have had to hear about it from me first.

Monsignor Larry Craig

How do you say "I have a wide stance." in Italian?

A Vatican official suspended after being caught on hidden camera making advances to a young man says he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work.

In an interview published Sunday, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico told La Repubblica daily he frequented online gay chat rooms and met with gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst. He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about "those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity."

I'm sorry, I don't believe him. But this is a reminder that your priest/pastor is a guy like us who has a sin nature like us. Speaking for myself, my pastor also has to put up with my Pferdkaese as well. So stories like this should remind us to pray for our guy.

Explaining Al Gore

Powerline Blog explains why the Nobel Peace Prize has gone to Pferdkaese.

In all seriousness, it is worth nothing an important difference between the peace prize and the other Nobel prizes. The Swedish scholars and scientists who make up the committees that award the science, literature, and economics prizes routinely choose honorees whose greatest work was done years, even decades, earlier.

He goes on to explain that this is why Nobel winners in other areas are very old. More:

By contrast, the Norwegian committee entrusted with awarding the peace prize comprises politicians, not scholars. Like politicians everywhere, the peace prize committee tends to be more interested in what the headlines will say today than in what historians will believe 20 -- or 100 -- years from now. And unlike their Swedish counterparts, the Norwegians often intend their choice to have a political impact. When they gave the prize to Jimmy Carter in 2002, the committee chairman emphasized that it was intended to be "a kick in the leg" of the Bush administration. This year's prize to Al Gore speaks for itself.

This also explains why this guy got nominated.

I can has reading

It's not nearly as impressive a nerd score as Mr. Summers', but here it is.



Notice that I got the possessive correct.

I need to throw up

OSLO, Norway - Former Vice President Al Gore and the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize Friday for their efforts to spread awareness of man-made climate change and lay the foundations for counteracting it.

No word yet whether the award will be shared among the sizable percentage of skeptics on that Panel, whose names were affixed to the document endorsing global warming without their consent - or in some cases, their knowledge.

World leaders, President Bush among them, congratulated the winners, while skeptics of man's contribution to warming criticized the choice of Gore.

Guess where I found the skeptical criticism? About 20 paragraphs down. First I had to wade through scads of this:

For his part, Gore in a statement said he was " deeply honored ... We face a true planetary emergency. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity."

Apparently there is no Nobel Prize for Load of Hooey. Maybe Al can invent it.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee said global warming "may induce large-scale migration and lead to greater competition for the Earth's resources. Such changes will place particularly heavy burdens on the world's most vulnerable countries. There may be increased danger of violent conflicts and wars, within and between states."

Perhaps this is how they justify giving a "peace" prize to a scientific theory - one, moreover, that is quite possibly a total crock. I also think that increasing the temperate zone could result in more land suitable for agriculture, which means more, not fewer resources, and therefore lesser conflicts over those resources. Finally, most of the wars of the past 100 years have not been driven by scarcity, but by ideology - exterminate the other, destroy the infidel, etc. etc. Well-fed armies aren't going to suddenly forget that they hate (fill in the blank).

It's doubtful the Nobel Committee could qualify for one of their own prizes.

There's more... under "Strong Reaction" on page 2 of the article, there's a leadoff quote from a FoxNews.com columnist, followed by three hurrahs. Then there's an explanation of expanding the definition of "peace prize" to accomodate environmentalists and economists.

Why you wouldn't win a Nobel Prize in Economics if you were an economist is somewhat of a riddle. Solve it and you're eligible for next year's Peace Prize.

5 Ways to Deal With Drill Sergeants

My favorite was number four.

4) Stay under the radar
Too many recruits get to basic training and treat the process as if it is high school. The drill sergeants should not be thought of like teachers. In high school, many students try to impress the teachers and get on their good side. In basic training, the best thing for you to do is go without being noticed. If you are treated by your drill sergeants as a “go-to man” you are asking for trouble. By staying under the radar, you will avoid being a pushover and avoid special attention from drill sergeants.

I was volunteering for so much night guard duty so as to lessen the number of encounters I would have with the guys in the Smokey Bear hats that lack of sleep was becoming a problem.

The Fraternity Chaplain?

Frat guys getting busted for dope at the U of Tampa is not news.

James Cocoliato, chaplain of his fraternity, was charged Monday with a felony and a misdemeanor for possession of 100 grams of marijuana with intent to sell. This arrest comes just 11 days after the arrest of another Pi Kappa Phi member, sophomore Aaron Cowell, who was also charged with intent to sell.

Today I learned that frats have chaplains. I also learned that at least one frat has a chaplain who also is a dope dealer. Maybe he's affiliated with one of those Native American peyote religions.

Forgive Me Fly, For I Have Sinned!

It has been five days since my last confession. (Of course evangelicals make confessions, maybe a little more informally than our Catholic friends.)

I am a racist/bigot/sexist/homophobe. I tried to change my ISP last week, and I was running into technical difficulties which later on I discovered was cause by customer support's inability to understand American English. I have no issue with outsourcing as long as I can get service. I haven't changed my ISP.

