Monday, June 23, 2008

Steven Weber shows us his O face

Or, "It was a dark and stormy blog" -

The Sleep of Monsters Produces Reason

The reason of monsters produces sleep, too, as we are about to discover by reading the article.

Change is seeping into our consciousnesses and Hope is entering our lives like amber rays dispelling the murk of a drugged sleep, the one which we endured so helplessly, so long.

This is the secret, kids - the sleep must be drugged in order to produce reason. And don't bogart the special brownies, man.

The movement headed by Obama is becoming an unstoppable juggernaut, fueled not by his leadership alone but by the gathering momentum of those individuals who feel the totality of the movement's righteousness within them. Obama is the face of the movement; the people are the movement.

OK, so they're ex-lax brownies. Should have warned you.

And while we are relishing our Obasm, we must nonetheless be aware of the opposing forces who peer jealously across the widening breach, who are becoming even more embittered, even more determined to prevent this movement from succeeding.

See! There's the O face. (Hey, HE used the word "Obasm," I didn't.)

This is such tremendously bad writing, it should come with a surgeon general's warning. I've changed diapers with smarter stuff than this in them. I'm tempted to oppose "the movement" based solely on this steaming stack o' sump cloggings, but there's the bonus of all the disastrous, marxist, anti-liberty "shut up we know what's best" policy proposals. None of this, you'll notice, is described here in Mr. Weber's leg-thrilling prose. It's all about the afterglow of beholding the Dalai Obama after the horror of the W years. I'm amazed he still has strength to write after the plague of festering boils and the scarabs that gnawed off the fingers of every registered Democrat, but that's just how transforming Obamania is. (Just look at him glow!)

I haven't got around to quoting the part where Bush uses fear the way Saddam Hussein used poison gas on the Kurds. (Yeah, really.) Nor how he forgives Obama for sounding like a clueless stooge, because that's how you have to get elected in America. (With guys like Steve voting, it's actually hard not to agree.) In fact, Obama may actually be a clueless stooge - it's only his vision for America that's "virtually without fault," not him.

At least, it's without fault until someone points out the fault, and he furiously insists that 1. he never noticed that part of it over the last twenty years and 2. such questions are off-limits! And 3. HOPE and CHANGE!

Really, it's like "Vote Quimby" only with a real person. Or the "None Like It Hot" film from Futurama, where the narrator insists that a stopgap done every once in a while, with less benefit each time, is a permanent solution.

But what ab-


(My sincerest thanks to Rachel for the story.)

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