Today I called the Hillsborough County Clerk's Office to schedule an appointment to apply for a passport. The county employee whose job is to set these appointments could barely speak English. Hopefully I have that appointment.

As a believer I know I should learn Spanish to be able to tell more people about the Lord. But to have to learn Spanish to function in my own state and my own local government?

There is no problem. I'm just a racist/bigot/sexist/homophobe (or heterosexist).

Water cooler time!

Your Heroes discussion area is ready and waiting. As always, there may be spoilers in the comments, so click with caution if you haven't seen the episode - like me.

update - so, for example, when moving a comment from last week's thread to this week, you may not want to read that comment if, like me, you haven't seen the thing yet. =D

Nominee for Father of the Year

Hillsborough County deputies were busy yesterday.

When Reginald Cotton was pulled over for having too much windshield tinting on his car, he fled, leaving behind his two infants and a pill bottle filled with crack, deputies say.

Deputies shot Cotton, 30, with a Taser after a foot pursuit Saturday afternoon near U.S. Highway 301 and Sligh Avenue. He was arrested about 4:15 p.m.

When deputies looked into the car, they saw the children. When they searched under the driver's seat of Cotton's 1991 Chevrolet Caprice revealed a transparent pill bottle containing crack, an arrest affidavit shows.

He faces two felony counts of child neglect, a felony count of possessing cocaine with intent to sell and a felony count of driving with a revoked license.

Cotton, of 5711 N. 47th St., remains in Orient Road Jail, with bail set at $25,000.
There is no indication in a report what happened to the children.

Kind of a Drag

Poor dog!

A Hillsborough County deputy pulled over a Riverview woman this morning after noticing her dragging a leashed dog behind her pickup, officials said.

Maria Alvizo, 27, did not know the dog was tied to the bumper of the 1991 Ford F-150 when she left her home about 7 a.m., the sheriff's office said.

The dog died of its injuries.

The mixed-breed dog, known as Blacky or Junior, was a stray that Alvizo's family had been feeding since it was abandoned by its owner, the sheriff's office said. To keep the animal from following neighborhood children to the bus stop, Alvizo's mother tied the dog to the pickup in the yard about 5:30 a.m., the sheriff's office said.

The Alvizos have several vehicles, and the truck usually is not used. Alvizo decided to take the truck this morning because her vehicle wasn't working, the sheriff's office said.

She did not notice the dog and had driven three to four miles when the deputy stopped her, the sheriff's office said.

No charges will be filed, authorities said.

Riverview is south of Tampa, in a rural (cue banjo) area of Hillsborough County.

Obamessiah

I was going to post on this, but Mr. Bingley over at the Coalition did it first and better.

Mel Brooks put Jews in space...

...but now we have Muslims in space.

MALAYSIA has come up with the world's first comprehensive guidebook for Muslims in space as its first astronaut prepares to go into orbit next week.

The book, Guidelines for Performing Islamic Rites at the International Space Station, teaches the Muslim astronaut how to perform ablutions, determine the location of Mecca when praying, prayer times, and how to fast in space, the Star newspaper reported.

Atlantic City Mayor AWOL

He may be seeking medical attention in an undisclosed location.

The U.S. Attorney's Office has launched a probe into Atlantic City Mayor Bob Levy, whose indefinite, hush-hush leave of absence on medical reasons has other officials and the public scratching their heads.

Authorities are trying to determine whether Levy's false claims to have served with the Army Green Berets in Vietnam were meant to boost his veteran's benefits, an official with knowledge of the case said Thursday. The official spoke anonymously because the investigation is ongoing.

In Levy 2005 campaign he played up his Green Beret status, but note this:

The Press of Atlantic City used military records that verified Levy was a 20-year Army veteran with two Bronze Stars and two tours of duty in Vietnam but was not a member of the Army Special Forces.

I wonder why Mayor Levy needed to embellish his very impressive record. If I were to lie about my military record that lie would resemble his real record. He needs our prayers; his country asked him to do some nasty stuff on our behalf and some of it doesn't go away.

For the record, I'm blind in one eye and can't see out the other. The Air Force, and later the Air Guard assigned me duties where I would not be able to hurt myself or others. My greatest military accomplishments would be eating German Shepherd on Guam (tastes like very salty surloin) and drinking beer on three continents.

Chin-chucking good

Today is Friday. In comic-blog-world, that means Bahlactus throws down with Friday Night Fights, and Chris Sims does the Week in Ink.

I've dug the ISB for a year or so now, and so it's only fitting to mark the occasion with a homemade boot to the craw:


This is the inimitable Spike Spiegel crossing time, space, and my DVD shelf to clock Gin, the philosophic ronin from Samurai Champloo. Now, while it may make you sad that Spike would clobber a guy with glasses, just remember, he'd do the same to Vicious. The lesson, as always - don't let Spike Spiegel catch you walkin' around town with a sword, unless you like the taste of kick.